5 keys to finding your passion

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    5 Keys to Finding Your Passion

    A guide to fguring out the calling that only you arequalifed to ulfll.

    We long to count.

    We want to matter to the world. We long to make a difference. We get bored,tired, even depressed by routine and monotony. Were desperate forsignificance. Were searching for acknowledgment. We beam when someonesays, You matter. We seek praise, accolades and awards, but somehow oncewe achieve them, they feel empty and we move on to another desperate searchfor the next fix that will affirm our worth.

    an you relate!

    You are specifically designed to impact the world in a way that no one else can."hats the influence that has been given to you and to no one else. You have aspecific purpose, a calling that only you are #ualified to fulfill.

    YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TOIMPACT THE WORLD IN A WAY THAT NO

    ONE ELSE CAN.$ut what does it look like! %ow do we discover it! %ow do we find passion andpurpose in living out our influence!

    %ere are a few ideas&

    1. Conduct a Self-Inventory.

    'tudy yourself. (t seems elementary, but life adds layers that you begin toabsorb and adapt to, things that have come to define you without your intention.

    $efore long, youve lost sight of what is truly uni#ue and different about you.

    What are the gifts and talents you possess! What experiences andopportunities have shaped your life thus far! "his collection of gifts, talents,experiences and opportunities is uni#ue to you. (ts what begins to define andset you apart.

    "ake time and reflect on these nuances that make you uni#ue.

    2. Build a Plan.

    )uch like an architect must create detailed designs for a pro*ect, we must takethe elements of our self+inventory and build a plan with them. What are the

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    extraordinary moments spread across time, but that in between those peak

    experiences, theres a lot of ordinary, everyday grind.

    "here are trashcans to empty, laundry to sort 2and if were feeling especiallymotivated, maybe even put away3. ars must be registered. 4orms filled out.

    arrier plans chosen. We move through our routine day in and day out, packedwith little moments that may often feel unbearably ordinary.

    5ooking around in all the mess we can convince ourselves that other people areliving in the more we dream of while we drag our feet through the dull and lessinteresting.

    (n their song, ome way, 6esus ulture sings about the invitation of 1od,ome away with me. (ts going to be wild. (ts going to be great.

    -eally! (ts going to be wild! lot of people have *umped on board and arent

    feeling the rush. ( believe its true and that 6esus offers the abundant life %ecame for us to have, but sometimes its hard to see.

    Its oing to Be #ild

    (ts hard to find the life while fighting to finish school and pay the bills with night*obs7 and there isnt a lot of adventure for the parent changing 89 diapers beforelunch. "hat wild story we were promised might seem distant for the person whospends each morning in traffic only to return to the gridlock at : p.m.

    "his tension between the passionate narrative we talk about and the very

    normal world we exist in isnt something to be ignored. (ts a tension that shouldtell us something, serving as a flag to wave us down and read*ust ourperspective.

    THIS TENSION BETWEEN THEPASSIONATE NARRATIVE WE TALK

    ABOUT AND THE VERY NORMAL WORLDWE EXIST IN ISNT SOMETHING TO BE

    IGNORED.

    yes to See

    6esus once had a conversation with the 8; about the people who didnt get it."hey were the ones who couldnt see the big picture of the

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    >erhaps this tension that we find/living in a normal world full of dirt and painand tedious movement while knowing that we were also made for more/maybe it is resolved when we pray for, and choose to have, eyes to see whatthe disciples saw ... not *ust in those rare retreat moments when we catch aglimpse of glory, but eyes to see it always.

    When we wake up daily with a full awareness of how powerful 1od is and howdeeply %e loves us, the ordinary becomes saturated with life. nd it is wild.

    (ts wild because not only do we breathe in and out under this perspective of1ods sovereignty, but we also remember that this incredible 1od invites us intothe enormous story %e is writing.

    ( often ask my ? year old to help me cook. ( dont do it because ( need hisassistance. (n fact, it would be easier and more efficient if ( took care of itmyself. $ut ( invite him to help because ( love him. (ts the same interaction

    between 1od and us. %e calls us into %is redemptive work not because %e islost without us, but because %e loves us and is offering us a role in the story."hat is the otherness we dream of. (ts oxygen on a fire that would otherwiseburn out.

    %aving eyes to see this wild reality comes down to where we set our ga@e. Weeither focus on the grind, letting ourselves drown in that sink of dirty dishes orbe crushed below the weight of monotonous tasks, or we choose to live aboveit. We choose to focus our eyes higher and contemplate the 5ords glory 2;orinthians ?&8A3.

    %ow can we do that in the midst of exhaustion and disappointment! %ere are afew places to start.

    1. %e/e/,er #&at it 0eans to Beco/e 0ore in C&ristscono/y.

    We may sometimes forget that to be more does not mean to be bigger. (tdoesnt mean more followers, prestigious titles, higher salaries or less annoyingwork. "o be more first means lowering ourselves to the ground in a humility thatacknowledges the dust from which we came7 and from this vantage point, withour face on the earth, the story explodes with possibility and mystery.

    2. ont nderesti/ate t&e I/4ortance of !rdinary 0o/ents.

    "he repetition of the day+to+day matters because change often happens in theplaces we most easily brush off. We develop eyes to see when we practice thediscipline of contentment and gratitude, and we begin to find that thoseseemingly insignificant places are soaked with 1od and that this is where thesimple becomes extraordinary.

    THE REPETITION OF THE DAY-TO-DAY

    MATTERS BECAUSE CHANGE OFTEN

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    HAPPENS IN THE PLACES WE MOSTEASILY BRUSH OFF.

    3. Cut !ut t&e /4ty Fillers.

    "he greatest distractions keeping us from having eyes that see are self+inflicted.4acebook, television, phones, scrolling the (nternet looking for something new/at face value they are harmless, but when we run to them out of restlessnessand use them to satisfy a hunger for something deeper, its like eating potatochips when what we really need is a balanced meal. (ts empty calories for oursoul, and over time, we feel the effect of that malnourishment.

    $. et Your 'ands irty.

    When 6esus spoke with the disciples about the people who didnt get it, ( haveto wonder what part of that was because for the observing crowd, it was aspectator sport. (f we are going to live in an awareness of 1ods power andredemptive work in the world, we have to get our hands dirty. We have to roll upour sleeves and do more than attend a service and *oin a small group.

    6esus sent the disciples out and then they kept moving. "hey never settled intoa church routine that centered around them. (f we accept the invitation to be apart of what 1od is doing, we capture the vision of a

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    (f thats the case, how do you go to the next level in your walk with hrist! %owdo you revive your faith!

    Cne of the images that helped me develop a deeper understanding of faithcame from )artin 5uther, the 8:th century 1erman scholar who ignited the

    >rotestant -eformation. %e said that faith, when correctly understood, leaves usfeeling cemented to hrist.

    "his is significant, because we often think of faith solely as something that6esus hrist brings into our life. (nstead of us being cemented to 6esus, wecement %im to us. %e goes where ( go, rather than the other way around. $utultimately, faith means ( am no longer in control of my life. ( am cemented tohrist, and to what hrist values and to what hrist says. What 6esus hristdoes and where 6esus hrist goes now becomes the dominant narrative of mylife. When 6esus leads me into the unknown, ( go into the unknown with %im. (cant not go/( am cemented to him by faith.

    FAITH MEANS I AM NO LONGER INCONTROL OF MY LIFE. I AM CEMENTEDTO CHRIST, AND TO WHAT CHRISTVALUES AND TO WHAT CHRIST SAYS.

    %ere are five ways that fully cementing yourself to 6esus will *ump+start yourfaith&

    1. Ste4 Into Your Fears

    Want to guess what the most repeated command in the $ible is! 4ear not. (t isrepeated in the $ible ?D: times/once for every day of the year. "his confirmssomething we already know in our gut& "here is no such thing as great faithwithout first experiencing great fear. "hey live right next to each other.

    6esus will lead you out of your comfort @one and into the unknown, and you willhave to rely on %im at every step of the way to navigate these new uncertainrealities. With each new chapter of faith come new experiences of the abundant

    life in hrist. $ut with each new chapter also come new fears. 4aith in 6esushelps us to reali@e that fear isnt a prison that we are trapped in, but a pathwaytoward greater freedom in hrist.

    2. #al( #it& od

    (n the 1arden of den we see the most beautiful picture of spiritual intimacy inthe whole $ible/1od would walk with dam and ve during the cool of eachday. While their betrayal would create lots of heartache, it never muted 1odsdesire to continue %is pursuit of us. "he rest of the $ible shows how faith inhrist allows us to enter boldly into the presence of 1od. (ts what >aul refers to

    in ; orinthians :&E when he says we can walk by faith. 4aith in 6esus leadsus an invigorated and intimate walk with 1od.

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    "he reoccurring message of the $ible is 1ods desire to not only mold us, but tobe in intimate relationship with us. "his is a great reminder that our ongoingfaith *ourney is not only formational/it is ultimately relational.

    3. Be 'is #itness

    (n cts 8&A 6esus told %is disciples that when they accepted the mission ofbecoming a witness to %is goodness and grace, the %oly 'pirit would comedown on them with power. (n todays day and age, hrist followers often feelfearful about coming across as pushy or intolerant. 'ome of that is *ustified, butwe can easily swing the pendulum too far the other way. (f we stop listening forthe ways that 6esus pushes us out of our comfort @ones as witnesses, we alsoforego the opportunity to experience the dynamic power of 1od.

    $. )ct ustly

    FAITH IS NOT MEANT TO BE ANINDIVIDUAL SPORT.

    6esus identified %imself as the Cne who has been sent to proclaim freedom forthe prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free25uke B&8A3. (f this is the 6esus that we are cemented to by faith, how will we notfollow %im into these same activities! "here have been few things that havestretched and challenged my faith more than becoming a student of historicalin*ustice and an active participant in the ministries of racial healing and *ustice.

    5. ee4en Your Co//unity

    4aith is not meant to be an individual sport. (ntimacy with 1od is crucial, butwalking with others as we walk with 1od is *ust as biblically emphasi@ed as ourindividual connection with hrist. Cne of my favorite #uotes on communitycomes from 0ietrich $onheoffers masterpiece, Life Together. When talkingabout how badly hristians need each other in community he says, "he hristin their own hearts is weaker than the hrist in the word of other hristians.

    (n other words, if we want to have our faith revived, we need to be in close

    community with other hrist followers. You need the hrist in others and theyneed the hrist in you. 1od has designed us in such a way where we can onlygo so far alone. 6esus calls us to walk intimately with 1od, both as individualsand with each other.

    6esus is the 1ood 'hepherd, and %e has come to lead us into fullness of life byfaith. 5et us grab a hold of %im with everything we have, trusting %im to lead usto where we need to go.

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    'o" +o o Singleness #ell

    ! ways to cultiate contentment and make the mosto being single.

    (n a society where everything seems to revolve around finding the love of your

    life and updating your relationship status on 4acebook, it can be challenging to

    feel content in a season of singleness. $ut that doesnt mean its not possible.

    ontentment is all about a shift in your perspective/a daily decision to trust1od in all circumstances and to see %im at work in every chapter of your life.%ere are a few keys to contentment during a season of singleness&

    Cultivate a 'eart of ratitude

    Your praise and thanksgiving is a powerful weapon. (nstead of focusing on whatyou lack, remember and acknowledge all that you have. $y doing so, you canfight those feelings of discouragement and give 1od the opportunity to remindyou of %is favor and many blessings.

    INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON WHAT YOULACK, REMEMBER AND ACKNOWLEDGE

    ALL THAT YOU HAVE.'ingleness is not 1ods way of depriving you or punishing you. 0ont get socaught up in hoping and searching for a significant other that you forget aboutall the blessings 1od has given you/in other important relationships in yourlife, in the talents %es given you, even in whatever freedoms you are able toen*oy as a single person. (n 8 "hessalonians :&8A, it says that we should Fgivethanks in all circumstances7 for this is the will of 1od in hrist 6esus for you.

    Invest in Your Fa/ily6Friend %elations&i4s

    herish every moment, conversation and experience with the people you love.lthough family and friends will always be a part of your life, relationshipdynamics change when that Fspecial someoneF enters the scene. s a single,you have the ability to dedicate your time and primary focus to nurturing thesefamily and friend relationships. $y looking beyond our own personalgratification, our vision is cleared and our awareness of others needsincreases.

    Pursue Your od-iven rea/s

    -egardless of your relationship status, go after your goals, dreams and 1od+

    given aspirations. 0o not waitG Cne of the biggest mistakes singles often make

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    is waiting to chase their dreams until they have someone to do so with them. (ndoing so, they miss out on the wonderful things this season has to offer.

    0ont put your ambitions and passions on hold until you find someone. -ather,as you dedicate your time and energy to fulfilling 1ods call on your life, %e will

    bless you with a teammate along the way/someone who will support yourendeavors and challenge you to become all that you can be.

    0aintain 'ig& Standards

    "he longer youre single, the more tempting it can be to *ust date whoeverexpresses interest, even if you know youre not compatible. 0ont settle forsecond best or get caught up in the wrong relationships out of desperation.Cbviously, theres no perfect person who will meet every one of yourexpectations, but you shouldnt compromise your core standards.

    Kee4 4 S4iritual Practices

    -egardless of your relationship status, things like prayer, time in the Word and*ournaling are important for keeping your spiritual life healthy. >rayer not onlybrings you peace, but it reminds you of who is in control. We often take thisresponsibility upon ourselves as though we have the capability to orchestrateevery tiny detail of our lives. %owever, the truth of the matter is 1od has askedus to surrender our plans to %im/trusting that %e knows best.

    (nstead of spending your time worrying, dive into 'cripture and allow 1odsWord to replenish your soul. ( like to think of 1od and %is words as the ultimate

    power source. When we plug into this power source, we receive %is *oy,strength and wisdom.

    Surrender Control

    IF GOD KNIT YOU TOGETHER IN YOURMOTHERS WOMB, THEN HE MUSTUNDERSTAND YOU BETTER THAN

    ANYONE ELSE.(n a season of singleness, it is easy to doubt 1od, especially when we cant seethe big picture. (t can be tempting to think that its your responsibility to go outand find someone. $ut as you practice patience, be encouraged and know thatas you wait and seek 1od, %e is working behind the scenes and orchestratingyour larger story. %e is shaping you and maturing you into the man or woman%e has called you to be. (f 1od knit you together in your mothers womb, then%e must understand you better than anyone else. 0o you trust %im with yourfuture! 0o you believe %e knows not only what is best for you, but the timing inwhich it will all pan out!

    ncourage and Serve !t&ers

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    0uring this season, 1od has given you tasks and responsibilities to serve andprovide lasting hope to those in need. Whether serving on the mission field, onyour school and church campus or in your local community, you have a uni#uepurpose and contribution to society. very act of kindness, loving embrace orword of encouragement makes a difference in the global community. hanging

    the world begins with you.

    1od=s plan for your life is beyond anything you could ever dream up on yourown, and %is plan for you doesnt begin or end with you finding a spouse. 5et%im turn your worries and anxieties into contentment for the present and greatexcitement and anticipation for what lays ahead. 1ive 1od the pen and let %imwrite your story. (t is going to be ama@ing.

    +&e Socially )cce4ta,le Sin

    t#s eerywhere in our society and churches$ yetalmost neer talked about.

    )ost hristians today like to say that all sins are e#ual in the eyes of 1od, that

    there is no scale of less or worse sins, that a white lie or a homicide alike would

    have been enough to re#uire hrist to die on the cross. We say this in theory,

    but in practice, we know that a white lie wont get you kicked off the church

    leadership team. nd a homicide likely will.

    (n practice, there are some sins that are socially acceptable, even in thehurch. "heres one sin in particular that has pervaded our society andchurches so silently we hardly give it a second thought, and that is the constanthunt for more over what is enough. Cr, in an uglier terminology, what is knownas gluttony.

    When ( think about gluttony, ( think about my desire to shove a do@en donutsinto my mouth and wash them down with chocolate milk. Cr perhaps its mytendency to mindlessly feed chips to a stomach thats no longer hungry. )any ofus can look at the sin of gluttony and think, "hats not really my struggle. Cr,we think, Whats the big deal! fter all, most congregations have compulsive

    over+eaters among them, and theyre not considered less spiritual orbackslidden for it.

    $ut gluttony has never been merely an addiction to food. nd if we look at it inits original definition and context, gluttony becomes far closer to home thanwed like to admit.

    AT ITS SIMPLEST, GLUTTONY IS THESOULS ADDICTION TO EXCESS.

    t its simplest, gluttony is the souls addiction to excess. (t occurs when tasteoverrules hunger, when want outweighs need. nd in merica, where upsi@ing

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    has always been part of the merican dream, its often difficult to distinguishwhat is hard+earned achievement and what is indulgent excess. (n this sense,even the most athletic and toned among us can be gluttons. ny of us can be.

    ll desire for excess stems from a lack of satisfaction. (m not satisfied with my

    portion/be it the portion on my plate, in the marriage bed, or in my bankaccount. $ecause (m not satisfied with my portion, ( then seek a greaterportion. $ut because every portion is a finite part of a finite whole, ( amconstantly chasing an excess that can never satisfy.

    "his is the story of 1enesis ?. What was the sin in the 1arden of den if not adesire for excess! dam and ve were given beautiful sights and beautifultastes in the absence of shame, but what made the garden a paradise was notany of this. (t was a paradise because 1od walked in the cool of the day withthem. nd yet, dam and ves downfall was because they deemed even thisas not enough. "hey werent content with their portion of paradise, and they

    reached out/to disastrous conse#uence/for more.

    5ike them, we are ravenous beings. We embody bottomless cravings thatconstantly paw at the next attractive thing. Cur appetites are as strong as death,>roverbs ;E&;9 tells us. We are always on the move for the next thing that cansatisfy and slake our restless thirst. "his endless pull is the engine of gluttony. (tpropels our souls ever toward excess.

    nd yet, the desire for more is not inherently bad, but it is often misdirected.What we need is a relentless appetite for the divine. We need a holyravenousness. Cur craving souls can turn and become enthralled by a

    goodness that is found in the presence of an all+glorious 1od. "here is only oneinfinite source of satisfaction that can satisfy our bottomless cravings.

    taste of %is supreme grace is enough to lure an appetite long held prisoner tolesser portions. (f stolen water is sweet, lavished grace is sweeter.

    nd heres a strange side effect& "he more we drink deeply of the endless loveof an infinite 1od, the more our tastes will be changed. "he deep bright marrowof grace will drip down into the restless souls of the ever+hungry.

    THE DESIRE FOR MORE IS NOTINHERENTLY BAD, BUT IT IS OFTENMISDIRECTED. WHAT WE NEED IS ARELENTLESS APPETITE FOR THE DIVINE.WE NEED A HOLY RAVENOUSNESS.

    (n pursuit of lesser portions, our tastes have dulled. Weve become numb to ourreal hungers, filling them with lesser fare. $ut when we return to the source, we

    taste anew.

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    >salm ?B&A challenges us to see the difference for ourselves& "aste and seethat the 5ord is good. ( think >aul understood this verse when he told thepeople at 5ystra that 1od gives food and gladness so that our hearts would turnfrom vain things and turn to the ultimate satisfaction of who 1od is 2cts 8B&8:+8E3.

    onse#uently, if 1od has ordained that %is goodness can be tasted and seen2and, ( would submit, heard, smelled and touched3, this has at least two directimplications. 4irst, it means that every finite pleasure and satisfaction is meantto point us toward the infinite pleasure and satisfaction of 1od. )y admirationfor a sunset, then, need not stop at that hori@on, rather it can curve upward intopraise and gratitude. 'econd, it means that if our desire for FmoreF is misplaced,then certainly it can be redirected to something good as well.

    (s the desire for excess sinful! (t depends on whether the soul is addicted to afinite excess or an infinite excess. 0o we ever think of gorging on 1od! 0o we

    relish the chance to spend a few more minutes in prayer, hidden away from theworld for *ust one more taste of the divine! When was the last time we lingeredlong over the pages of an open $ible because we *ust couldnt stop admiring thehoneyed flavor of an ancient truth! (f the $ible is the story of the only infinitegood, why do we spend so much of our lives at lesser tables!

    We hristians have so tamed our en*oyment in 1od that we cannot fathom whatsuch thrill+seeking would even look like. 4easting on 1od is as foreign to mostmericans as an empty stomach. Why cant we fix our souls on the onlygoodness who can handle our cravings! Why do we chase the more mildflavors of money, food and sex!

    (f only we would not stifle our gluttonous cravings, but turn them in the rightdirection. (f only we would feast on an infinite 1od who offers fullness of life,rather than these lesser tables with the far milder flavors of money, sex, foodand power.

    s 1eorge )ac0onald put it, 'ometimes ( wake and, lo, ( have forgot. 'leepis like a reset button and my hunger is misdirected often. ( think (m hungry forthe finite, but (m really hungry for 1od. "o remember, we need to taste daily,deeply and constantly of the goodness of 1od. 'o let us turn together, and feastrightly.

    +&e %eal %eason #e )void +i/e #it& od

    A desire to spend time with %od is tied to an accurateperspectie on who &e is.

    ( rolled over and hit the snoo@e button on my alarm for the third time.

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    ( had planned on getting up a little earlier than usual in order to spend sometime reading my $ible, but, like many other mornings, in the fight between extrasleep and good intentions, sleep won out.

    'ure, ( was tired. ( probably needed that extra sleep. $ut ( somehow didnt see

    time with 1od as something ( needed.

    )aybe you can relate.

    (n the daily struggle to balance different areas of our lives and the limited timewe have, almost everything else wins out over spending time with 1od.

    (n theory, we all know that time with 1od is important. %aving a thriving #uiettime is something we aspire to, like all those pro*ects on >interest that we *ustknow well get around to when theres some space in our schedules, when wefinally get our lives in order.

    $ut getting our lives in order is always a future possibility, a place even themost organi@ed among us never really reach. 4or now, #uiet time is somethingwe s#uee@e into our schedules intermittently when we get a few minutes.

    We dont really see it as avoiding time with 1od, we *ust think that betweeneverything else we have to do, we dont have time. When we really look at ourlives, though, we know thats not true. Were all busy, but we could set asidesome time. Why dont we!

    WHEN WE VIEW GOD AS ANYTHINGLESS THAN WHO HE IS, OUR DESIRE

    AND MOTIVATION TO SPEND TIME WITHHIM WANES.

    "he truth is that often, deep down, we lose sight of who 1od really is and whowe are in light of that. When we view 1od as anything less than who %e is, ourdesire and motivation to spend time with %im wanes. "here are many ways thisplays out, for example&

    od Is 7ot a %ecord Kee4er.

    When we see 1od as our record keeper instead of our loving father, spendingtime with %im becomes a chore.

    (n our sinful, fallen state, its easy to slip into seeing 1od as a distant beingkeeping tabs on our behavior. "his can make time with 1od into something wefeel we have to do in order to be a good hristian, which can either make usdo it for the wrong reasons, or run in the opposite direction.

    Cur default is to want to earn our salvation, and when we slip into legalism,reading the $ible and praying become something to check off our checklist to

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    prove to 1od that we love %im and deserve %is love in return. (nstead ofviewing $ible reading as a time to soak in the truth of 1ods love and grace, wesearch for more rules to follow to please %im.

    We let our own religious fervor dictate how we feel about ourselves and others.

    When were well+disciplined, we feel superior to those who arent having regular#uiet times. $ut then, when we miss a few days of reading, we think 1od is mador disappointed. 5ike dam and ve hiding in the garden, we run from 1od outof shame.

    #&en "e dont vie" od as good8 "e run fro/ 'i/.

    ll of us have areas of our lives that we *ust really dont want to give over to1od. )aybe its a particular sin pattern, maybe its something we really desirethat were afraid %e wont give us or will take away from us/a certain careerpath or way of life, a relationship, our health.

    'urrendering our whole lives to 1od is terrifying if we dont really believe 1od isall powerful and wants the best for us/even when whats best is painful. 'oinstead, we interact with him in a guarded manner, not being honest about howwe really feel.

    $ut the truth is, 1od is nothing less than our loving father who delights in us,wants to spend time with us and wants the best for us. %e sent %is only son todie for our sins not to simply give us a clean start, but so that we can be with%im and draw near to %im.

    (f we really saw 1od like that and felt these truths, wouldnt we want tostrengthen our relationship with %im!

    'o maybe the answer to our failing to spend time with 1od isnt to *ust resolveto be better, to hop on another $ible reading plan and try harder to accomplish.)aybe it starts with re+examining and ad*usting how you are viewing 1od andyourself. %ere are a few ideas of what to do when you find yourself getting toobusy to spend time with 1od.

    Be &onest "it& od a,out &o" you feel.

    onfess to 1od that youre mad at %im or that you feel like youre doing finewithout %im right now or that youre fighting for control. sk %im to give youmore of a desire for %im. fter all, its ultimately 1od %imself who spurs us tocry out to %im. "hat means that if youre aware you should be spending moretime with %im, %es already working in you.

    THE TRUTH IS, GOD IS NOTHING LESSTHAN OUR LOVING FATHER WHODELIGHTS IN US, WANTS TO SPEND

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    TIME WITH US AND WANTS THE BESTFOR US.

    se t&e ti/e you &ave.

    Wanting to be close to 1od is not our default, so we are going to have toresolve and fight our natural tendencies in order to do it even when we don=tfeel like it. nd you cant really get in #uality time with 1od by *ust getting up fiveminutes earlier than usual. Youre going to have to intentionally set aside sometime in order to really dig in.

    $ut also, you dont have to wait until those appointed times to talk to 1od. (nfact, something like turning off your radio to spend your commute to work inprayer may increase your desire to set aside more time later.

    Figure out t&e ,est "ay for you.

    'ome people need a $ible reading plan. Cthers find plans too restrictive. 'omepeople need to read and pray in the morning. 'ome people work better in themiddle of the day or at night. 0ont let others ideas of how you should bespending time with 1od make it into *ust a routine or chore.

    ny relationship takes maintaining on both ends, but even if you havent talkedto 1od in years, %es not waiting to shame you or ask accusingly where haveyou been! %e is always faithful and loving, even when we arent.

    +o4 19 %elations&i4 Killers

    he biggest threats to watch out or in your marriage.

    Were getting a divorce, she explained, with a look of disappointment on her

    face.

    %er tone of voice changed as she tried to look on the bright side. $ut its for thebest. "hings havent been working out for the past few years. Were *ust toodifferent.

    %er words echoed in my mind for hours after our conversation ended. ( thoughtabout the list of differences my husband and ( possess. We are sodifferent inso many ways. ould it really be possible that a couple can be too different tohave a thriving marriage! "he thought didnt sit well with me.

    s a >rofessional ounselor, every day ( see couples who come into therapywith their marriage on life+support. $ut their struggles often have nothing to do

    with the trauma of affairs, addictions or abuse. (nstead, they are dying a ratherslow and painful death.

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    >hrases like, Were too different or Weve grown apart or 5ife has *ust gottenthe best of us sound so innocent, yet are extremely lethal.

    "here are so many factors that can get in the way of a good marriage, but often,they are the small, unnoticed things that make their way in. (n order to make

    sure our marriages survive and thrive, here are some relationship killers everycouple should be on the lookout for&

    1. Fa/ily Priorities

    THERES NO SUCH THING AS LIVING INNEUTRAL, BECAUSE DRIFTING HAPPENSTHE MOMENT WE STOP MOVING

    FORWARD."he top relationship stress for most couples has little to do with theirrelationship and much to do with the relationships they are surrounded by. "herole of your parents, in+laws, siblings and friends all shift the moment you say (do, because when you *oin together as one, youve chosen to put your spouseabove all others. "oo many marriages are struggling simply due to a lack ofpriorities/finding themselves pulled by everyone else in every which way,except toward each other. %ealthy marriages learn to choose one anotherabove all others.

    2. *ac( of Co//unication

    (ts true that the average couple invests in #uality conversation only a fewminutes a day. (ts easy to let life get busy and stop connecting with the one youlove. $ut theres no such thing as living in neutral, because drifting happens themoment we stop moving forward. "ake the time to connect and communicatewith your spouse often.

    3. Stress

    (ts so easy to take our stress out on our spouse. We can get into the habit of

    holding things in until were in the safety and comfort of our home, and then weexplode. 4rom financial problems, to illness, *ob+loss and grief, healthy couplesallow their stress to pull them together, by relying on each other, sharing it withone another and carrying the load together.

    $. +ec&nology

    ( read a blog post recently about a guy getting a divorce ... except this guychose to divorce his phone. $ut it makes sense, because so many of us carrythis dangerous relationship killer right in our back pocket. (n the world oftechnology cra@ed, i>hone carrying, 4acebook posting mania, its no *oke thatwe find our time slipping away into the inanimate instead of investing it into theintimate. Hnplug, disconnect, shut down/and invest in your spouse.

    http://truelovedates.com/11-signs-you-need-a-break-from-social-media/http://truelovedates.com/11-signs-you-need-a-break-from-social-media/
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    5. Selfis&ness

    )arriage is one huge, ongoing, life lesson in unselfishness. nd well eitherallow the experience to make us better/or well grow bitter. >utting someonefirst is an incredibly hard task because our flesh is wired to choose self.

    ach time we say yes to ourselves, were saying no to our marriage, becausemarriage is not about %im vs. %er, its about We vs. )e.

    :. nforgiveness

    4orgiving and forgetting are not one in the same. When we fail to reali@e that,we will hold on to our hurts for a very long time. nd eventually those hurtsbegin wreaking havoc on our lives from the inside out. $ut forgiveness is notabout excusing the other person, its about freeing ourselves to receive healingfrom the 1od who forgives us time and time and time again.

    ;. *oose Boundaries

    We tend to think about offensive play in marriage, forgetting that defensivestrategy is *ust as important. We can be doing all the right things, while stillfailing to keep out the things that are harmful. 0raw a circle around yourmarriage, and protect itby guarding your emotions, your interactions, and theway you spend your time.

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    things from your spouse, now is the time to seek truth and confession7 becausea relationship riddled with dishonesty is no relationship at all.

    19. Pride

    ( am my biggest marriage problem is the theme of >aul "ripps work in the fieldof relationships. "o be able to look in, then, is the greatest step towardnourishing a relationship/to be aware enough to recogni@e and restore yourflaws and shortcomings before fixating on those of your spouse. $ut the sting ofpride can make that really hard to do. (ts so much easier to point the finger andto shift the blame. $ut the moment you let go of your responsibility, youve let goof your relationship/because no matter what the issue at hand& it always takestwo.

    (ts time to consider where youve let your guard down before these sly intrudersmake their way in. )ay 1od continue to give you the wisdom to recogni@e these

    patterns and to lookout for the small stuff by protecting, nourishing andprioriti@ing your marriage.

    #&y +&eres 7o Suc& +&ing )s a Soul 0ate

    your soul is waiting or its one$ perect match$ it'sgoing to be waiting or a long time.

    ( got an email from a young man who was feeling frustrated with relationships.%e had recently asked a girl on a date and had been turned down. 'heexplained to him that she was waiting for her soul mate. pparently, she didntthink he was the one.

    )y heart goes out to this young man, because it always stings to get turneddown/no matter how spiritual or holy the re*ection may be. (ve met more thanmy share of young men and women who are sitting around, waiting for theirsoul mate. s though one day, there will be a magical knock on the door andpoof, their soul mate will be waiting.

    +&e Soul 0ate 0yt&

    ( think this philosophy of a soul mate has done far more harm than good in oursociety. 4irst and foremost, its a concept that is rooted in ancient mythology.'tory has it that the gods split human beings as a form of punishment for theirpride. 'ince then, human beings have been on the search to find their soulmate in an attempt to reach completion once again. ncient mythologydeclares that there is this unspoken knowledge/some sort of feeling a personexperiences when they come face to face with their soul mate. (ts the idea thatwere half+full people waiting around for someone else to complete us.

    ( dont know about you, but that doesnt sound very healthy to me.

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    FEELINGS COMEAND THEN FEELINGSGO. THOSE WHO BUILD THEIRRELATIONSHIPS ON THE FOUNDATIONOF FEELING WILL FIND THAT WHENTHE RAIN COMES, THEIR LOVE !UICKLYCRUMBLES.

    $eyond the fact that the term is founded completely in fairy tale, its also entirelyunbiblical. (t is a title that is promotes feeling and energy that attracts oneperson to another. (ts a dangerous concept because it fools you into believingthat love and marriage hinge on emotional ecstasy. nd even more detrimental,

    it gets you to believe that you are incomplete until you come face to face withthe love of your life.

    +&eres 0ore to Forever +&an Feelings

    %ow long will it take us to learn that feelings cant be trusted! "hey may helppoint us in the right direction, but they should IJ- be the sole foundation onwhich an entire relationship is based. $ecause at the end of the day, feelingscome/and then feelings go. "hose who build their relationships on thefoundation of feeling will find that when the rain comes, their love #uicklycrumbles.

    ll over the world there are hristian young men and women waiting for thatmagical moment when they will come face to face and eye to eye with theperson that will stir their heart and connect deeply with their soul. 4or the onewho will complete them and make them whole.

    "here is no such thing as a person who will complete our souls, becauseaccording to 1ods word, we are only made complete in %im.

    THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERSON

    WHO WILL COMPLETE OUR SOULS,BECAUSE ACCORDING TO GODSWORD, WE ARE ONLY MADE COMPLETEIN HIM.

    %ealthy relationships begin by understanding this completeness. "hey arebased on positive interactions, effective communication and an emotional give+and+take with another human being that reflects health and wholeness. "hey

    are founded in faith, rooted in good choices and grounded in hard work and awhole lot of grace.

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    OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER IS BUILTOF A MILLION IMPERFECT BUTINTENTIONALLY PLACED STONES.

    1. S&are five /inutes of uninterru4ted eye contact. reepy ... but definitely amemory.

    2. #atc& a sunset or sunrise toget&erwith your favorite indie+rock anthemplaying in the background and pretend youre in a slightly obvious hipster film.

    3. Call your 4arentsand thank them for specific things theyve done for you.

    $. Pic( out a ,oo( and read aloud toget&er.Luality time together and theexpansion of your individualMcollective knowledge bases.

    5. Set u4 a ?/edia free@ day6eveningso you can fully focus attention on aloved one.

    :. et fancy.(ts a classic, but dressing up and splurging on a friend or lovedone is a timeless way to tell someone you care.

    ;. >Fa/ily *ove 0ic&ael.>"hrow a surprise We appreciate youG party withclose friends where everyone gives a short speech about why someone isloved.

    lay ndless 5ove over the >, and have dinnerat center ice.

    19. %evisit a first date or first /eeting 4laceand reminisce about whatbrought you together, what youve learned since and what youre lookingforward to together.

    11. +&e %ed Snuggie."ruly the gift that keeps on giving, all year long.

    POP SOME POPCORN AND ARRANGE AMARATHON OF YOUR LOVES FAVORITEFILMS FROM HIS OR HER CHILDHOODOR COLLEGE DAYS.

    12. 0a(e a &and/ade Aalentines ay card.reative, frame+able and ultra+sweet.

    13. #rite out an )l4&a,et of )44reciation.You are for wesome, $ for$eautiful, for ... 2you get the idea3.

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    1$. Be a 0erry 0aid. 'urprise a friend by cleaning their office, kitchen, car orbedroom/guaranteed to result in shock and awesome.

    15. Ba,ysit for freefor that couple you know desperately needs a night out.

    1:. Be t&e rocery Fairy. )ost practical gift ever/surprise a friend with aweeks worth of fresh groceries.

    1;. F%S'. B)K. C!!KIS.Ieed we say more!

    1

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    +&ings 7o !ne +ells You ),out oing on S&ort-+er/ 0ission +ri4s

    A ew ways to make sure your mission trip is e*ectie.

    t is estimated that over 8.: million people from the Hnited 'tates participate inshort+term mission trips every year. "hat is a lot of people. nd those 8.: millionpeople spend close to P; billionfor these trips.

    )y husband and ( live in 1uatemala and host short+term mission teams

    throughout the year. ( am originally from alifornia and he was born and raisedin 1uatemala. 4or me, short+term mission trips were kind of like camp. verysummer ( had the chance to go somewhere new and help people. 4or myhusband, hosting short+term mission teams in 1uatemala was part of what heand his family did. "here were blessings that came from it, but it was mostly alot of work.

    We have both seen the good, the bad and the ugly of short+term missions. ndwe continue to feel this tension with the short+term mission teams that we host.0o they do more harm than good! 0o they perpetuate the cycle of poverty! 0othey contribute to feelings of superiority! Cr inferiority! Cur work with familiesand communities in 1uatemala, as well as churches and schools from the H.'.has forced us to ask these #uestions daily.

    We have learned that perhaps howwe go might matter more that what we do.%ere are a few things you may not have heard about being more effective onshort+term mission trips&

    Youre 7ot a 'ero.

    4irst of all, before you go and when you get there, your team must commit togetting rid of the hero complex. 0eveloping countries do not need short+termheroes. "hey need long+term partners. nd if your group *ust wants to be a herofor a week, then you may be doing more harm than good.

    DEVELOPING COUNTRIES DO NOT NEEDSHORT-TERM HEROES. THEY NEEDLONG-TERM PARTNERS.

    Poverty Can *oo( ifferent +&an You 4ect.

    http://www.baylor.edu/mediacommunications/news.php?action=story&story=93238%E2%80%9Dhttp://www.baylor.edu/mediacommunications/news.php?action=story&story=93238%E2%80%9D
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    (f at the end of your trip you say, ( am so thankful for what ( have, because theyhave so little. You have missed the whole point.

    Youre poor, too. $ut maybe youre hiding behind all your stuff. "here is materialpoverty, physical poverty, spiritual poverty and systemic poverty. We all have to

    acknowledge our own brokenness and deep need for 1od before we canexpect to serve others.

    'istorical Contet 0ay Be ust )s I/4ortant as I//ediateContet.

    %ave you studied the history of the country or neighborhoods where youregoing! 0o you understand the role that the H.'. has played there! 0o youknow what the role of the hurch and missions has been! 0o you know thecurrent needs and issues of the people! %aving background knowledge ofwhere you=re going will help you know how you can best fit and help in your

    immediate context.

    ont o a o, Peo4le Can o for +&e/selves.

    5ast time ( checked, people in developing countries can paint a wall, so why areyou doing it for them! (f painting a wall or school is really a need in the placewhere youre working then invite students from that school or people from thevillage to do it with you.

    0oing things with people, not for people should be the motto. lways.

    *earning +a(es Place in t&e Contet of %eci4rocal%elations&i4s.

    $e willing to share about your family, your pain and your needs. 'ometimespeople in developing countries think everyone in the H.'. is rich, white andhappy. We know this is not true, and we have the chance to share honestly andvulnerably. >rioriti@e building relationships over completing pro*ects.

    You are an ambassador from your country. "hanks to globali@ation, You"ubeand 4acebook, most developing countries will have certain ideas about the H.'.before you arrive. $e willing to ask #uestions and share about yourself and

    merican culture, as well.

    long the same lines, before you take a picture, ask yourself, FWould ( mind if aforeigner took a picture of my daughterMsonMsisterMbrother in this situation!F (fthe answer is yes, then dont take it. ome back with stories and name ofpeople, not *ust an entire album of cute nameless kids.

    +&ere is So/et&ing S4ecial ),out oing.

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    "ESUS LEFT HIS HOME, THE COMFORTOF THE FATHER TO GO, TO BE AMONGTHE PEOPLE.

    ll of this isn=t meant to discourage missions work. Cn the contrary, the act ofgoing is important. 6esus left %is home, the comfort of the 4ather to go, to beamong the people. Your willingness to leave your home, your comfort and 1C isan example of that, too.

    'o go, be among the people. 5ive with them. 5earn from them. at what theyeat. Cbserve what they do. 0ont spend your time in )c0onalds.

    ont %aise 18999 for a #ee(8 and +&en ive 7ot&ing lse t&e"&ole Year.

    We all know money is not everything. $ut when used wisely it can make a hugedifference in the lives of people. You probably wrote letters and had car washesin order to raise money to go, right! Well, what keeps you from still doing that!We work hard for a one+week trip, but then what! What if your church or youthgroup or school worked on matching every dollar you spent on your one+weektrip to send down to the place you served over the course of the year!

    You ont 'ave to Fly in an )ir4lane to Serve t&e Poor.

    Why not focus on seeking *ustice in your neighborhood! sk yourself, F(f 6esuswas here who would %e be talking to!F "he kid with disabilities who sits in theback at youth group! "he 'panish+speaking man who cleans your office! "hewoman who collects cans in the local park! sk 1od to give you eyes to seewhat %e does. (t might change your life.

    >lease dont stop taking short+term missing trips, but do consider helping yourteam understand that howwe do short+term mission trips may, in fact, mattermore than what we do.

    5 *ies I sed to Believe ),out Being ) C&ristiant's not only those outside the +hurch who haemisconceptions about +hristianity.

    rowing up in church, ( thought ( had *ust about everything figured out about

    being a hristian.

    "hat all changed for me one day when ( visited a church that was much different

    than the straight+laced church ( grew up in. (t was a place where people dressedand acted the same on 'unday as they did the rest of the week. (t was a place

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    where it was C< to be honest and open about doubts and struggles. "here waseven an atmosphere of excitement and celebration that was expressed duringworship.

    ll of this was very new to me. "here was such of contrast in this group of

    believers that ( had to #uestion much of what ( believed about being a hristian.What ( discovered is that some of my hristian beliefs were actually misguidedand inspired more by worldly religion than the Word of 1od.

    (ts obvious that non+hristians have some misconceptions regardinghristianity, but often those who grew up in church, do too. %ere are *ust a fewof the lies ( used to believed about being a hristian&

    1. Your Be&avior )ffects ods *ove For You.

    With all the rules we set up for ourselves, its easy to think following them is the

    way to get 1ods approval and love. $ut the truth is you dont have to try to useyour behavior to earn 1ods love. %e loves you despite your behavior.

    YOU DONT HAVE TO TRY TO USE YOURBEHAVIOR TO EARN GODS LOVE. HELOVES YOU DESPITE YOUR BEHAVIOR.

    hrist died for us while we were still sinners 2-omans :&A3. 1ods love for youisnt based on what you do or dont do, it=s based on %is 'on 6esus and your

    decision to accept %imG

    2. C&urc& is a #ee(ly vent and ust a Building.

    5iving in the $ible $elt, going to church can sometimes be seen as *ustsomething that everyone does. Worshipping 1od is often compartmentali@edand sectioned off from the rest of our week. "here is this idea that every 'undayyou have to dress up and polish your external appearance and behavior.

    $ut 1od is interested in your heart, not your outfit. %e looks at the internal ofman, not the external 28 'amuel 8D&E3.

    hurch is also fre#uently viewed as building and not a body. (n reality, weshould see the hurch as a $ody that *ust so happens to meet in a building."he $ible talks about the hurch as a living and breathing thing, not *ust ameeting that takes place each week with some singing and preaching2phesians ;&8K+;;3. We werent meant to love an event, we were meant tolove people.

    3. You S&ouldnt 4ress Your Struggles or ou,ts.

    'ometimes the hristian life is hard. t times, there are no easy answers or

    explanations. (nstead of suppressing our doubts and struggles, we should admitthem to 1od and ask others to help us walk through them.

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    0avid was a man after 1ods own heart, and he often openly expressed hisdoubts and struggles during times of hardship. $eing honest and open aboutyour struggles doesnt make you less spiritual, it actually draws you closer to1od because it forces you to get rid of your pride and self+sufficiency.

    You dont overcome the difficulties of life by ignoring the struggle7 you overcomethem by inviting 1od to work in those areas 2>salm B?&:3G What good is it if youhave everyone fooled except for 1od!

    $. C&urc& *eaders&i4 is !nly For t&e Su4er-S4iritual.

    'ometimes, those of us sitting in church pews each week can start thinking ofour pastors and elders as spiritually superior, better hristians and almostinfallible. "his is part of why we are so surprised and shattered when churchleaders fall/we forget that they are sinful human beings, *ust as in need ofgrace and accountability as the rest of us.

    "he truth is, your pastor, worship leader, small group leader or whoever elsemay have more training andMor have walked with 6esus longer than you have,but they are still people. "hey struggle. "hey need friends that talk about thingsthat dont directly relate to church.

    THE BIBLE ISNT ABOUT RULES# ITSABOUT "ESUS

    1od uses the weak for %is glory. nd %e can use you. You dont have to workyourself up to be some sort of spiritual superman in order to serve %im.

    5. +&e Bi,le is 0ostly ),out %ules.

    We often make the $ible out to be a rulebook. $ut when we view it that way, wewill lose interest #uickly because there is no connection made.

    "he $ible isnt about rules7 its about 6esus. (ts designed to be used in thecontext of relationship. "he goal in reading the Word shouldnt be to get to acertain chapter, but to meet 6esus along the way.

    ( challenge you to ask yourself if you believe any of those ideas. Youre notalone if you do. "he good news is there is hope, because there is truth. nd thetruth has the power to set you free 26ohn A&?;3.