Interpersonal Attraction and “LOVE”

Liking, Loving, Leaving and Hating: Backman’s Model of

Relationships

• Stage 1: From “no contact” to “unilateral awareness”– The key importance of propinquity– Additional factors

• Cultural restraints

• Familial restraints

• Individual factors (sexuality, disability, etc)

Backman’s 4 Stages (cont.)

• Stage 2: Sampling and estimation– Begins with first impressions

– Then comes identity bargaining (impression management)

– The comes the compromise process• Prospectives are usually similar in race, age, class, etc.

• Prospectives are similar in physical atttractiveness

– Normative Constraints can re-emerge at this stage.

Backman’s 4 Stages (cont.)

• Stage 3: Social Penetration– Self-disclosure– Interdependence– Emotional convergence

• Changes in self-attributions: “We” instead of ‘I”

• Reinforcement and learning: partners train one another

Backman’s 4 Stages (end)• Stage 4: Relationships are maintained, or

relationships dissolve. Why?– Changes in costs and rewards

• Individual: “I am more successful than you now!”

• Relational: “We’re bored with one another”

• Situational: “I can’t support you financially anymore”

• Cultural: “It’s okay for me to work outside the home now!”

– Interpersonal Processes leading to termination• Reciprocity

• Questioning of motives

• “Going public”

• Unequal involvement