a holistic approach to reducing your worry and anxiety · the worry-less toolkit is intended for...

Worry-Less ToolKit

Handbook A Holistic Approach To Reducing

Your Worry and Anxiety

www.yourspiritedlife.com

No part of this material may be used or distributed without written permission. Copyright Annie Mascelli and YourSpiritedLife.com, 2015!

Annie Mascel li By

YourSpiritedLife.com

http://SpiritedLife.com

http://SpiritedLife.com

http://YourSpiritedLife.com


http://www.yourspiritedlife.com

Disclaimer#

!In utilizing the materials in the Worry Less ToolKit, you agree to take

complete responsibility for your own physical health and emotional

wellbeing. Coaching with Annie Mascelli or any Your Spirited Life materials

should not be construed as a prescription, a promise of benefits, claims of

cure, or a guarantee of results to be achieved.!

!The information, instruction or advice given here or by Annie Mascelli is not

intended to be a substitute for competent, professional medical or

psychological diagnosis and care. You should not discontinue or modify any

medication presently being taken pursuant to medical advice without

obtaining approval from your healthcare professional. The Worry-Less

ToolKit is intended for informational and educational purposes only.

Because the materials in the ToolKIt are general, they may not apply to an

individual’s specific situation. You should independently assess and verify

any information obtained and should not take (or refrain from taking) any

action based on the information you obtain from these materials.!

!The Worry-Less ToolKit is not a substitute for medical, psychological,

psychiatric, wellness, therapeutic or other diagnosis, care, counseling,

advice, consulting or treatment, or for any medicine.!

!



Step One: #

Beginning the

Journey To Less

Worry and Anxiety#



Assess Your Total Stress Load#!Many factors influence your stress level: #- Busyness!- Positive and negative experiences

and life events!- Financial hardships!- Physical issues!- Emotional challenges!- Relationship issues!- Existential angst!- Isolation!

!



!

# 1 Reason for Stress: #Feeling a Lack of Control!

!



!

Keeping Worry and

Anxiety #

Low

Starts With #

Keeping Your #

Total Stress Load #

Low#

!www.yourspiritedlife.com


And #

Keeping Your #

Self Care #

Consistent#

#



Self Care To Reduce Stress#

!- Regular aerobic exercise to get rid of stress hormones in

the body!- Eating to keep your blood sugar stable!- Getting enough sleep, 7 - 8 hours per night!- Eliminating negative influences, such as dark, violet TV

shows, too much news!- Increasing positive influences, such as music, being with

people you enjoy!- Having positive outlets for

your feelings,

such as journaling, talking

to a friend!- Feeling connected and

supported!



!

Step Two: #

Understanding The

Gifts #

of Worry and Anxiety #

!

Is There Anything

Good Going On Here?#www.yourspiritedlife.com


The Message of Worry#What is lacking? !

What is needed? !

What is missing?!

!(Love, money, time, support, resources,

planning, communication, confidence?)!

!!!!!!!



Questions to Ask Yourself:#- Are you prepared? Are you procrastinating? What do

you need to feel more comfortable? To be ready?!

- What do you need to face and deal with?!

- Can you make space for feeling unease? For the

unknown?!

- Can you be comfortable with not being able to control,

plan, and predict everything?!

- Do you have a Plan B? !

- Thinking through your options and planning how

you’ll handle whatever might come up!

- Affirming that you are willing and able to face

whatever happens and that you will figure out how to

handle it!

- “Consenting and Holding” what comes up: allowing

yourself to feel your feelings, explore them, and be

present for yourself!



Message of Anxiety#An impulse is bumping up !

against a belief that

the impulse is not OK. !

!

Something is !

“Not allowed.”!!


Limiting #Belief

New#Impulse


Example:#“I want to change jobs to do something more creative and entrepreneurial, but I was raised that work needs to be stable and secure, so I can’t make a change.”#

!

Questions To Ask Yourself#- What am I not allowed to do?!

- e.g. Have boundaries, say No!!- e.g. Say Yes! (Be vulnerable, take a risk)!

!



Step 3:

Changing The Habit #

of Worry and Anxiety #

!



How To Use #The Worry-Less ToolKit !Rate Your Stress Level — Choose Your Tool#!!!


}Feeling fine >>

!Tending to worry >>

Low hum of

nagging worry >>!

Feelings of hyper-vigilance

More pervasive worry or anxious

thoughts >> !!

Spikes of worry or anxiety affecting

activities/work

Disruptive worry and anxiety >> !

!Physical

symptoms of fight or flight

1# 2# 3# # 4# 5# 6# # 7# 8# 9# # 10# } }

Rising panic or

paralyzing worry


The Worry-Less Tools #

For: # # # # Use:#Level 1 - 3# # # The Worry Jar#

# # # # # # Morning Pages#

!Level 4 - 6# # # Head-Heart Dialogue#

# # # # # # Go Outside#

# # # # # # Focusing#

!Level 7 - 9# # # Eye Movement # # #

# # # # # # Birthday Candle #

!Level 10# # # # Asking for Help


}}}}


Things To Remember As You Work With The Tools:#

1. Worrying and getting anxious is very common, you are

not alone.!

2. Worrying and becoming anxious are things your mind

does to try to protect you from harm.!

3. Shifting into worry or anxiety is a HABIT that can be

changed, to some degree and slowly over time.!

4. Give yourself permission to try a new response to a

feeling or situation and to develop a new habit of mind.!

5. Don’t stop any prescribed practices or medications

without talking it over with your licensed health-care

provider.!

6. Practicing the tools when you’re NOT highly stressed

will help you remember to practice them when you

ARE stressed.!

7. Try one or two tools at a time, don’t overload yourself

and create resistance.!www.yourspiritedlife.com


The Worry Jar#!

Take a jar, vase, cookie jar, or box. Cut up small pieces of paper and put them and a pen near the Jar. Whenever you notice yourself worrying about something, write it down on one of the pieces of paper and put it in the Jar.!!Let the Jar have the worry.!!Once it’s in the Jar, you just simply aren’t required to worry, analyze, judge, ruminate, brainstorm, freak out, discuss, or even wonder what to do about whatever it was.!!The Jar’s got this.!!Another name for the Worry Jar is the God Jar. Now, the word God may not have a good meaning for you. You might like The Divine or Spirit or Higher Power or The Universe. Or you might like Worry Jar.!!The point is not what you name it, the point is that when that paper goes into the Jar you are Letting Go of trying to figure out how to fix what ever’s bothering you with your same old thoughts about it.!!Everyone worries from time to time. Everyone thinks, at some level, that worrying is actually doing something constructive. It’s not. If you have a problem that you need to face, then face it and deal with it. Make a plan, take an action, seek help.!!The Worry Jar is for those nagging worrisome thoughts that come around and around all the time and don’t help, fix, solve, or illuminate anything.!!Whatever you’re worried about, let it rest. Let something larger than yourself handle it. Let some spaciousness bring a change in perspective, intensity, stuckness, or creative thinking. !!Feel free to put the same worry in as many times as you need to. No one’s counting. Once the Jar is full, take out the papers and, after reading through them or not, burn them safely.!!


Stress Level: 1-3


Morning Pages#


Open a notebook, nothing fancy. Take a pen, nothing special.!!First thing in the morning, write, in longhand, three pages of stream of consciousness thoughts, dumping your mind onto the page, without a care for grammar, punctuation, or dangling participles.!!Write continuously, even if it’s just “I don’t know what to write,” repeated over and over. Be as whiny, petty, and grumpy as you like. Whatever is crossing your mind, write it down.!!At the end of the three pages, close the notebook. Go about with your day.!!Tomorrow morning, repeat.!!Do not read, edit, or review what you wrote. Ever.!!When the notebook is full, burn it.!!Start another one.!!The process of Morning Pages clears your mind. !!They make you much more aware and conscious as you go through your day.!!Reference: Julia Cameron’s, The Artists Way. http://juliacameronlive.com!!P.S. Cameron recommends doing this in the morning, however, I have had some clients find that it works better for them at night, just before bed, helping them to get a better night’s sleep. Try the morning first and see if that works for you. !!And if you’re worried about filing up the 3 pages, buy a small notebook.

Stress Level: 1-3

http://juliacameronlive.com

http://juliacameronlive.com


Head-Heart Dialogue#


While the Worry Jar may help you feel less alone and the Morning Pages may take some things off your mind, sometimes you need a way to talk something over with yourself that’s more meaningful than the typical, repetitive, unhelpful thoughts you keep mulling over day after day.!!You need to add the wisdom, tenderness, patience, and honesty of your heart to that conversation you’re having in your head.!!Head-Heart Dialogue Instructions!

• Grab a pencil, pen, or colored marker. Use your journal or a sheet of paper.!

• Write the question you want some Heart Wisdom about with your dominant hand (right hand if you are right handed).!

• Then, put the pencil in your other, non dominant, hand to write the answer.!

• Don’t ponder the answer, just put down (you’ll probably be printing or scrawling) exactly what comes to you without thinking about it, even if it doesn’t seem to make too much sense.!

• Keep asking questions to go deeper, writing the question with your dominant hand and the answers with your non dominant hand.!

• Reflect on your Heart’s Wisdom.

Stress Level: 4-6


Go Outside Into Nature#Regular time spent outside in nature has been shown to be essential for good health. On those occasions when you’re experiencing midrange worry and anxiety, consciously choosing to go into nature can be the antidote to your negative thought loop you’re in, expanding your perspective and providing a respite from your usual pattern.!

Physiologically, going for a walk, or engaging in another aerobic activity outside, allows your body to process and eliminate the fight-or-flight response hormones that flood your body when you’re stressed. This is critical to relive the build-up of these hormones in your system.!

Top 8 Reasons To Find Some “Green Time” Outside Everyday#

• Provides respite from sensory overload: once outside in nature, your mind can engage in a beneficial “active rest”; free to attend to things of interest, free to reflect and wander, but without simultaneously working to tune out unwanted distractions.!

• Improves cognitive functioning: University of Michigan psychology researchers found memory performance and attention spans improved by 20 percent after people spent an hour interacting with nature.!

• Increased creativity: University of Kansas reported a 50 percent boost in creativity for people who were steeped in nature for a few days.!

• Researchers in England and Sweden have found that joggers who exercise in a natural green setting with trees, foliage and landscape views, feel more restored, and less anxious, angry and depressed than those runners who burn the same amount of calories in gyms or other urban settings.!

• According to the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, the closer you live to nature, the healthier you're likely to be.!

• We just keep learning more and more about how important the sunshine vitamin, vitamin D, is for health, including preventing cancer, hormonal problems, obesity, and inflammation, and having a strong immune system. !

• Being in a natural setting can also help increase your quality of sleep, as studies show that natural sunlight helps set the body's internal clock that tells us when to eat and sleep, and normalizes hormonal functions that occur at specific times of the day.


Stress Level: 4-6


Focusing#with Unconditional Presence#


The mind body technique known as Focusing was developed by Eugene T. Gendlin and presented in his book of that name and expanded on by Ann Weiser Cornell in The Power of Focusing, A Practical Guide to Emotional Self-Healing. Both of these books are still available and highly recommended. You might also visit: The Focusing Institute.!For the purposes of the Worry-Less ToolKit, we’ll be combining the basics of Focusing with a technique developed by John Welwood, PhD (http://www.johnwelwood.com/) called Unconditional Presence, as well as using the metaphor of practicing yoga to help explain how to use this tool.!Your Body Knows More Than You’re Aware Of# Every emotion has a corresponding bodily sensation, even emotions you’re not aware of at the time. In Focusing with Unconditional Presence (FWUP), instead of following the story of the emotions, “He did this and that” or “I should have said more or less,” we drop into the body, usually the torso, and experience the energy of the emotion through the felt sense in the body.!This is powerful because the body is always in the present moment and is holding the exact charge of the thoughts and feelings. Rather than pushing away the thought-story or following down the rabbit hole, we enter into the body sensation and fully experience the emotion without labels, judgements, story, or analysis. This way we can discharge the energy and truly process the feeling in a way no amount of thinking or talking about it can ever do.!Pausing, Feeling, Naming#To do this, simply drop your awareness into your body and see what physical sensation draws your attention. It might be a knot in your stomach or a tightness in your heart area. Let go of judging it or yourself and just focus on finding it, staying with it and then finding a word or image that perfectly matches it. It might be “jagged rock” or “pressure”. Trust whatever comes to mind first.!Allowing, Experiencing, Witnessing#Next, ask yourself if you have the willingness to just be with this sensation, to let it be as big or as deep as it needs to be, and to just soften around it, giving it as much space as it needs. Be the person experiencing the sensation and the person

Stress Level: 4-6

http://www.apple.com

http://www.johnwelwood.com/


http://www.apple.com

http://www.johnwelwood.com/


your attention to being with the physical sensation of resistance, name it “resistance” and ask yourself if your willing to experience that. Just look for whatever you can say yes to and give it your presence, unconditionally.!Asking, Receiving, Shifting#Once you give the sensation the space and presence it needs, it may shift of its own accord. Follow the shifting sensations, naming them and giving them space. At some point you may ask the sensation a question, such as “What do you need right now?” or “How do you want me to be with you now?” Try not to let your mind answer, keep focused on the sensation and see, feel, hear, or intuit the answer.!Once the energy of the sensation has crested and relaxed, you can decide if you want to do another round or not. There’s no right or wrong here, however the process felt for you is just fine.!A Note For Yoga Practitioners#If you’ve ever gotten into a yoga pose, or just a good, deep stretch, you know that you’re pretty much guaranteed to feel some body sensations. I think of yoga poses as metaphors for the life situations we find ourselves in and we can learn a lot about how to be with strong emotions from yoga. !Life demands flexibility, strength, caution, endurance, patience, and tenacity, just like yoga postures. And each posture brings up sensations in different parts of your body. When you feel these sensations, and arguably the point of doing the postures as a form of moving meditation is to create sensation to draw the mind inward, what do you do?!I’ll bet you soften around the tight area, easing back if sensation has moved into the realm of pain, breathe into the area, watch, and allow the sensation to play itself out. This is exactly what you’re doing in Focusing, when you locate the physical sensation in your body that draws your attention when you’re experiencing a strong emotion. !Yoga on the mat is a safe place to practice being present with strong sensation and to then take that presence off the mat and into your day to day life. If you have trouble with the Focusing technique as described here, you might try bringing the conscious intention of “being unconditionally present with sensation” into your yoga practice.!!Please Note: What is presented here is an adaptation of the original method of Focusing by Eugene T. Gendlin, combined with an adaptation of the Unconditional Presence work taught by John Welwood. It is not meant to represent their exact work.!


Eye Movement Technique


This technique, adapted from EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprogramming), developed by Francine Shapiro, PhD, is an excellent tool for controlling and eliminating thoughts that cause worry and anxiety, whether related to recent events or those in the distant past. The exercise has 5 easy steps and can be done anywhere, anytime. It is effective on all types of stress. It works by rerouting thoughts from the well worn groove of stressful thinking, creating new, less reactive neural pathways.!

Step 1 # # Identify the Stressful Thought#Focus on the thoughts, images, or memory that cause you stress or anxiety.!

Step 2# # Rate Your Stress Level#On a scale of 0 – 10, rate your stress level, with “0” indicating you are completely relaxed, to “10” indicating extreme stress or terror. The Eye Movement technique is most effective when your stress level is between 5 and 7, but not higher. The 5 – 7 rating indicates a moderate level of stress. If your stress level is higher, try using another relaxation technique before the Eye Movement. If it is less, take a moment to focus more intensely on the stressful thoughts, letting your mind go to the heart of your fears, without raising your stress level beyond a 5 - 7.!

Step 3# # Do the Eye Movement#Once your stress level is at 5 - 7, keep your head still and move your eyes rapidly from side to side between two set points, about 20 – 25 times. If seated, you can move your eyes from knee to knee, the two corners of the room, or by holding your hands up with the index fingers pointing up and moving your eyes back and forth to each finger. Of course, if you are in a crowd, simply pick two stationary objects some distance apart. If this would attract too much attention, lower your gaze or close your eyes (although this is a little less effective). It’s important to keep your head still and just move your eyes.!

As soon as you begin the movement, let go of thinking about the stressful event. Just let your mind be engaged in the rapid eye movement for 20-25 rounds.!

Step 4# # Rerate Your Stress Level#Once you finish, immediately check in with your level of stress and rerate it on a scale of 0 – 10, as before. The Eye Movement Exercise may significantly decrease your stress, down to a 4 or less, and could block the thoughts and images completely.!

Step 5# # Repeat Often#Repeat the steps above anytime stressful thoughts occur. The powerful effects of this technique are strengthened by repeated use. Don’t hesitate to repeat the exercise often as you first target a particularly stressful thought or image, and perhaps commit to using it as needed, daily, for one week. Then check in and decide if another week is needed. This technique will also reduce your overall stress and anxiety level with repeated use.

Stress Level: 7-9


Blow Out The Birthday Candles#

!!When your stress level is high, maybe at an 8 or 9, it can be very difficult to remember to employ one of the tools we’ve discussed so far. Perhaps you’re just crying hard and can’t catch your breath, or your thoughts are racing so fast you can’t think straight.!!This is the time to get out of your head and into your body to use a very powerful mechanism for lowering your anxiety level immediately — your breath.!!Specifically your EXHALATIONS.!!What happens when you start to stress out and enter into a fight-or-flight mode, is that you automatically breathe more shallowly, building energy in the body without releasing it. You’ve probably experienced this if you’ve been crying and you seem to take big gasping inhalations, which spiral your stress level higher and higher.!!The antidote to this is to breathe out completely, to empty your lungs, EXHALATIONS LONGER THAN INHALATIONS, and then work to take normal inhalations once you’ve reduced your overall energetic charge.!!The easiest way I’ve found for clients to remember this is to tell them to pretend they are blowing out birthday candles. Don’t worry about the inhalations, just blow out the candles several times, until you are breathing at a more normal rate. And blowing out birthday candles might stir up a positive memory for you as well, expanding your perspective on the current situation.!!This exercise slows down your breathing without you having to try to think your way through the situation, talk yourself down, rationalize, or be clearheaded.!!Once you’ve lowered your stress level a bit with this technique, you can employ the Eye Movement Technique or Focusing, as desire.!!


Stress Level: 7-9


Ask for Help#!

If you find yourself rating your stress at a 10, please reach out. Calling a friend can help you feel less alone and less like you’re about to fall apart. Calling a crisis hotline can provide you with immediate help from someone trained to assess your situation and give you guidance.!!If you suffer from constant, or paralyzing bouts of worry and anxiety, I urge you to get ongoing help from a licensed mental health professional. !!There’s no shame in needing support.!!How can you expect your own mind to figure out how to get out of its own habit of responding to life in a certain way? You can’t.!!The habit of reacting to stress a certain way is common to everyone. Some people get anxious, some angry, some sad. These are responses we developed as children and have been with us for a long time. Sometimes it takes working with a professional to show us new ways of coping with life’s stresses.!!As a life coach, I’m not trained to work with people who experience constant, or paralyzing bouts of worry and anxiety. I refer them to mental health professionals and work as a team member in that person’s journey to a calmer and less stressed way of living. Life coaching, nutritional counseling, and other complementary care techniques, such as homeopathy, acupuncture, or herbs, may be of great support to you in your healing process.!

!!!!


Stress Level: 10


What’s Next?#!

- Test and practice the tools until the ones that work

for you become a your go-to response, until they

become your habit.!

- Keep up your healthy lifestyle practices and self

care, as well as asking for support when you need

it.!

- Continue to work toward lowering your total stress

load.!

- Contact me for your FREE 30 minute Worry-Less ToolKit Support Call to get personal help

with choosing and using the tools. Email me at

[email protected] set up the call.#

!


mailto:[email protected]


About Annie Mascelli !My passion is to create unconditionally nonjudgmental places for you to grow, heal, learn, transform, and find your joy. I want you to discover who you truly are and embrace that unique person you discover, with all the beautiful messy humanness that comes with that. And I want you to have a fun and fulfilling work life that lights you up every day. I want your business to be successful, sustainable for you, and a transformative and happy place to work.!

As the founder and director of a school for the holistic healing arts, a life coach and spiritual director, a natural foods cook, massage therapist, and yoga and Tai Chi instructor, I’ve worked with 1000s of students and clients, empowering them to expand, heal, grow, and succeed.!!I would be honored to support you on your journey, too. Learn more about how we can work together.!

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~ Annie What Others Say “I have never met anyone with a gift for listening like Annie’s. Not just the patience it takes to listen, but the compassion it takes to HEAR what the person is saying (and not saying). Annie listens with her heart and mind and really gives the speaker space to get it all out.” !“Annie comes at life with a passion that is so big and authentic that others can't help but become inspired by it. She has a pioneering spirit. Her creativity makes her see things from a unique perspective and she is able to mold things into something brand new, so others can benefit!“ !"Annie authentically shares her life experiences, allowing me as a student to relate the work on a deeper level. She has an incredible ability to deliver sometimes dense, deep materials and yet relate it to me as the student in a way which I can digest and understand."

http://yourspiritedlife.com/lets-work-together-details/


Thank you for purchasing the Worry-Less ToolKit

A Holistic Approach To Reducing Your Worry and Anxiety#

by#

Annie Mascelli#

!

!

!!!!!!!!No part of this material may be used or distributed without written

permission. Copyright Annie Mascelli and YourSpiritedLife.com, 2015




a holistic approach to reducing your worry and anxiety · the worry-less toolkit is intended for...

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