Danielle Pugh Dr. Matthew Horton

English 1102 02 December 2011

A Journey Through Articles:

A portfolio to understand viewpoints

Table of Contents

Analytical Cover Letter ....................................................................................................................1

Quality Comparison .........................................................................................................................4

Least Successful Article Response ......................................................................................4

Most Successful Article Response .......................................................................................6

“What’s the Difference?” .....................................................................................................8

Revision Samples ...........................................................................................................................10

Least Successful Article Response (with markup) ............................................................10

Least Successful Article Response (final) .........................................................................12

Most Successful Article Response (with markup) .............................................................14

Most Successful Article Response (final) ..........................................................................16

Most Successful Essay (with markup) ...............................................................................18

Most Successful Essay (final) ............................................................................................23

3 October 2011 Matthew R. Horton, Ph. D. Assistant Professor of English Gainesville State College Oconee Campus 313b Oconee Classroom 1201 Bishop Farms Parkway Watkinsville, GA 30677 Dear Dr. Horton, My name is Danielle Pugh, and I was in your English 1101 class at Gainesville State College, Oconee Campus. During this semester I had a fun time learning in the unique way you teach. At the beginning of this year I was unsure about how I would hold up in your class because the assignments you gave were nothing like I had ever done. Looking back at how much I struggled at first with the article responses, and how much easier it became throughout your class, shows me that I have learned a great deal in the class. I created this portfolio to give an organized structure of what we have been doing in your class; it shows my improvement from the beginning of the year to later assignments. In English 1101 I learned how to explain an article in depth, and instead of just summarizing the article, I developed the skill of explaining the author’s point of view and why it is culturally significant in our society. I went from a learning support class to English 1101, and now I’m achieving to English 1102. In this portfolio you can see how my first article response lacked college level writing skills, but after discussions with you on previous responses helped me acquire a better understanding on how to provide the authors point of view. This portfolio really shows the improvement I had from the start to finish, which indicates that I am a hard working student that is willing to learn different aspects to writing. I think your way of teaching was very genius, and it really helped me do well in this class. You got me to want to improve my work because you made it evident that the more you work on something, the more it will improve. This portfolio basically shows the improvements I could have made on my papers if I would have taken more time, and it shows in my mark up responses that I worked hard on finding the flaws and trying to perfect them. I believe you will be happy to see that your teaching was a big impact on me because you helped me succeed in your class by giving me clear instructions and helping me with all my questions. “Test Article Response,” my least successful article response, was on an article about the limits on society, and how limitlessness is unattainable and can cause society to encounter dysfunctions. Editing this article response was relatively easy because after reading it again I noticed extreme sentence errors and grammatical errors. I did come across some issues in revising this article response, for example, my first paragraph was off subject in the begging and it didn’t get to the authors point of view until the mid-lower paragraph. I also had unimportant information, like the title of the article when the source is cited at the beginning. Then, instead of going into depth about the author’s way of perceiving a limitless society, I focused too much on what the article was about. In the second paragraph I didn’t give a clear indication on why Berry’s point of view is culturally significant, but after a better understanding on his point of view I was able to explain how it was. I chose this article as my least successful because I think

it didn’t show my full potential, even the title was unrelated and boring. I was happy to be able to have a second chance at writing too because it was also my lowest grade, and I knew I could improve it drastically. My second article response, “Yay, DNA,” was a major improvement compared to the least successful response, which clearly shows why I chose it as my most successful response. This response focused on an article about forensic science, and the improvement in technology helps solve murder cases with DNA profiling. The way I set up my response was well put together, but my main issues were grammar and spelling. Revising this article response was difficult because I wasn’t completely sure if I got points taken off for grammar or not properly writing the paragraphs and I didn’t want to miss important problems with it. In the first paragraph I explained McGough’s viewpoint fairly well, but I still started the paragraph off with useless information that was irrelevant to how he viewed DNA testing. I also didn’t provide any quotes, and it is extremely important to back up your statements with evidence that the author really feels that way. For my second paragraph it was really easy to edit because I felt strongly about the subject matter, and there was no pressure about figuring why McGough’s viewpoints were culturally significant. It’s pretty relevant why I chose this article for my most successful in my portfolio because it shows all the mark ups I needed in the first article response and how much less mark ups were on this article response. My most successful article essay was definitely the revised version of “Don’t let Machines think for you: Overcome your Dependency.” The purpose of writing this essay was to find an article with a topic that brings a question to your mind that tie in with it. I chose to select an article that proposed that idea of machines that have to ability to think on their own. It was very interesting to take that question into consideration, and by doing so I came up with a question of my own concerning that question. I thought of the movie I Robot instantly when I thought about machines with minds of their own because the movie is based on robots in society taking over because the mother board was sophisticated enough to think on her own and disrupt social order. It blended well with the article because Brian Christian implied that he was unsure about machines with the ability to make their own decisions and contain their own beliefs. For our second essay we could choose to start a new one or just improve the old one, so the first time I ever edited my paper was the trickiest because I had numerous grammatical errors, my thesis statement was irrelevant to the purpose of my paper, and the stages I had were not correctly set up. Then, for the portfolio editing it was a lot simpler because there weren’t as many errors. I have definitely improved my writing skills from the beginning of the year, but I still have a lot more to learn about writing. My experiences this year gave me the inspiration to become more skilled in my writing because I saw my own work undergo revision that I found on my own, and before I didn’t ever know how to find errors in the first place. I did face issues in writing because I would always find myself going off topic when trying to write authors points of views; I think they were my biggest struggle this year. All of the grades I got this semester I believed I deserved and I noticed a significant increase when I would go in for our one on one conference. My class grade averaged at about an eighty, and I do believe I deserved the grade, but I wish I would have worked harder to achieve that goal. My biggest regret this semester was procrastinating because I know if I worked harder I could have ended with a higher grade. Now that I have the basics down for college English I’m ready to proceed to English 1102 to get the

more in depth version of assignments we did. I’m excited to expand my knowledge and improve my writing skills with the things I learn next semester. Thanks to your class and this portfolio I have a deeper connection to English and bigger strive to be successful in writing, and now I feel like a well adjusted first year college student. Our final exam was replaced by this portfolio, which I believe is a more effective way to see a broad assumption on my average grade. I honestly think my paper is worth about an eighty five for quality, but an A for the effort and time that I put into it. The average grade for the article responses and essay is at about an eighty, so I believe with the revision and proper set up of the profile comes at about and eighty five. I did all my comments, but they might not be all what you were looking for so that could possible affect my grade. Also, I was able to find a good amount of errors, but obviously I’m not a perfectly skilled writer, so I probably left a few mistakes in my revisions. I know I will be satisfied with the grade I receive because I’m expecting to get what I earned, and by reviewing this portfolio I don’t think it will hard to notice that my efforts were effective in improving past papers. It is nice to be able to see your improvements in your grade because it shows that the hard work pulled off. I had a blast in your English 1101 class and I still obtained new knowledge, thank you for reviewing my portfolio and a wonderful semester, hope to get you next year for sophomore English! Sincerely, Danielle Sun Pugh

Pugh 6

Least Successful Article Response

Test Article Response

Berry, Wendell. "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits." Harper's Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. web. 22 August 2011.

In this article Wendell Berry elucidates his view on mankind in an abrupt manner that

appears to be cruel and demeaning. However, the behavior of humans give indication that

Berry’s idea might be harsh but is nonetheless true. His perspective of peoples thoughts is that

they are greedy and wasteful; for example, The Tragedy of the Commons, which is a dilemma

arising from the situation in which multiple individuals will ultimately deplete a shared limited

resource. Berry begins the article by stating, “The dominant response in short, is a dogged belief

that what we call the American way of life will prove somehow indestructible. We will keep on

consuming, spending, wasting, and driving, as before, at any cost to anything and everybody but

ourselves.” In Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits, the main argument is that people think

limitlessness is possible while Wendell Berry is in disbelief that people even consider it feasible.

He looks at these believers as unchristian and destructive, and he makes the valid point that it is

important to have limits for our society to function.

The explanation Wendell Berry provides of his thoughts on our society, in my opinion, is

culturally significant because his point of view could greatly effect our culture. His method on

informing readers of his standpoint is extremely blunt, this gets peoples’ attention and they

realize that he has a numerous amount of valid points. He acknowledges Americans faults and

lets them be known, which makes people aware of there flaws and gives them the desire to

change. This article, Faustian Economics, gives people a chance to grasp the reality of our

imperfections and really understand how we can upgrade our society. By reading and

Pugh 7

comprehending Berry’s assumptions, individuals can be encouraged to really think about how

they can alter there view on life. In this article Wendell Berry’s viewpoint, that our world is not

capable of being limitless and people are full off greed and wastefulness, makes the public

question there beliefs and consider surpassing there inadequate way of life. Berry informed the

public of his impression on life and it made a cultural impact on society.

Pugh 6

Most Successful Article Response

Yay, DNA!

McGough, Matthew. “The Lazarus File” The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, March

2011. Web. 6 October 2011.

Matthew McGough, author of The Lazarus File, explains to us how important our

advancement in technology is for solving murder cases. He begins the article by discussing the

murder of Sherri Rasmussen, that took place in 1986, that was never solved because they didn’t

have enough information. Then he informs us that the FBI created a DNA database that could

trace murder suspects by collecting DNA samples and matching them up to the right DNA

profile. With this new software forensic scientist decided to go back and clear the unsolved

murders from 1960 through 1998. When they got to Rasmussen’s file they stumbled across a

DNA swab and were able to crack the case. I think the point McGough is trying to get across in

this article is that our technology is extremely important in our society. With out DNA testing the

number of unsolved murder cases would be doubled, and the family members that don’t know

who killed a love one would be upset with the crime investigators. McGough defends his point

of view by simply stating the facts and backing it up with statistics and reports.

A lot of people are unaware of what the criminal justice force does or how they solve

murders and by reading this article they will understand how important they are to our society.

McGough gets us to understand how helpful DNA testing is by explaining it with something that

matters to all U.S citizens. McGough’s point of view is obviously significant to our culture

because murders take place everyday and we American citizens are affected by it. When

McGough talks about murder and how technology helps investigators solve crime, people are

automatically interested because o one wants to loose a loved one, especially by homicide. I

Pugh 7

think if people took the time to read this article they would be much more appreciative to the FBI

and crime investigators. Not only will the readers recognize the importance of the criminal

justice force they will also understand how much advanced technology contributes to solving

cases. Thanks to the FBI creating the DNA database people who undergo the terrible event of

loosing someone to murder, can have a peace of mind because they at least know who the

suspect is and that they are locked up.

Pugh 8

What is the Difference?

I chose “Yay, DNA” for my most successful article response and the grade I received was

a nine out of ten. This article response explains an article that describes murder cases and the

development/benefits of DNA profiling. In the first paragraph I explained McGough’s point of

view on this article; how he encourages the use of DNA testing for solving criminal

investigations. He talks about past murder cases that were never solved due to the lack of

forensic technology, but then explains how in recent years they went back and were able to crack

the case with the new DNA software. I supported my reasons of McGough’s point of views by

quoting certain things he stated about his beliefs. In the second paragraph I review the cultural

significance of the article and McGough’s point of view. The information McGough provided

was significantly correct, and the fact that the issues concerning his viewpoints are important to

our culture gives readers a clear indication of how important DNA testing and the whole forensic

science force is to our society. McGough gets readers to focus on his point of view, which gives

them a clear understanding on what he believes, and why it is important that we comprehend

them. McGough makes gets his readers to think about the consequences of not having the proper

technology for solving murder cases, and how it can affect anyone in society. My article

response was detailed and pretty exact, besides some grammatical errors.

My least successful article response was “Test Article Response,” it was my first article

response and I got a seven out of ten. This article response focuses on an article that explains the

factors of limitlessness, and how it is perceived by different people in society. In the first

paragraph I explained Berry’s viewpoints on a limitless society. I provided quotes to support his

opinion that limitlessness is a godly trait that isn’t possible, and people who believe such a

society is feasible are unchristian. In the second paragraph I provided insight on why his point of

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view is important for society to comprehend. He explains that people in society today are greedy

and wasteful, and having limits on society is the only way it can function properly. If people

agree with his statements then it could lead to a better functioning culture. I had many sentence

fragment and grammatical errors, and I didn’t give readers a full understanding on why his point

of view is culturally significant; I could have gone more into detail.

After comparing these two articles, I noticed how much I had improved on writing article

responses. Obviously they both had their flaws, but the more I did the better I got. My grades

consisted of seven out of ten, eight out of ten, nine out of ten, but for the fourth one I got an eight

out of ten again. I could have avoided this by going to Mr. Horton to review past responses to see

what my problem was, and I could have also done optional responses to practice instead of

waiting till the next one and make the same mistakes. In “Test Article Response,” I didn’t come

up with a unique title, the paragraphs went off topic, and it had unnecessary information like the

article name. In “Yay,DNA,” I did better on my title and I had a more clear idea of the article, so

I provided more information that was relevant to the assignment.

Pugh 10

Least Successful Article Response (markup)

Test Article Response

Berry, Wendell. "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits." Harper's Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. web. 22 August 2011

In this article, author Wendell Berry elucidates his view on mankind in an abrupt manner

that appears to be cruel and demeaning. Berry begins the article by stating, “The dominant

response in short, is a dogged belief that what we call the American way of life will prove

somehow indestructible. We will keep on consuming, spending, wasting, and driving, as before,

at any cost to anything and everybody but ourselves.” However, the corrupt behavior displayed

in our society today gives clearof humans give indication that Berry’s idea might be harsh, but is

nonetheless true. His Wendell Berry’s perspective of peoples thoughtson human behavior is that

people act in such abrupt manners because they are greedy and wasteful; . fFor example, The

Tragedy of the Commons, which is a dilemma arising from the situation in which multiple

individuals will ultimately deplete a shared limited resource. Berry begins the article by stating,

“The dominant response in short, is a dogged belief that what we call the American way of life

will prove somehow indestructible. We will keep on consuming, spending, wasting, and driving,

as before, at any cost to anything and everybody but ourselves.” In Faustian Economics: Hell

Hath No Limits, the main argument is on the idea of a limitless society. that Many people think

aim for limitlessness, is possible while and Wendell Berry is in disbelief that people even

consider it feasible. He looks at these believers as unchristian and destructive, and he makes the

valid point that it is important to have limits for our society to functionin our society for it to

function.

Formatted: Centered

Formatted: Different first page header

Comment [GSC1]: A comma is needed to set off introductory elements. I added the word author to indicate who Wendell Berry is.

Comment [GSC2]: This is a more appropriate place for the sentence because it provides an example when Berry gives the harsh truth.

Comment [GSC3]: A comma is needed before a coordinating conjunction.

Comment [GSC4]: I had a lot of sentence fragments throughout the article that I changed. The original structure of this sentence didn’t flow because they were incomplete thoughts.

Pugh 11

Formatted: Centered

The explanation Wendell Berry provides of his thoughts on our society, in my opinion, is

culturally significant because his point of view could greatly effect our cultureWendell Berry

explains his point of view on society and provides valid information about the problems that

could be caused by a limitless society. Berry’s viewpoints are culturally significant because he

took an important social issue and gave his readers an understanding of what we need to do to

improve society. HisWendell Berry’s method on for informing readers of about his standpoint

is extremely blunt, this gets peoples’grabs the reader’s attention and they realize that he has a

numerous amounts of valid points. He acknowledges Americans faults and lets them be

knownBerry acknowledges the faults American’s posses, which makes people aware of there

flaws, and gives them the desire to change. This article, Faustian Economics, gives people a

chance to grasp the reality of our imperfections and really understand how we can upgrade our

society. By rReading and comprehending Berry’s assumptions, individuals can be encouraged to

can encourage individuals to really think about how they can alter there view on life., and by

doing so it could lead to a less corrupt culture. In this article Wendell Berry’s viewpoint, that our

world is not capable of being limitless and people are full of greed and wastefulness, makes the

public question there beliefs and consider surpassing there inadequate way of life. Berry

informed the public of his opinion on life, and if people change their views according to his

insight on social limitlessness it could culturally impact society.In this article Wendell Berry’s

viewpoint, that our world is not capable of being limitless and people are full off greed and

wastefulness, makes the public question there beliefs and consider surpassing there inadequate

way of life. Berry informed the public of his impression on life and it made a cultural impact on

society.

Comment [GSC5]: The method is FOR informing readers because I explain what the method is used for.

Comment [GSC6]: It isn’t good grammar to start a sentace with by… which caused a few more changes in the sentence because of the change in tense.

Pugh 12

Formatted: Centered

Least Successful Article Response (final)

Test Article Response

Berry, Wendell. "Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits." Harper's Magazine. The Harper's

Magazine Foundation, May 2008. web. 22 August 2011

In this article, author Wendell Berry elucidates his view on mankind in an abrupt manner

that appears to be cruel and demeaning. Berry begins the article by stating, “The dominant

response in short, is a dogged belief that what we call the American way of life will prove

somehow indestructible. We will keep on consuming, spending, wasting, and driving, as before,

at any cost to anything and everybody but ourselves.” However, the corrupt behavior displayed

in our society today gives clear indication that Berry’s idea might be harsh, but is nonetheless

true. Wendell Berry’s perspective on human behavior is that people act in such abrupt manners

because they are greedy and wasteful. For example, The Tragedy of the Commons, which is a

dilemma arising from the situation in which multiple individuals will ultimately deplete a shared

limited resource. In Faustian Economics: Hell Hath No Limits, the main argument is on the idea

of a limitless society. Many people aim for limitlessness, and Wendell Berry is in disbelief that

people even consider it feasible. He looks at these believers as unchristian and destructive, and

he makes the valid point that it is important to have limits in our society for it to function.

Wendell Berry explains his point of view on society and provides valid information about

the problems that could be caused by a limitless society. Berry’s viewpoints are culturally

significant because he took an important social issue and gave his readers an understanding of

what we need to do to improve society. Wendell Berry’s method for informing readers about his

standpoint is extremely blunt, this grabs the reader’s attention and they realize that he has

numerous amounts of valid points. Berry acknowledges the faults American’s posses, which

Pugh 13

Formatted: Centered

makes people aware of there flaws, and gives them the desire to change. This article, Faustian

Economics, gives people a chance to grasp the reality of our imperfections and really understand

how we can upgrade our society. Reading and comprehending Berry’s assumptions can

encourage individuals to really think about how they can alter there view on life, and by doing so

it could lead to a less corrupt culture. In this article Wendell Berry’s viewpoint, that our world is

not capable of being limitless and people are full of greed and wastefulness, makes the public

question there beliefs and consider surpassing there inadequate way of life. Berry informed the

public of his opinion on life, and if people change their views according to his insight on social

limitlessness it could culturally impact society.

Pugh 14

Most Successful Article Response (markup)

Yay, DNA!

McGough, Matthew. “The Lazarus File” The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, March

2011. Web. 6 October 2011.

Matthew McGough, author of The Lazarus File, explains to us how important our

societies advancement in technology is for solving murder cases. He McGough begins the article

by discussing the murder of Sherri Rasmussen, that took place in 1986, that but was never solved

because they didn’t have enough information. Then he informs us that the FBI created a DNA

database that could trace murder suspects by collecting DNA samples and matching them up to

the right DNA profile. With this new software, forensic scientist decided to go back and clear the

unsolved murders cases from 1960 through 1998. When they got to Rasmussen’s file they

stumbled across a DNA swab and were able to crack the case. I think the point McGough is

trying to get across in this article is that our technology is extremely important in our society.

With out DNA testing the number of unsolved murder cases would be doubled, and the family

members that don’t know who killed atheir love one would be upset with the crime investigators.

McGough defends his point of view by simply stating the facts and backing it up with statistics

and reports.

A lot of people are unaware of what the criminal justice force does or how they solve

murders, and by reading this article they will understand how important they arethe criminal

justice force is to our society. McGough gets us to understand how helpful DNA testing is by

explaining it with something that matters to all U.S citizens. McGough’s point of view is

obviously significant to our culture because murders take place everyday and we American

citizens are affected by it. When McGough talks about murdercrime and how technology helps

Formatted: Centered

Formatted: Different first page header

Comment [GSC1]: This information is unimportant because the source already shows it.

Comment [GSC2]: It isn’t our advancement in technology its societies as a whole.

Comment [GSC3]: By replacing that with but it shows that even though it is an old case it still isn’t solved.

Comment [GSC4]: A comma is needed because it is opening a statement.

Comment [GSC5]: Shouldn’t use they because its unclear who they are.

Pugh 15

Formatted: Centered

investigators solve crime criminal cases, people are automatically interested because no one

wants to loose a loved one, especially by homicide. I think if people took the time to read this

article they would be much more appreciative to the FBI and crime investigators. Not only will

the readers recognize the importance of the criminal justice force they will also understand how

much advanced technology contributes to solving cases. Thanks to the FBI creating the DNA

database people who undergo the terrible eventincident of loosing someone to murder, can have

a peace of mind because they at least they would know who the suspect is and that they are

locked up.

Comment [GSC6]: Event is normally used to describe a good action that happened. Incident is more appropriate for this meaning.

Pugh 16

Formatted: Centered

Most Successful Article Response (final)

Yay, DNA!

McGough, Matthew. “The Lazarus File” The Atlantic. The Atlantic Monthly Group, March

2011. Web. 6 October 2011.

Matthew McGough explains to us how important society’s advancement in technology is

for solving murder cases. McGough begins the article by discussing the murder of Sherri

Rasmussen that took place in 1986, but was never solved because they didn’t have enough

information. Then he informs us that the FBI created a DNA database that could trace murder

suspects by collecting DNA samples and matching them up to the right DNA profile. With this

new software, forensic scientist decided to go back and clear the unsolved murder cases from

1960 through 1998. When they got to Rasmussen’s file they stumbled across a DNA swab and

were able to crack the case. I think the point McGough is trying to get across in this article is that

our technology is extremely important in our society. With out DNA testing the number of

unsolved murder cases would be doubled, and the family members that don’t know who killed

their love one would be upset with the crime investigators. McGough defends his point of view

by simply stating the facts and backing it up with statistics and reports.

A lot of people are unaware of what the criminal justice force does or how they solve

murders, and by reading this article they will understand how important the criminal justice force

is to our society. McGough gets us to understand how helpful DNA testing is by explaining it

with something that matters to all U.S citizens. McGough’s point of view is obviously significant

to our culture because murders take place everyday and we American citizens are affected by it.

When McGough talks about crime and how technology helps investigators solve criminal cases,

people are automatically interested because no one wants to loose a loved one, especially by

Formatted: Centered

Formatted: Different first page header

Pugh 17

Formatted: Centered

homicide. I think if people took the time to read this article they would be much more

appreciative to the FBI and crime investigators. Not only will the readers recognize the

importance of the criminal justice force they will also understand how much advanced

technology contributes to solving cases. Thanks to the FBI creating the DNA database people

who undergo the terrible incident of loosing someone to murder can have peace of mind because

at least they would know who the suspect is and that they are locked up.

Danielle Pugh

Professor Horton

English 1101

26 September 2011

Don’t Let Machines Think for You: Over Come Dependency

Brian Christian, author of the article “Mind vs. Machine,” brings up one of the artificial-

intelligence community’s first questions: “can machines think?” In Alan Turing’s attempt to

answer the field’s question, he suggested they come up with a test instead of addressing the

question hypothetically. This effort resulted in the Turing Test, where; several computer stations

are set up for judges to ask various questions, via typing, to two subjects: one human and one

computer. After Christian informs us about his decision on to entering the Turing Test, and then

he states:, “As a confederate, I would be defending the human race.” Since Saying this, Christian

is worried about defending the human race, he could be indicating that he is unsure about the

development of machines that arewith the capablecapability ofto thinking on their own. Society

is highly capable of creating computers with the ability to think, but it would be a strategic

process that could take centuries to master. When I think about the question stated above, I

contemplate wounder if it could be a possible threat to humanity if there were machines

sophisticated enough to obtain a mind of their own. However, I believe society already relies too

much on machines to think for them, and relying on a machines to think for youwhich is no

better then having machines that can think for themselves.

Being a student, I use my computer for practically everything involving school and I

technically rely on it computers to think for me. I use my computer for practically everything

involving school: I get my grades and assignments online, I use search engines to research and

Formatted: Different first page header

Comment [GSC1]: The colon was unnecessary and a comma is required because where is acting as a coordinating conjunction.

Comment [GSC2]: After allows the sentence to be in the right tense after deleting then he.

Comment [GSC3]: This sentence lacks structure, by adding after we can eliminate then he.

Comment [GSC4]: It was a sentence fragment, changes had to be made through out the sentence to be in the right format.

Comment [GSC5]: It was a redundant statement that could be replaced with which.

Pugh 2

find important information, and several of my papers I have to turn in are required to be typed up

in Microsoft Word. I frequently use Microsoft Word because it truly is more convenient and

efficient for writing papers, especially if youryou’re a student. I concluded that Microsoft helped

methe key to my succeed successful on my high school papers was using Microsoft Word, and

because it has athe variety of tools that I can use to help strengthen a paper. , and it is faster to

type a paper then to write one. Throughout high school it was mandatory that to type every paper

turned in had to be typed up in Microsoft Word, so I found myself disregarding the fact that I

was bad at hand writing papers because it didn’t seem as important. I think my dependency

worsened when I started high school because the more I used Microsoft Word, the less I

practiced my writing skills; and the older . As I got older my English classes slowly stopped

teaching usfocused less on Grammar and spelling, so I didn’t apply myself to practicing them.

These series of events led up to the unhealthyme to be dependentcy I formed using Microsoft

Word, on Microsoft Word, but it wasn’t till I failed my college placement test when I realize it.

It isn’t a mystery why I’m so reliant on Microsoft Word, the habits I developed using

Word led to my dependency. Microsoft Word is like the plastic surgeon of the writing world, it

has many tools that canthe ability to help improve a paper. I started to use Word abundantly in

high school, I wasn’t new to it, but the more I used it I discovered new helpful tools using it

more frequently. I got fairly good grades on my essays for high school, so I thank Microsoft

Word, and the tools it provides because I believe that I wouldn't have done so well without it.

First, Microsoft Word has spell check; I am a terrible speller, so if I miss spell a word it provides

the correct spelling. Also, Microsoft Word has a thesaurus; after typing a paper, I will I re- read

it to see if I have any over used modifiers, and if I do, the thesaurus provides a selection of

synonyms to replace the word. Microsoft Word has all the usual requirements that high school

Comment [GSC6]: This sentence t structure was choppy, so by moving the words around it fit properly.

Comment [GSC7]: Isn’t an unhealthy dependency because I am not physically affected by it, by changing that I changed the format of the sentence so further changes were necessary.

Comment [GSC8]: They don’t share the same tools, they just both have the ability to improve.

Pugh 3

papers were graded on, so it defeated the purpose of actually attaining the knowledge needed to

write a paper. Pretty much every high school paper that I had to turn in was required to be typed,

but even if I didn’t need tofor the few that weren’t I would still use Microsoft Word I still did, so

I couldto find the correct spelling and synonyms. I know these applications are meant to be

helpful, but I over use themsince I neglegtad to practice my writing skills, and now I can’t meet

the standards of a passing paper without using Microsoft word.

When I had difficulties writing a paper without using Microsoft Word, it dawned on me

that I was missing the essential skills needed to write a paper, and when I failed it I realized I

was dependent on Word. My acceptance letter from Gainesville State College explained that I

was required to take placement testing because my English SAT score didn't meet the

expectations. To avoid being placed in an intermediate English class, I had to pass two sections

of the placement test, the multiple- choice and writing portion. When our supervisor directed us

to hand write the paper it didn’t faze me, but when started writing I began to panic because I

realized how difficult it was to write a paper without it, and in that instance I knew I had relied

too much on Microsoft Word when writing papers. The placement essay was the first paper I had

to turn in that I couldn’t type, and I was helpless without spell check and synonym finder. I

scored a 97 on the computer section of the test, but I failed the writing portion; so I was placed in

English 0099, which is a learning support class that doesn’t count as a college credit, I was

mortified. The first day of class in English 0099 I had a second chance to do the writing portion,

thankfullyand we were able to use Microsoft Word. I ended up passing and got placed in English

1101, a class that actually counts as a college credit. If I failed, and had to take English 0099, I

would have wasted four credit hours, and it would take me longer to transfer out of Gainesville. I

Comment [GSC9]: It is very redundant and Microsoft word doesn’t have the requirements, doesn’t make sense.

Comment [GSC10]: To explain why it doesn’t count as a college credit.

Comment [GSC11]: Shouldn’t use both class and the name of the class, either one works, but English 0099 was just used.

Pugh 4

couldn’t believe how much my grades I depended on the use of Microsoft word to help me write

papers, without it, I know I wouldn’t be able to pass any of my college classes.

This experience made it clear that I developed bad habits using Microsoft Word, soand I

need to overcome the dependency I have formed to become a more skillful writer. I know, seeing

how technology becomes more advanced everyday, having to hand write a paper isn’t a no

longer as necessary of a requirement, but I believe it is a skill I should still posses. I shouldn’t

have to rely on a computer to think for me, I should obtain the knowledge myself by studying

correct punctuation and grammar skills needed to write a college level paper. To do so, I can

write my rough drafts without using Microsoft Word, and then revise them myself before typing

my final draft. Another thing I can do is avoid using the tools that Word provides till after I

finish typing my paper, this way I can receive my optimum grade while I advance my writing

skills. There are two more helpful things I can do to improve my writing skills: one, I can stop

texting because texting gets me into the habit of shortening words and miss spelling words, and

two, I can start reading more because it will improve my vocabulary, grammar skills, and

spelling by seeing them used correctly. I intend on developing the habits of a skillful writer and

breaking the dependency I have with Microsoft Word by following these methods, and it will be

a satisfying improvement to no longer have an attachment to Word.

I cannot believe it took me so long to realize that I am essentially addicted to Microsoft

Word. Going through this experience led me to understand the actual harm in counting on a

computer to help me pass my assignments. The fact that I wouldn’t be able to pass college

without the use of my computer is an important and alarming issueKnowing that without using

my computer for college could potentially cause me to fail is an important and alarming issue.. I

no longer want to rely on machines to help me get by on life my grades,; I should be able to

Comment [GSC12]: My grades don’t depend on Microsoft Word, I depend on using it to help my grades.

Comment [GSC13]: Its not a proven fact that I wouldn’t be able to pass college, so I had to move the sentence around to use its possible to fail.

Pugh 5

achieve success without depending on technology. I honestly think that civilization would be

incapable of succeeding without technology, which is okay to an extent because our world

revolves around technology, just as long as our dependency doesn’t grow. I hope people will one

day realize that finishing a task without the use of machines is feasible, and the less we use

technology the less we will depend on it. As of today we cannot answer the question “Can

machines think?,”, but it is possible that one day they could, and if we already depend on

machines to think for us, what do we risk if they become sophisticated enough to think on there

own?. If society keeps going through life relying too much on machines then the real question

should be, do we want machines to think, because in the end it doesn’t matter if they can its what

will happen if they do. we don’t know what dysfunctions can occur with such intelligent

software.

Comment [GSC14]: Irrelevant sentence, random.

Danielle Pugh

Professor Horton

English 1101

26 September 2011

Don’t Let Machines Think for You: Over Come Dependency

Brian Christian, author of the article “Mind vs. Machine,” brings up one of the artificial-

intelligence community’s first questions: “can machines think?” In Alan Turing’s attempt to

answer the field’s question, he suggested they come up with a test instead of addressing the

question hypothetically. This effort resulted in the Turing Test, where several computer stations

are set up for judges to ask various questions, via typing, to two subjects: one human and one

computer. After Christian informs us about his decision todecision to entering the Turing Test,

and states, “As a confederate, I would be defending the human race.” Saying this, Christian

could be indicating that he is unsure about the development of machines with the capability to

think on their own. Society is highly capable of creating computers with the ability to think, but

it would be a strategic process that could take centuries to master. When I think about the

question stated above, I wounderwonder if it could be a possible threat to humanity if there were

machines sophisticated enough to obtain a mind of their own. However, I believe society already

relies too much on machines to think for them, which is no better then having machines that can

think for themselves.

Being a student, I technically rely on computers to think for me. I use my computer for

practically everything involving school: I get my grades and assignments online, I use search

engines to research and find important information, and several of my papers I have to turn in are

required to be typed up in Microsoft Word. I frequently use Microsoft Word because it truly is

Pugh 2

more convenient and efficient for writing papers, especially if you’re a student. I concluded that

the key to my successfulmy successful high school papers was using Microsoft Word, and the

variety of tools I can use to help strengthen a paper. Throughout high school it was mandatory to

type every paper in Microsoft Word, so I found myself disregarding the fact that I was bad at

hand writing papers because it didn’t seem as important. I think my dependency worsened when

I started high school because the more I used Microsoft Word, the less I practiced my writing

skills. As I got older my English classes focused less onGrammaron Grammar and spelling, so I

didn’t apply myself to practicing them. These series of events led me to be dependent on

Microsoft Word, but it wasn’t till I failed my college placement test when I realize it.

It isn’t a mystery why I’m so reliant on Microsoft Word, the habits I developed using

Word led to my dependency. Microsoft Word is like the plastic surgeon of the writing world, it

has the ability to help improve a paper. I started to use Word abundantly in high school, I wasn’t

new to it, but I discovered new helpful tools using it more frequently. I got fairly good grades on

my essays for high school, so I thank Microsoft Word, and the tools it provides because I believe

that I wouldn't have done so well without it. First, Microsoft Word has spell check; I am a

terrible speller, so if I miss spell a word it provides the correct spelling. Also, Microsoft Word

has a thesaurus; after typing a paper I re-read it to see if I have any over used modifiers, and if I

do, the thesaurus provides a selection of synonyms to replace the word... Pretty much every high

school paper that I had to turn in was required to be typed, but for the few that weren’t I would

still use Microsoft Word to find the correct spelling and synonyms. I know these applications are

meant to be helpful, but since I neglegtadneglected to practice my writing skills I can’t meet the

standards of a passing paper without using Microsoft word.

Pugh 3

When I had difficulties writing a paper without using Microsoft Word, it dawned on me

that I was missing the essential skills needed to write a paper, and when I failed it I realized I

was dependent on Word. My acceptance letter from Gainesville State College explained that I

was required to take placement testing because my English SAT score didn't meet the

expectations. To avoid being placed in an intermediate English class I had to pass two sections of

the placement test, the multiple-choice and writing portion. When our supervisor directed us to

hand write the paper it didn’t faze me, but when started writing I began to panic because I

realized how difficult it was to write a paper without it, and in that instance I knew I had relied

too much on Microsoft Word when writing papers. The placement essay was the first paper I had

to turn in that I couldn’t type, and I was helpless without spell check and synonym finder. I

scored a 97 on the computer section of the test, but I failed the writing portion; so I was placed in

English 0099, which is a learning support class that doesn’t count as a college credit, I was

mortified. The first day of class I had a second chance to do the writing portion, andweand we

were able to use Microsoft Word. I ended up passing and got placed in English 1101, a class that

actually counts as a college credit. If I failed, and had to take English 0099, I would have wasted

four credit hours, and it would take me longer to transfer out of Gainesville. I couldn’t believe

how much Imuch I depended on the use of Microsoft word to help me write papers, without it, I

know I wouldn’t be able to pass any of my college classes.

This experience made it clear that I developed bad habits using Microsoft Word, and I

need to overcome the dependency I have formed to become a more skillful writer. I know, seeing

how technology becomes more advanced everyday, having to hand writewrite a paper is no

longer as necessary of a requirement, but I believe it is a skill I should still posses. I shouldn’t

have to rely on a computer to think for me, I should obtain the knowledge myself by studying

Pugh 4

correct punctuation and grammar skills needed to write a college level paper. To do so, I can

write my rough drafts without using Microsoft Word, and then revise them myself before typing

my final draft. Another thing I can do is avoid using the tools that Word provides till after I

finish typing my paper, this way I can receive my optimum grade while I advance my writing

skills. There are two more helpful things I can do to improve my writing skills: one, I can stop

texting because texting gets me into the habit of shortening words and miss spelling words, and

two, I can start reading more because it will improve my vocabulary, grammar skills, and

spelling by seeing them used correctly. I intend on developing the habits of a skillful writer and

breaking the dependency I have with Microsoft Word by following these methods, and it will be

a satisfying improvement to no longer have an attachment to Word.

I cannot believe it took me so long to realize that I am essentially addicted to Microsoft

Word. Going through this experience led me to understand the actual harm in counting on a

computer to help me pass my assignments. Knowing that without using my computer for college

could potentially cause me to fail is an important and alarming issue.. I no longer want to rely on

machines to help me get by on myon my grades,grades; I should be able to achieve success

without depending on technology. I honestly think that civilization would be incapable of

succeeding without technology, which is okay to an extent because our world revolves around

technology. I hope people will one day realize that finishing a task without the use of machines is

feasible, and the less we use technology the less we will depend on it. As of today we cannot

answer the question “Can machines think?”, but it is possible that one day they could, and if we

already depend on machines to think for us, what do we risk if they become sophisticated enough

to think on there own? If society keeps going through life relying too much on machines then the

Pugh 5

real question should be, do we want machines to think, because we don’t know what

dysfunctions can occur with such intelligent software.software?