5 Lessons for Business Life

Lesson 1: A man gets into the shower just as his wife is leaving it – the doorbell rings.

The wife throws a towel around herself and goes downstairs.

When she opens the door, the neighbor, Bob, is outside. Before she can say anything, Bob says “I’ll give you $800 if you drop the towel.”

She thinks about it a second and then drops the towel, standing naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds Bob gives her the $800 and leaves. The woman puts the towel back on and goes upstairs.

When she comes into the bathroom, her husband asks, ”Who was it?”

“It was Bob.” she replied.

”Perfect”, says the husband, ”Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

The Moral: If you exchange important information about outstanding debts and risks with shareholders, you can possibly avoid unnecessary exposure.

Lesson 2:A priest offers a nun a ride.

As she gets in she crosses her legs, so as to reveal part of her leg.

The priest almost wrecks. After gaining control of the car again, he lets a hand slide up her leg.

The nun says, ”Father, remember Psalms 129”

The priest removes his hand, but when he shifts gear he again lets his hand slide up her leg.

Again the nun says, ”Father, remember Psalms 129”

The priest apologizes, ”Excuse me sister, the flesh is weak,”

When they arrive at the monastery, they went their separate ways.

When the priest gets to the church, he rushes in and looks up Psalms 129.

It reads, ”Go forward and search higher and you will experience heaven.”

The Moral: If you don’t stay well informed at your job, you will fail to notice vast possibilities.

Lesson 3:A salesman, an office worker and the boss are on their way to lunch, when they find a magic lamp.

They rub it and a genie appears.

The genie says, ”I’ll give you each one wish,”

”Me first, me first!” says the office worker. ”I want to go to the Bahamas, sail around on a speedboat and never think about life’s problems.” – POOF – she’s gone.

”Now me, now me!” says the salesman. “I want to go to Hawaii – relax on the beach with my own personal masseur, have an endless number of Piña Coladas – and be with the love of my life.” – POOF – he’s gone.

"OK, it’s your turn" says the genie to the boss

The boss says, “I want those two back at the office after lunch!”

The Moral: Always let the boss speak first!!

Lesson 4:A crow is sitting in a tree and lounging around all day.

A rabbit asks him, ”Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answers, ”Well, … why not?”

The rabbit sits on the ground under the crow and takes it easy.

A fox pounces on the rabbit and eats him.

The Moral: To be able to sit and do nothing, you have to be pretty high up.

Lesson 5:A turkey stood and talked with a bull.

”I really wish I could come up in the top of that tree.” sighs the turkey, “but I just don’t have the energy to do it.”

”Why not eat some of my chips?” answered the bull. “They’re full of energy.”

The turkey ate a little piece of a bull chip and found he had the energy to reach the lowest branch on the tree.

The next day he ate a little more of a bull chip and reached the next branch.

Finally – after 14 days – he sat proudly at the top of the tree.

It wasn’t long before he was noticed by a farmer, who shot the turkey down from the tree.

The Moral: "Bullshit" might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.