a cv of failures - melanie stefanmelaniestefan.net/mela_24nov2017.pdf · 2017-11-22 · who am i?...
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A CV of failures
Melanie I Stefan
University of Edinburgh
24 November 2017
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 1 / 16
Who am I?
Who am I?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, Austria
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, Germany
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 3 / 16
Who am I?
Who am I?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, Austria
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, Germany
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 3 / 16
Who am I?
Who am I?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, Austria
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, Germany
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 3 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, US
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UK
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 4 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, US
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UK
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 4 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, US
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UK
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 4 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, Austria
Interrupted maths degree for a few years, took it upagain later with the Open University; took 13 years intotal to complete.
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, GermanySupervising postdoc suggested I should look for jobsoutside of science.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, AustriaInterrupted maths degree for a few years, took it upagain later with the Open University; took 13 years intotal to complete.
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, GermanySupervising postdoc suggested I should look for jobsoutside of science.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, AustriaInterrupted maths degree for a few years, took it upagain later with the Open University; took 13 years intotal to complete.
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, Germany
Supervising postdoc suggested I should look for jobsoutside of science.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Studied Mathematics and Genetics, 1999-2005University of Salzburg, AustriaInterrupted maths degree for a few years, took it upagain later with the Open University; took 13 years intotal to complete.
MSc research student, 2004Max Planck Institute for Developmental Biology,Tubingen, GermanySupervising postdoc suggested I should look for jobsoutside of science.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 5 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UK
Only PhD programme I was actually admitted to.
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, USApplied for four fellowships, received only one. Labexperiments did not go as planned.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UKOnly PhD programme I was actually admitted to.
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, USApplied for four fellowships, received only one. Labexperiments did not go as planned.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UKOnly PhD programme I was actually admitted to.
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, US
Applied for four fellowships, received only one. Labexperiments did not go as planned.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
PhD, 2005-2009EMBL-EBI, Cambridge, UKOnly PhD programme I was actually admitted to.
Postdoctoral Fellow, 2010-2013California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, USApplied for four fellowships, received only one. Labexperiments did not go as planned.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 6 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, USPrevious boss told me this would be the end of myacademic career.
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UKWell . . . So far, so good.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, US
Previous boss told me this would be the end of myacademic career.
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UKWell . . . So far, so good.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, USPrevious boss told me this would be the end of myacademic career.
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UKWell . . . So far, so good.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, USPrevious boss told me this would be the end of myacademic career.
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UK
Well . . . So far, so good.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
Who am I?
But who am I really?
Curriculum Fellow, 2013-2014Harvard Medical School, Boston, USPrevious boss told me this would be the end of myacademic career.
Edinburgh-Zhejiang Lecturer, since 2015University of Edinburgh, UKWell . . . So far, so good.
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 7 / 16
CVs of failure
Am I alone?
Scientific career failures (informal Google poll)
Rejected (and not wait-listed) from all 9 PhD programs I applied to ina given year
Not having the guts to enrol in an engineering degree because Ithought, and still think, I’m not good enough
I’ve failed to learn proper skills for giving a talk
The main chapter of my dissertation has been rejected by fivejournals and remains unpublished 7 years later
By many measures I did well. But somehow I just never got my headaround what it means to understand enough about a topic to make avaluable contribution. So, just sort of general failure from apersonality point of view to be able to play the game.
Got into an episode of depression while studying for a Masters coursethat was wrong for me. I did not finish the degree
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 8 / 16
CVs of failure
Am I alone?
Scientific career failures (informal Google poll)
Rejected (and not wait-listed) from all 9 PhD programs I applied to ina given year
Not having the guts to enrol in an engineering degree because Ithought, and still think, I’m not good enough
I’ve failed to learn proper skills for giving a talk
The main chapter of my dissertation has been rejected by fivejournals and remains unpublished 7 years later
By many measures I did well. But somehow I just never got my headaround what it means to understand enough about a topic to make avaluable contribution. So, just sort of general failure from apersonality point of view to be able to play the game.
Got into an episode of depression while studying for a Masters coursethat was wrong for me. I did not finish the degree
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 8 / 16
CVs of failure
Am I alone?
“Extracurricular” failures (informal Google poll)
I had flute lessons for five years or so, but every orchestra I have everauditioned with has rejected me.
Never managed to speak even a bit of Mandarin, after 4 months ofintensive classes in China
I do not find a partner despite the fact I would like to start a family.Giving up searching now.
Failed driver licence exam, twice.
Everything related with sports and competitive activities. Every timeI’m in a competition I just freak out and unintentionally give myworst performance
I have always loved painting and dancing but I do not have time tocarry out and practise these activities in time
I’ve failed at being a runner
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 9 / 16
CVs of failure
Am I alone?
“Extracurricular” failures (informal Google poll)
I had flute lessons for five years or so, but every orchestra I have everauditioned with has rejected me.
Never managed to speak even a bit of Mandarin, after 4 months ofintensive classes in China
I do not find a partner despite the fact I would like to start a family.Giving up searching now.
Failed driver licence exam, twice.
Everything related with sports and competitive activities. Every timeI’m in a competition I just freak out and unintentionally give myworst performance
I have always loved painting and dancing but I do not have time tocarry out and practise these activities in time
I’ve failed at being a [email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 9 / 16
CVs of failure
“A CV of failures”
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 10 / 16
CVs of failure
“A CV of failures”
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 11 / 16
CVs of failure
“A CV of failures”
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 12 / 16
Coping with failure
What would you tell a friend?
“Extracurricular” failures (informal Google poll)
I had flute lessons for five years or so, but every orchestra I have everauditioned with has rejected me.
Never managed to speak even a bit of Mandarin, after 4 months ofintensive classes in China
I do not find a partner despite the fact I would like to start a family.Giving up searching now.
Failed driver licence exam, twice.
Everything related with sports and competitive activities. Every timeI’m in a competition I just freak out and unintentionally give myworst performance
I have always loved painting and dancing but I do not have time tocarry out and practise these activities in time
I’ve failed at being a [email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 13 / 16
Coping with failure
What would you tell a friend?
Scientific career failures (informal Google poll)
Rejected (and not wait-listed) from all 9 PhD programs I applied to ina given year
Not having the guts to enrol in an engineering degree because Ithought, and still think, I’m not good enough
I’ve failed to learn proper skills for giving a talk
The main chapter of my dissertation has been rejected by fivejournals and remains unpublished 7 years later
By many measures I did well. But somehow I just never got my headaround what it means to understand enough about a topic to make avaluable contribution. So, just sort of general failure from apersonality point of view to be able to play the game.
Got into an episode of depression while studding for a Masters coursethat was wrong for me. I did not finish the degree
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 14 / 16
Coping with failure
Job applications: The spreadsheet of doom
You get five interviews, youget a job.
Caltech career talk
You get 30 rejections, weopen a bottle of champagne.
My mum
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 15 / 16
Coping with failure
Job applications: The spreadsheet of doom
You get five interviews, youget a job.
Caltech career talk
You get 30 rejections, weopen a bottle of champagne.
My mum
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 15 / 16
Coping with failure
Coping with failure
Get perspective
Know it’s not just you
Talk to people
Reflect
Make it a game
Care for yourself
Re-define failure
Learn from yourexperience
Do what makes you happy
Niki K. [CC BY-SA 3.0] viaWikimedia Commons
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 16 / 16
Coping with failure
Coping with failure
Get perspective
Know it’s not just you
Talk to people
Reflect
Make it a game
Care for yourself
Re-define failure
Learn from yourexperience
Do what makes you happy
Niki K. [CC BY-SA 3.0] viaWikimedia Commons
[email protected] (�MelanieIStefan) A CV of failures 24 November 2017 16 / 16