Can science explain what Mark Geragos couldn't?

Vapid Culture Presents:

Trans-col-o-sex-us (TCS): A Scientific Explanation for the bizarre ways of Janet and Michael Jackson, et. al.?

Copyright 2007, Jenna Williamson, J.D. http://vapidculture.wordpress.com

First, Many Beloved Entertainers were disfigured by Madamism

Now there's an even more devastating disorder threatening Tinsel-town:

Trans-col-o-sex-us

(from the Latin words for change, color and gender.)

This one runs in families.

It stems from a DNA mutation that affects Melanin production and sexual characteristics...

while also producing strong vocal and dancing abilities.

While absent in childhood, TCS symptoms start appearing in the patient's 20's, and reach epic proportions by the early 40's.

TCS affects men more severely than their female counterparts.

Both undergo skin-color transformations and changes to sex characteristics, but in men, these effects are more pronounced.

TCS stops just short of turning black men into white women.

In extreme cases, it has been known to cause genetically black men to father Danish-looking children.

The alterations to sex characteristics in female TCS patients, while marked, are less drastic than those found in men.

TCS-affected females begin to resemble drag-queens, and may be mistaken for male relatives who also have the disorder...

making it nearly impossible to tell who was born female.

Rather than turn the skin white (as it does in males), TCS turns the skin of females a greenish-ashen hue and changes it's texture to one that resembles plastic or wax.

TCS patients may undergo mental changes so severe that they lose touch with the outside world.

They overestimate their own importance and concoct elaborate conspiracy theories to explain personal problems and failures...

...such as poor album sales

"No one bought my album because my record company is racist!"

...and molestation arrests.

"Everyone knows I love children-- the allegations are ridiculous!"

"The police just wanted to rough me up! They dislocated my shoulder with handcuffs!"

Other delusions have the TCS patient living in a world that's frozen in time, where they don't age and fashions don't change.

This type of delusion may be expressed in any number of ways...

...like dressing as if it's 1992 in an album cover shot circa 2007.....

...or inviting twelve-year-old boys to sleep over, as if one is still twelve years old (and feeling the effects of puberty).

TCS also causes patients to lose sight of what constitutes appropriate attire.

The End?

Copyright 2007, Jenna Williamson, J.D. http://vapidculture.wordpress.com/