slatergordon.co.uk

A practical guide to relationship breakdown We’ll lead you through life’s complexities

2

Children and separation 3-10

•Carearrangements

•Parentalresponsibility•Goingabroad•Howtotellyourchildrenabout yourseparation•Separationchecklist

Child maintenance 11-12

•Childmaintenance

•Maintenanceoptions

Other financial matters 13-17

•Benefits•Childbenefit•Bankaccounts•Mortgages•Budgets•Counciltaxdiscount•Housingbenefit•Taxcredits•Childtaxcredit •Workingtaxcredit

•Councilhousing

Useful organisations 18-20

•Debtmanagement

•Personalsupport•Childrenandbreakdown

•Counsellingforyou

In the event of a death 21

•Considerationsintheevent of a death

•Guardians

•Changeofname

Dispute resolution 22-23

•Mediation

•Collaborativelaw•Solicitorassistednegotiations

•Courtproceedings

Notes and forms 24-31

•Glossary

•Budgetplanner•Samplelettertoschool

Contact usTheteamcanbeavailableasquicklyasrequired.

Telephone:08081757711 E-mail:enquiries@slatergordon.co.uk Website:slatergordon.co.uk/family

Contents

Care arrangements

Researchshowsitisnormallyinachild’sbestinterestif:

• Theyareraisedbybothparents

• Theirparentsdemonstrateapositive relationshiptowardeachother

• Theyareclearaboutthe arrangementsforspendingtime witheachparent

• Theyarenotexposedtosudden changesinarrangements

• Theyarenotexposedto negotiationsorconflicts

• Theydonotheartheirparentstalk negativelyabouttheotherparent

• Theyareabletokeepintouch withwiderfamilymembersand familyfriends

• Theirparents’newpartnerssupport thearrangementsandhaveagood relationshipwiththem

• Theyareallowedtoenjoytheirtime witheachparent.

What are the options?

Intoday’ssociety,noonefamilyisthesameandtherefore,whatworksforonefamilymaynotworkforanother.Whenyouseparate,youmaydecidetosharethecareofthechildrenonadailyorweeklybasis,oroneofyoumayhavetheday-to-daycare,with theotherhavingregularcontact.

Youmaywanttohaveacombinationofbothdirectfacetofacecontact andindirectcontactviatelephone, inwritingorovertheinternet.

3

No two cases are the same. We will treat your circumstances

with empathy and compassion.

Childrenand separation

4

Considerinvitingyourpartnerto meetyouataneutralvenuewhereyoubothfeelcomfortableorinapublicsetting,suchasacoffeeshop,todiscussthearrangements.

Thesearesomeofthearrangementsthatyoumaywanttothinkabout anddiscuss:

•Howwillthechildren’stimebe sharedbetweenyou?Thisworks bestifthereisapatternorroutine.

•Wherewillthehandovertakeplace? Ideallyitshouldbefromyour homes,butcouldbeviaathirdparty orinapublicplace.

•Whowillberesponsiblefor thecollectionandreturnofthe children?

•Whowillbedoinghomework, washingoranyotheractivities?

•Whatisgoingtohappenonspecial occasionssuchasbirthdaysand festiveholidays?

•Howwillarrangementsdifferover schoolholidays?

•Howwillyoutellthemaboutthe arrangementsthatarebeingmade forthem?Willyoutellthem togetherorseparately?

•Arethearrangementsflexible?

•Willyousetaminimumtimeperiod fornotificationofanychanges?

•Willtherebeadditionalcontact bytelephone,textoremailand ifso,when?

•Willtherebeanyoneelselooking afterthechildren?Ifso,whowill thisbe?

•Aretheretobeanyimportantrules thatyouconsideressentialforthe children?Forexample,setbedtimes, whenandhowtheirhomeworkis done,andcurfews?

•Whenandhowwillanewpartnerbe introducedtothechildren?

•Whatisthepositiononschool reportsandletters?

•Whatisthepositionregarding medicaltreatmentforthechildren?

•Willyouattendparents’evenings andotherschooleventstogether, separatelyoralternatively?

•Howwillyouapproachchoosingthe schoolforyourchildren?

•Arethereanyschoolrelatedissues thatwillneedtobeconsidered together?Howmuchinputwilleach ofyouhaveregardingGCSEoptions andfundingofschooltrips?

•Whatarethearrangementsforyour children’soutofschoolactivities, sportorhobbies?

Where do you start?

5

What is Parental Responsibility?

ParentalResponsibility(PR)isdefinedbySection3oftheChildrenAct1989as,“Alltherights,duties,powers,responsibilitiesandauthority,whichbylawaparenthasinrelationtothechildandtheadministrationofhisorherproperty.”

InsimpletermsapersonwithPRisresponsibleforthecareandwellbeingofachild.Thelawdoesnotlistwhattheseduties,powersandrightsare,butexamplesinclude:

• Consenttomedicaltreatment

• Arrangingachild’seducation

• Agreeingtoachild’schangeofname

• Administeringachild’sproperty

• Representingachildinlegal proceedings

• Determiningthecultureand religionofachild

• Agreeingtoachild’sadoption

• Agreeingtoandprohibitingthe issue of a child’s passport

Do I have Parental Responsibility?

Mothers

• HaveautomaticPRfromwhenthechildisborn

Fathers

Thepositionwithfatherscanvary.FatherswillhavePRif:

• Theyareorhavebeenmarriedto themotheratanytimesincethe birthofthechild

• Theyareregisteredjointlywith thechild’smotheronthebirth certificate,providingitisafter 1stDecember2003

• Theyhaveacquireditbyformal legalagreementwiththemother orbyCourtOrder

Why do I need Parental Responsibility?

PRisneededifyouwishtohavesomesayinthedecisionsregardingchoosingyourchild’sschool,religionandsurname.Itallowsyoutoconsenttomedicaltreatmentforyourchild.Italsoallowsyoutoappointaguardianonyourdeath,andalsopermitsyou tosignconsentformsforschooltrips.

Parental Responsibility

Parental Responsibility is needed if you wish to have some say in the

decisions regarding your child.

Children between 3-8 years

What is the legal position with regard to going abroad and children?

UnlesstheCourtgivespermission, theconsentofallthosewithPRisrequiredbeforeachildistakenoutoftheUK,nomatterhowshortthetripmaybe.ThepositionishoweverdifferentwhenthereisaChildArrangementsOrderinplaceunderwhichitisstatedthechildliveswitheitherorbothparents,orifaSpecialGuardianshipOrderisinforce.IntheseinstancesthepersoninwhosefavourtheorderismademayremovethechildfromtheUKforuptoonemonthinthecaseofaChildArrangementsOrderandthreemonthsinthecaseofaSpecialGuardianshipOrder,withouttheconsentofanyotherpersonwithParentalResponsibilityorthepermissionoftheCourt.

How do we tell our children of the changing circumstances?

Separationanddivorceforchildrenisundoubtedlyanupsetting,stressfulandunsettlingtime.Alotofissuesmayhavebeendiscussedbetweenyoubothandthethoughtoftellingyourchildrenmaybequitedaunting.Itmaybeusefultousebooksorstoriestohelpyoungchildrenunderstandwhatisgoingonbetweentheirparents.

Childrenneedtohearaboutissuesinaclearmannertowhichtheycanrelate.Belowisalistofbooksthatmaybehelpful,accordingtothechild’sage.

6

AstoryaboutAlexwhonowhas twohomes:oneatmummy’sand oneatdaddy’s.Recommendedforchildrenofaveryyoungage.

Two Homesby Claire MasurelISBN:0744589258

Acartoonstripstoryexplaining aboutseparationanddivorceforyoungchildren.

Dinosaur Divorce: a guide for changing familiesbyLaurenand MarcBrownISBN:0316109967

Going abroad

Dealingwiththe change in circumstances

7

Abookthatlooksatdivorcefromthechild’sangleandoffersanopportunitytoexploreandexpressthechild’sownfeelingsoftheirsituation.

Children Don’t Divorce by Rosemary Stones ISBN:0851228119

Tellsthestoryofdivorceinatypicalfamilyfromthepointofviewofanengagingyoungnarrator.Readerslearnaboutdivorce,andreceiveage-appropriateexplanationsofwhatishappeningregardingsuchissuesassingle-parenthomesandjointcustody.

Was it the Chocolate Pudding? A Story for Little Kids about Divorce

Abookabouttwosiblingswho worrythattheirparentsarguingistheirfault.Theycallameetingat theirschooltofindoutifanyone elseisinthesamepredicament. Theyfindoutthey’renotalone.

Two of Everything by Babette Cole ISBN:9780099220626

Asensitivebooktoinspireand supportchildrenthroughthedifficultyofparentseparationanddivorce.

Jack by Helen Bishop ISBN:0957108885

Older children/Young people

TheauthortellsthestoryofAndy whoisupsetaboutherparents’divorceanddoesnotknowwho sheshouldlivewith.

The Suitcase Kid by Jacqueline Wilson ISBN:0440863112

Thisbookdiscussesmanyofthe topicsthattroublechildrenwhen theirparents’divorce.

The Divorce Helpbook for Kids by Cynthia MacGregor ISBN:1886230390

Describedasacompleteguideforparentswhoareseparated,divorcedorlivingapartwhowishtocreate twocompleteandhappyhomesfortheirchildren.

Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci ISBN:9780684830780

bySandraLevinsISBN:9781591473091

8

It’s Not Your Fault

Averyhelpfulwebsiteemphasisingtochildrenthatseparationand/ordivorceisnotaproblemcausedbythem,butisanadultissue.Ithasadiarytoolthatencourageschildrentokeepaccountoftheirfeelingsandemotionstohelpthemcompareincomingmonths,forexample,whethertheyarehappierthattheirparentshavestoppedarguing.

www.itsnotyourfault.org

ChildLine

Offersafreeconfidentialhelpline open24hours.

Freephone: 0800 1111 www.childline.org.uk

National Youth Advocacy Service

NYASprovideadvocacyservices forchildrenandyoungpeopleup totheageof25.Theyprovidespecialisthelpinchildren’srights,childrenincare,contactissues,educationandyouthjustice. Theyhaveanetworkofadvocatesthroughoutthecountryandtheir ownlegaladvice.

Freephone: 0808 808 1001 www.nyas.net

Youth Access

YouthAccessmembersarededicatedtoprovidinghigh-quality,youngpeople-centredservices.

www.youthaccess.org.uk

There are also some handy websites that you may wish to let your children have a look at, particularly if they are older.

9

Who to tell about the change in your circumstances

nYourfamilyandfriendswhocanhelpandsupportyou

Asaresultofyourrelationshipbreakingdowntherearelikelytobesomechangestoyourcurrentlivingarrangements.Thismeansthereareanumberofpeopleandorganisationsyou may feel it’s appropriate to contact.Youshouldtakelegaladvicebeforecontactinginstitutionssuch asyourmortgagelenderorbank.

Your money

Youshouldconsidertelling:

nYourlandlordormortgagelender

nYourlocalauthoritycounciltaxdepartment

nYourbankorbuildingsociety

nAnycreditorsyouhave(suchascompanieswithwhichyouhaveacreditcardorapersonalloan)

nTheTaxCreditsofficeifyouneedtoapplyforTaxCreditsforthefirsttimeorifyouarealreadyreceivingTaxCredits

nJobcentrePlusifeitheryouor yourex-partnerisgettingbenefits

nYour local authority if they pay youHousingBenefit

nThedisabilityandcarersserviceifyouarereceivingAttendanceAllowanceorDisabilityLivingAllowance.

Your work

Youshouldtell:

nYouremployer.Theonlythingsyouspecificallyneedtotellyouremployerareyouraddressandyournextofkindetails,iftheyarechanging.However,itmayhelptoletyouremployerknowaboutthechangesinyourpersonalsituationsothattheyareawareyouaregoingthroughadifficulttimeandcanmakeallowancesforthis.

Your home

Youshouldtell:

nUtilitycompaniesincludingwater,gas,electricityandtelephone (butonlyifthepersonnamedonthebillwillnolongerberesponsibleforpayingorifyou aresettingupanewhome)

nYourinsurancecompanyifyouwishtochangethebeneficiaryorthoseentitledunderthepolicy

nThePostOfficeifyouneedtoredirect your mail

nThedriverandvehiclelicensingagency(DVLA)ifyouneedtochangeyouraddressdetailsonyourdrivinglicenceorvehicleregistrationdocuments

nTVLicensingifyouneedto changetheaddressdetailson yourtelevisionlicence

Separation Checklist

10

nThepassportserviceifyouneedtochangeyournameandaddressonyourpassport.Itishoweverpreferabletodelaychanging yournameuntiltheconclusion oftheproceedings.

Your children

Youshouldtell:

nYourchildren’sschools.Theonlythingyouspecificallyneedtotellyourchildren’sschoolsareyouraddressandyournextofkin detailsiftheyarechanging.However,itmayhelptoletyourchildren’steachersknowthat yoursituationathomeischanging,becausesometimeschildren’sbehaviouratschoolcanbe affectedwhentheirparents’relationshipbreaksup.Alotofschoolshaveapolicyonhowtodealwiththissituationsoitis worthcontactingthemtofind out.Youwillalsoneedtocheck thatlettersandreportswillbe sentouttoyouseparately. A sample letter to the school isprovidedonpage30. Youcanalsodownloadthisat:slatergordon.co.uk/rb

Your health

Youshouldtell:

nYourdoctoranddentistto changeyournextofkinand addressdetails(ifyou’removingoutofyourcurrenthome).

Inarelationshipyourfinancesarehighlylikelytohavebeenpooledtogether.Onseparationyouwillneedtoconsiderhowyourchangeincircumstanceswillaffecthowyoueachcontributetothewellbeingofyourchildren.

Forexample:

•Whatregularpaymentsareeither ofyoumakingforthechildren’s maintenance,andifso,towhomare thepaymentsmade?

•Whowillpayforclothesandshoes forthechildren?

•Whowillpayforuniforms,sports equipmentandkit,etc.?

•Whowillpayfortravel,forexample toseeeachofyou,relativesand friends?

•Whowillpayforschooltrips?

•Whowillgivethechildrenpocket money?

•Whowillpayforlargeitems,such asbicycles,computers,musical instruments?

• Howwillyousupportthechildren throughcollege,universityor othertrainingcourses?

• Howandwhenwillyoureview thesefinancialarrangements?

What are the maintenance options?

Parentshavethreeoptionsinrespectofchildmaintenance.Theycaneitherenterintoaprivateagreement (calledafamilybasedagreement)whichisnotlegallybinding,orrecordanagreementinaformaldocumentwhichislegallybindingbywayofaCourtOrder.Alternatively,ifachildiseitherunder16orunder20andinfulltimeeducation(butnothigherthanA-Levelorequivalent)andparentscannotagreetheamountofmaintenancebetweenthemselvestheycanapplyforanassessmentbythechildmaintenanceservice(CMS).Thechildmaintenanceservicedistinguishesbetweentheparent whodoesn’thaveday-to-daycare ofthechild(the‘payingparent’) andtheparentorpersonwhodoes(the‘receivingparent’).

Anapplicationcannotbemadeto theCMSifthereceivingparentor thechildlivesoutsidetheUK.

Thechildmaintenanceliability willbecalculatedonthebasisof apercentageofthepayingparent’sgrossweeklyincomeafterdeductionofpensionpayments.Reductionswillapplydependingonthenumberofnightsthechildstaysovernightwiththepayingparent.Areductionwillalsoapplyifthepayingparenthasrelevantotherchildreneitherlivingwiththem,orforwhomtheyhave topaychildmaintenance.

Child maintenance

11

12

Forfurtherinformationonthevariousoptionsyoucanvisitthechildmaintenanceoptionsserviceonline at www.cmoptions.orgorcontact byphone0800 988 0988.

Forinformationontheassessmentprocessbythechildmaintenanceservice,pleasevisitwww.gov.uk/child-maintenanceorcontacttheirhelplineon0845 713 3133.

Thelevelofchildsupportpayablecanbecalculatedonlineusingthechildmaintenancecalculatoratwww.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance.

13

Aseparationcandramaticallyaffectyourpersonalfinancesandassets.Thissectionaimstoprovideyouwithinformationonthefinancialsupportthatmaybeavailabletoyouoryourfamily,andhighlightssomeofthefinancialissuesyoumayneedtodiscuss.

Benefits

Asaresultofyourseparationyoumaybecomeentitledtocertainstatebenefitsoradditionalbenefits.Benefitsyoumaybeeligibleforcaninclude:

• IncomeSupport

• JobSeekersAllowance

• ChildBenefit(seefurther informationbelow)

• TaxCredits(seefurtherinformation below)

• HousingBenefit(seefurther informationbelow)

• CouncilTaxdiscounts(seefurther informationbelow)

• DisabilityLivingAllowance

• StatePension

• PensionCredit

• EmploymentSupport

• Allowance

• CarersAllowance

Pleasenotethatanumberof thebenefitslistedabovewillbeaffectedbytheintroductionofUniversalCredit.Further informationisavailableat www.gov.uk/universal-credit.

Tofindoutwhichbenefitsyou maybeentitledtoyoucanvisityour LocalBenefitAgencyoryoucanobtainanestimateofyourbenefitentitlementandapplyonlineat: www.gov.uk/browse/benefits.

Child Benefit

ChildBenefitisatax-freepaymentthatyoucanclaimforyourchild.Itisusuallypaideveryfourweeksbutcansometimesbepaidweekly.Thereareseparateratespayableforeachchild.ChildBenefitpaymentsusuallystopwhenyourchildreaches16,unlesstheyareineducationortrainingthatcountsforChildBenefit.Forexample,anadvancedcourseathighereducationlevelsuchasadegreedoesnotcount.YoucannotgetChildBenefitforyourchildoncetheyreachtheageof20.

Whoever is paid Child Benefit is assumed to be the primary carer. Therefore, it is important to ascertain who is to be the primary carer of the child as this may affect other financial benefits and support as well as contact and residence arrangements. If you and another person both claim Child Benefit for the same child, only one of you can get it.

Other financial matters

14

For further information on Child Benefit and how to go about changing the arrangements, visit the HR Revenue and Customs website at:

www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/child

Orbytelephoneon:0300 200 3100

MondaytoFriday8amto8pm.Saturday8amto4pm.ClosedSundays.

Orbypostto:

Child Benefit Office,PO Box 1Newcastle Upon TyneNE88 1AA

Bank accounts

Ifyouhaveajointaccountwithyourspouseorpartneryoumaywishtoinformyourbankofyourseparation.Youshouldfirstcheckthebank’spolicyondealingwithaccountsintheeventofdivorceorseparation.Youmayconfirmtothebankyouragreementtoclosetheaccountortotransferitintooneofyoursolenames.Mostbankshaveaspecificformforthispurpose.Mostbankswillnotagreetoanychangesiftheaccount isoverdrawn.

Ifyoudecidetokeeptheaccountopenuntilyouhavefinalisedyoursettlement,thenitisagoodideatolimittheoverdraftfacilityorwithdrawitfromtheaccountalltogether.

Forjointsavingsaccountsorjointaccountswithlargebalances,youandyourpartnershouldagreehowthose

balanceswillbedealtwith.Youmayagreetofreezetheaccountordividethemoneybetweenyou.

Mortgages

Onseparation,inevitablyasecondhomeneedstobefundedandasaresultthemortgagepaymentsonthepropertyyousharedtogethercanbecomedifficulttomeet.Therearehowevertemporaryandlongtermstepsthatyoucantaketomaketherepaymentsmoreaffordable.

Theseinclude:

• Contactingyourmortgage companytorequestamortgage repaymentbreak.Youwillboth needtoconsenttothis

• Ifyouarecurrentlyonarepayment mortgage(repayingbothinterest andcapitaleachmonth)youmay beabletoconvertthemortgageto interestonly.Youwillbothneed toconsenttothis.Itwilldepend upontheaccount’stermsand conditions

• Youcanconsiderre-mortgaging toachieveabetterrateofinterest orchangingthemortgageinto oneofyoursolenames.Wewould stronglyrecommendthatyou consultamortgageadvisorand takelegaladvicebeforetaking stepsinrelationtochanging themortgage.

15

By living in separate houses, one or both of you may become entitled

to benefits such as tax credits.

Budgets

Youfirstneedtoascertainyourjointhouseholdincomefromallsources.Fromemploymentthiswillincludesalary,bonusorovertimepayments.Youalsoneedtotakeintoaccountinvestmentincome(suchasinterestanddividends)togetherwithbenefitstowhichyouareentitled.Bylivinginseparatehouses,oneorbothofyoumaybecomeentitledtobenefitssuchastaxcredits.

Youwillalsoneedtoconsiderhowthepaymentswillbemade.For

exampleyoumayagreeaone-offmonthlypaymentpayablebystandingorder,oryoumayagreetoremainresponsibleforcertainitemsofmonthlyexpenditure.themoneybetweenyou.

Council Tax discounts

Ifyou’reonalowincomeyoumayqualifyforCouncilTaxreduction.YourfullCouncilTaxbillisbasedon atleasttwoadultslivinginahome.

Ifonlyoneadultlivesinahome (astheirmainhome),theCouncil Taxisreducedby25percent.Certainpeoplearenotcountedwhenworkingoutthenumberofadultswholive inyourhome.

Forexample,discountedpersonsinclude:

• Childrenunder18

• Peopleonapprenticeschemes

• 18and19-year-oldsinfulltime education

• Full-timecollegeanduniversity students

• Youngpeopleunder25whoget fundingfromtheSkillsFunding AgencyorYoungPeople’s LearningAgency

• Studentnurses

• Foreignlanguageassistants registeredwiththeBritishCouncil

• Peoplewithaseveremental disability

16

• Live-incarerswholookafter someonewhoisn’ttheirpartner, spouse or child

• Diplomats

Housing Benefit

LocalauthoritiesoffersupporttothoseonalowincomeandpayHousingBenefittothosewhoqualify,toassistinthepaymentofrent.

InordertoqualifyforHousingBenefit,youmust:

• Bepayingrent

Youmustnot:

• Havesavingsofover£16,000

• Liveinthehomeofacloserelative

• Beafull-timestudent(subject toexceptions)

• Beanasylumseekerorbesponsored tobeintheUK

• ByresidingintheUKasaEuropean EconomicAreajobseeker

Ifyouarecurrentlyreceivingbenefits,HousingBenefitwillcoverallofyoureligiblerent.

Ifyouarenotcurrentlyreceivingbenefits,HousingBenefitmaycoverallorpartofyourrent.

ForfurtherinformationoneligibilitycontactyourLocalAuthorityorcheckyoureligibilityandapplyonline:www.gov.uk/council-housing/apply-for-a-council-home.

Tax Credits

Ifyouareresponsibleforatleastone childoryoungperson,youmayqualifyforChildTaxCredit.Ifyouwork,butareonalowincome,youmayqualifyforWorkingTaxCredit.YoucanoftengetbothtypesofTaxCredits.IfyouwerealreadyreceivingTaxCreditsbeforeyourseparation,youwillneedtonotifytheInlandRevenueofyourchangeincircumstanceandtheywillreassessyourclaim.

Child Tax Credit

Ifyouhaveanewbabyoryou’reresponsibleforanychildrenundertheageof16orunder20infull-timeeducationorapprovedtraining,thenyoumaybeabletoclaimChildTaxCredittohelpwiththecostoflookingafterthem.

Working Tax Credit

• Ifyouareresponsibleforchildren, youneedtobeaged16oroverand dopaidworkofatleast16hoursa weektoqualify

• Ifyouarenotresponsiblefor children,youneedtoworkthe followinghours:

• Ifyouareaged25orover,youneed todopaidworkofatleast30hours aweek

• Ifyouhaveadisabilityandare16or over,youneedtodopaidworkofat least16hoursaweek

17

• Ifyouoryourpartnerareaged50 orover,andaregoingbacktowork immediatelyafterbeingonout-of- workbenefits,suchasIncome SupportorJobseeker’sAllowance, youneedtodopaidworkofatleast 16hoursaweek

• Ifyouoryourpartnerareaged60 orover,youneedtodopaidwork ofatleast16hoursaweek

Furtherinformationisavailableat:www.gov.uk/browse/benefits/tax-creditsandanonlinecalculatorisavailableat:www.gov.uk/tax-credits-calculator.

AlternativelyyoucancontacttheTaxCreditsHelplineon0345 300 3900 orinwritingtoTaxCreditOffice,Preston,PR14AT.

TaxCreditsarebeingphasedoutandgraduallyreplacedbyUniversalCredit.UniversalCreditwillbepaidasasinglemonthlypaymentthatwillincludeastandardallowanceplusadditionalallowancesforelementsincludingchildren,housingandcaringresponsibilities.UniversalCreditisbeingintroducedinstages,sowhetheryoucanclaimdependsonwhereyouliveandyourpersonalcircumstances.UntilyouareaskedtomakeaclaimforUniversalCredit,youcancontinuetoclaimTaxCredits.

Council housing

Councilhousingispropertythatisownedbyacouncilandnotbyaprivateindividualorcompany.Anyonecanapplyforcouncilhousingbuthomesarenormallyofferedtothepeoplewhoneedthemmost.Councilsuse‘points’or‘banding’systemstoworkouttheorderinwhichhousing isofferedtopeople.

Councilsdifferinhowtheyrunhousing.Somecouncilsmayhavetransferredalltheirpropertiestolocalhousingassociations.Somehousingassociationsalsorunthewaitinglistonbehalfofthecouncil.

Housingassociationsareseparatefrom,butoftenworkcloselywithcouncilstohouselocalpeople. Youcanoftenapplydirectlytoahousingassociationaswellasyourcouncil.Insomeareas,youmay onlydealwithahousingassociationwhenyouapplyforhousing.

Forfurtherinformationor anapplicationformcontact yourlocalcouncilorvisit: www.gov.uk/housing-benefit

18

Youmayhaveexistingdebtsorfindthatasaresultofyourseparationyouarerelyingoncredittosupplementyourincome.Youshouldgetindependentadvicetohelpyoufindthebestwaytodealwithyourdebt.YoucangetfreeandindependentadvicefromorganisationssuchasCitizensAdviceandtheNationalDebtline.

Belowisalistoftheorganisationsofferingfreehelpandadvice.

Debt Advice FoundationAregisteredUKcharity,operatingfreetelephonehelplineforanyoneworriedaboutdebt.

0800 043 4050 MondaytoFriday9amto9pm,Saturday9.30amto1pm

www.debtadvicefoundation.org

National DebtlineOfferfree,confidentialandindependenthelpoverthephoneforpeopleinEngland,ScotlandandWales.Youcancalltheirhelpline andalsodownloadpublications fromtheirwebsite.

0808 808 4000 MondaytoFriday8amto8pm

www.nationaldebtline.org

Stepchange

Providefreeandconfidentialcounsellingondebtproblems-includingpersonalbudgetingandcreditadvice.

0800 1381 111 MondaytoFriday9amto6.30pm

www.stepchange.org

Civil Legal Advice

IfyouqualifyforlegalaidandliveinEnglandorWales,CLAcanprovidefreehelporlegaladviceoverthephone.Theycanhelpwithdebt,housing,employment,education,welfarebenefitsandTaxCredits.

0345 3454 345 MondaytoFriday8amto9pm,Saturday9amto3pm

Payplan

ProvidefreeadvicetopeoplelivingintheUKondebtandbudgeting,includingfreedebtmanagementplansandIndividualVoluntaryArrangementswithoutupfrontfees.

0800 280 2816 MondaytoFriday9amto5pm

www.payplan.com

Useful organisations

19

Business Debtline

Provideafreetelephonedebtcounsellingserviceforthe self-employedandsmallbusinessesfacingfinancialhardship.

0800 197 6026 MondaytoFriday9amto5pm

www.businessdebtline.org

Your Local Authority

Someofferafreedebtcounsellingservice.YoucancheckwithyourLocalAuthoritybyfollowingthelinkbelow.

You’llbeaskedtoenterdetailsofwhereyouliveandthentakentoyourLocalAuthoritywebsitewhereyoucanfindoutmore.

www.tinyurl.com/3rmfmr5

AdviceUK

IsanetworkofindependentadvicecentresforpeoplelivinginEngland,ScotlandandWales.Tofindyournearestmemberagency,visittheAdviceUKwebsiteortelephone:

0300 777 0107 www.adviceuk.org.uk

NorthernIreland: www.adviceni.net/advice

Money Advice

Providesathoroughandhelpfulguideonfinancialissuesandthepracticalitiesyoumayexperiencewhengoingthroughadivorceandseparation.Theirserviceincludesanonlinedivorceandseparationbudgetcalculatorandotherusefulinformation,includinghelpwithdebt.

Helpline:

0300 500 5000

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk

Law Centres

Ifyou’rebeingthreatenedwithlegalaction,andyouqualifyforlegalaid,youcangetfreeandindependentadvicefromyourLocalLawCentre.

FindyourLocalLawCentre: www.lawcentres.org.uk

ScottishAssociationofLawCentres: www.govanlc.com/salc

Shelter

Offersfreeconfidentialadviceonhousing,debt,welfarebenefits,careandhealthneeds(includingdisabilityrightsandentitlements).

England: 0808 800 4444

Wales: 0845 075 5005

20

Arelationshipbreakdowncanbeverystressfulandemotional.Counsellingorotherformsoftherapycanhoweverhelpyouadjusttolifeafterseparation.Thefollowingorganisationsandbookscanoffersupportandinformationonparentingafterseparation.

Family LivesThisisanationalcharitydedicatedtoofferinghelpandinformationforparentsandfamiliesinarangeof circumstances.

24hourhelpline: 0808 800 2222

www.familylives.org.uk

Gingerbread

Provideaprofessionalfreephoneadviceserviceforloneparentfamilies,membershipservices,andanetworkofself-helpgroups.Thewebsiteincludesavirtualgroupforloneparentfamilies.

Helpline:0808 802 0925

www.gingerbread.org.uk

Relate

LocalRelatecentresofferrelationshipcounsellingandlife-skillscourses. Thenationalofficecanputyouintouchwithlocalcentres.Counsellingisalsoavailableoverthetelephone forasmallfee.

Helpline:0300 100 1234

www.relate.org.uk

Counselling for you

21

Considerations in the event of death

Why should I make a Will?

IfyoudonothaveavalidWillyouhavenosayinwhathappensafteryourdeath,includingwhatyourpreferredfuneralarrangementswouldbe andwhathappenstoyourestate. IfyoudiewithouthavingmadeavalidWill,yourestateisdealtwithbytheAdministrationofEstatesAct1925whichsetsoutwhocandealwithyourestateandwhowillinheritwhat. If you are still legally married (evenifyouareseparated)andyouhavenoWillthenyourspousewillinheritfromyourestate.

What is a Guardian and do I need to appoint one?

AGuardianissomeonewhoyouhaveselectedtolookafteryourchildrenincaseyoudiewhiletheyarestillundertheageof18.However,onlyaparentwithParentalResponsibilitycanactuallyappointaGuardian.

How do I appoint a Guardian?

Mostcommonly,thiscanbeappointedinyourWill,oryoucouldputitmoreinformallyonpaper,solongasitissignedanddated.

TheeffectofGuardianshipwilltakeimmediateeffectuponthedeathoftheparentwhohasmadetheappointment,exceptwherethereisasurvivingparentwithParentalResponsibility.

Change of name

Youcancallyourselfwhateveryoulikebycommonusage.However,ifyouwanttoofficiallychangeyournameyouwillhavetopresentlegaldocumentationtotherelevantagencies.

Ifyouaredivorcedorhavebeenthroughadissolution,yourDecreeAbsoluteorFinalOrderwillbesufficient.Inothercasesyouwill needachangeofnamedeed.

Children and changing their names

EveryonewithParentalResponsibilityforachildwillneedtogivetheirconsent.ForadefinitionofParentalResponsibilityandalistofwhomayhaveit,pleaseseetheChildren’ssectionofthisguide.IfyoudonotobtaintheconsentofallthosewithParentalResponsibilitytheycanstartlegalproceedingstostopthechangeofnameorobtainanOrdertomakeyouchangeitback.

Intheevent of a death

Change of name

22

Youmaybeabletoagreearrangementsforthechildrenand/orafinancialsettlementwithyourpartnerorspousewithoutneedinganyprofessionalsupport.However,evenifthisisthecasewewouldstronglyrecommendthatyouenterintoalegaldocumenttoensurethatwhatyouhaveagreedislegallybinding.

You must secure a court order as this istheonlywayinwhichyoucanhaveafinalandbindinglegalagreementinrespectoffinancialmatters.Thecourtordernotonlysetsoutthetermsoftheagreement,butmoreimportantlyitistheonlywayinwhichfinancialclaimscanbeformallydismissed.

What are the options if you cannot reach your own agreement?MediationMediationistheprocessbywhichyouandyourpartnerorspousemeettogetherwithatrainedindependentthirdpartycalledamediator.Themediatorwillfacilitatediscussionsbetweenyoutoencourageyoutoreachagreementsaboutarrangementsforthechildren,financesandproperty.Theroleofthemediatoristohelpyoucooperate,resolveconflictsandhelpyoureachjointdecisions.Mediationisnotreconciliationorcounselling.

Itissensibleforyoutoreceivelegaladvicealongsidethemediationprocesstoensurethatyouarewellinformedaboutyourlegal

position.Themediatorisimpartialandthereforecannotgiveyouindependentadvice.Thesessionsusuallylastoneandhalfhourseachandcanbearrangedtosuityourrequirements.Thenumberofsessionswilldependontheissuesthatneedtoberesolvedbetweenyou.

Arbitration

Arbitrationcanbestbedescribedasprivatecourtproceedings.Youandyourpartnerorspousewillagreewhowillactasthearbitratorandyouwillpayfortheirservices.Arbitratorsareexperiencedfamilylawyersorjudges.Byengaginginthearbitrationprocess,youagreetobeboundbythearbitrator’sdecision.

Arbitrationcanbeafastandeffectivewayofdealingwithfinancialclaims.

Collaborative Law

Collaborativelawistheprocessbywhichyouandyourpartnerorspousestillmeettogether,however,youeachretainyourownspeciallytrainedlawyerwhoisalsopresentduringthemeetings.Youdecidetheagendaandthepaceatwhichthemeetingsprogress.Collaborativelawisparticularlyworthconsideringifyouarelikelytohaveanongoingrelationshipwithoneanother,whetherbecauseyouhavechildrentogetherorfriendsincommon.

Dispute resolution

23

Solicitor Assisted Negotiations

Ifyoudonotwanttomeetfacetoface,negotiationscanstilltakeplacebetweenyouviaasolicitor.Thisremainsthemostcommonmethodthroughwhichfinancialterms areagreed.

Court Proceedings

Notallcasesaresuitableformediationorthecollaborativelawprocess.Agreementsmayalsonotbereacheddespiteattemptsatnegotiations.Althoughanapplicationmaybemadetothecourt,thecourtprocessstill

offerstheopportunitytoresolvematters.Onlythosecaseswhereagreementscannotbereachedwillbelistedforafinalhearingandafterhearingevidencefromthepartiesajudgewilldecidetheappropriateordertomake.

24

Glossary

• Affidavit

Aformal,writtenstatementsworntobetrue,morecommonlyknownasaswornstatement.

• Applicant

Thepersonapplyingtothecourt foranorder.

• Application for Divorce

Documentfiledwiththecourttostarttheprocesstolegallyendamarriage,traditionallyknownas apetition.

• Application for a Financial Order

Applicationtothecourtinthecourseofadivorceordissolutionforafinancialorder(e.g.maintenance,lumpsum,transferofproperty).

• Arbitration

Privateproceedingsinwhichacouplepayforanarbitratorandagreetobeboundbytheirdecision.

• Assets

Anydescriptionofpropertyor rightsotherthanlandoran interestinland.

• CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service)

Theorganisationresponsibleforsafeguardingandpromotingthewelfareofchildreninvolvedinfamilycourtcases.

• Child Maintenance Service (CMS)

TheCMSisthegoverningbodywhichdealswiththeissueofchildmaintenanceincludingthelevel tobepaid.

• Clean Break

Thistermisusedwhenahusbandandwifesettletheirfinancesonthebasisthatneitherwillbeabletomakeanyfurtherclaimsagainst theother.

Ahusbandandwifecandismiss theirclaimsagainsteachother’sincomes(claimsformaintenance),capital(includesassetsandpensions)andagainsteachother’sestatesondeath.

• Civil Partnership

Samesexcouplesagedover16canregistertheirrelationshipasacivilpartnership.Thisthengivesthemthe same legal rights as married couples.

• Collaborative Law

Awayofreachingagreementswiththepartiesandtheirsolicitorsmeetingtogethertodiscuss theissues.

• Conditional Order

Anorderconfirmingentitlementtotheendofacivilpartnership.

• Consent Order

Anordermadebythecourtwiththeagreementoftheparties.

25

• Contact

Organisedtimethattheparentwhodoesnotlivewiththechildrenhaswiththeirchildren.Contactcantakeplaceinavarietyofforms,suchasemail,texts,phonecallsorletters,aswellasovernightstaysandvisits.

• Decree Absolute

Thefinalorderofthecourttoconfirmthelegalendingofamarriage.Thisistheseconddecreepronouncedonadivorce.

• Decree Nisi

Anorderofthecourttoconfirmthatthepartiesareentitledtoadivorce.Thisisthefirstdecreepronouncedonadivorce.

• Dissolution

Whereacivilpartnershipisbroughttoanend(equivalenttoadivorce).

• Domicile

Thecountrywhereapersonhas hisorherpermanenthome,orclosestconnection.Thiscanbeeitheradomicileoforigin,oradomicileofchoice.

• Application to the Court made without notifying the other Person

Applicationwithoutnotice.

• Final Order

Anorderlegallyendingacivilpartnership.Canalsomeananorderdealingwithafinancialsettlementinadivorceorseparation.

• Form E

Financialstatementusedincourtproceedingsusedtoprovidedisclosure.

• Former Matrimonial Home

Theaddressatwhichamarriedcouplelastlivedtogetherashusbandandwife.

• Injunction

Anemergencycourtorder.Canbeanordertoprotectapersonfromdomesticviolenceortofreezeassetswithinfinancialproceedings.

• Judicial Separation

Anorderthatthepartieswillbelivingseparatelybutdoesnotendthemarriage.

• Maintenance/Periodical Payments

Aregularsumofmoneypaidfromonepartytotheother,usuallyon amonthlybasis

• Maintenance Pending Suit

Temporarymaintenanceforaspouse,pendingdecreeabsolute ofdivorce.

26

• Mediation

Attendanceatameetingwithaprofessionallyqualifiedmediatorwhohelpspartiesreachanagreementregardingchildrenand/orfinances.

• Non-Resident Parent

Theparentwhodoesnothavethechildlivingwiththem.

• Parental Responsibility

Thisistherights,dutiesandresponsibilitiesthataparenthasinrelationtoachild.

• Pension Sharing

Anorderconfirmingthepercentagesplitofapensionbetweenpartiesonadivorceordissolution.

• Petitioner

Apersonwhostartsdivorceproceedings.Nowknownasapplicant.

• Pre-nuptial Agreement

Anagreemententeredintobeforemarriagewhichsetsoutthefinancialarrangementsintheeventofthemarriagebreakingdown.

• Post-nuptial Agreement

Thesameasapre-nuptialagreement,butenteredintoafter amarriage.

• Prohibited Steps Order

Anorderpreventingaparentfromtakingacertainstepinrelationto achild(forexampleremovalfromthecountry).

• Residence

Agreementororderofthecourtconfirmingwithwhomachild willlive.

• Respondent

Thepersonanapplicationismadeagainst.

• Separation Agreement

Adocumentsettingoutthetermsofaseparationinrelationtofinancialmattersandorchildren.

• Without Prejudice

Ifadocumentoraconversationisdescribedasbeing‘withoutprejudice’itmeansthatitcan’t bequotedincourt,orshownto ajudge.

27

Budget planner

Item Current Monthly Expenditure

Future Estimated Monthly Expenditure

PROPERTY

Mortgage

Rent

BuildingsInsurance

ContentsInsurance

CouncilTax

HouseMaintenance

LifeInsurance-Endowment

LifeInsurance–Other

Replacementfurniture/furnishings/electricalequipment

Householddecorating

UTILITIES

Gas

Electricity

Water

Oil

BoilerService

TelevisionLicence

Sky/Cable

Telephone(Landline)

Telephone(Mobile)

InternetAccess

HOUSEHOLD EXPENSES

Food(household)

Food(atwork)

Windowcleaner

Gardener

Cleaner

Vetbills

Petinsurance

28

Item Current Monthly Expenditure

Future Estimated Monthly Expenditure

CHILDREN

Carinsurance

CarTax

Petrol/diesel

MOTandservicing

Breakdownservices

Depreciation

Taxi/bus/trainFare

Parking

LOANS

Loans

Finance/HPAgreements

Car(Finance)

CreditCards

StoreCards

PERSONAL

Clothing/shoes

Hairdresser

Beautician

Toiletries

Opticians

Dentist

Prescriptions

PrivateHealthInsurance

DryCleaning

Pensions

29

Item Current Monthly Expenditure

Future Estimated Monthly Expenditure

LEISURE

Holidays

Weekendbreaks

Christmaspresents

Birthdaypresents

Eatingout/socialising

Entertainment (e.g.,theatre,cinema)

Gymmembership

Hobbies/clubs

Newspapers/magazines

Books/CDs/DVDs/downloads

LEGAL FEES

OTHER ITEMS

SUB TOTAL A £ £

CHILDREN

Childmaintenance(ifnotresidentparent)

Schooluniform

Schoolfees

Schooltrips

Schooldinnermoney

Schooltravel

Clothing

Shoes

Pocketmoney

Childcarecosts

Babysitters

Holidays

Clubsandhobbies

OtherItems

SUB TOTAL B £ £

GRAND TOTAL A + B £ £

30

[NameofHeadteacher]

[AddressofSchool]

[Date]

Dear[nameofheadteacher],

Wearewritingtoinformyouofthearrangementsthatwehavemadeforourchildren[insertnamesofyourchildrenhere]followingourseparation. Weverymuchhopeyouwillassistinmakingthesearrangementswork.

[Children’snames] willlivewith[nameofparentandthelivingarrangementsintermsofhomeaddresses].

[Children’snames] willbecollectedby

•Xon[statewhichdays] •Yon[statewhichdays]

[Stateifthereisanyflexibilityinthisarrangementandifthereareanyotheradultse.g.grandparents,whomaycollectthechildrenfromschool].

Wehavealsoagreedthat[namesofchildren]will...[insertanyrelevantinformationaboutanyreligious,personal,social,health,sexandrelationshipseducationthatyouwishtoinformtheschoolabout].

Pleasewouldyouensurethatinformationabout[namesofchildren’s] progress andschoolornurseryeventsaresentto...[specifyhowandtowhom].

Inanemergencypleasecontact...[providehome,workandmobilephonenumbers].

ForinformationpleasenotethatthefollowingpeoplehaveParentalResponsibility:[insertwhohasParentalResponsibility].

Signed [Bothyournames]

Youcandownloadthisatslatergordon.co.uk/rb

Sampleletterto your child’s school

Notes

31

SlaterandGordonLawyersUK (LLP)isoneoftheUK’sleading andlargestlegalpracticeswith officesthroughoutEngland, WalesandScotland.

For more details please contact:

T 0808 175 7711 E enquiries@slatergordon.co.uk W slatergordon.co.uk/family

Slater andGordon (UK) LLP is authorised and regulated bytheSolicitorsRegulationAuthorityandtheFinancialConductAuthority for insurance mediation activity. The informationin this brochure was correct at the time of going to press inNovember2015.