4 tips on setting boundaries
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4 tips on creating and keeping healthy boundariesTRANSCRIPT
4 Tips on Setting
BoundariesBy: Kassandra Bibas, ACC
http://www.kassandrabibas.com
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
IDENTIFY YOUR TOP 3 NON-NEGOTIABLES
What are the top three priorities of your life and how do you fit them into your daily/weekly schedule?
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
For example, • If your top three priorities are God, family and
health, the 3 non-negotiables you might choose could include:
Morning prayer Eating dinner as a family at least five nights a
week Exercising daily A non-negotiable is something that gets done NO
MATTER what else you have to do during that day
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
But… • Suffer not one exception• A NON-NEGOTIABLE is non-negotiable• If it’s your priority, you have to make it one…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
SAY NO AND MEAN IT
Learn to say no clearly, concisely and completely. A no that sounds like a yes is not a no.
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
Assert without debating
• When you say no, there’s no need to explain, clarify or debate the reasoning behind your decision
• Make the decision, communicate it and resist the temptation to defend your position
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
Remember…• “Find your voice to ask for what you want.
Everybody has the right to tell you no or yes, but you always have the right to ask.”
• - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
GIVE YOURSELF 24 HOURS TO DECIDE…
No decision made in a hurry works out…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
Allow people to make requests…
• Not demands…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
When someone asks for a favor, request 24 hours to
think about it… • It’ll give you time to evaluate, consider & make
the best choice for you…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
DECIDE WHERE YOUR LIMIT IS
Before you get a request, know where you’re drawing the line…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
For example, • Do you work on Sundays?• Can a friend ask you to babysit with less than 24
hours notice and you say yes?• Are you willing to drop your plans to help out a
sibling?• Will you work late and miss your child’s recital?• Will you skip the gym in order to help out a
friend?• Will you stay up all night if your spouse needs
help with a last-minute project he/she procrastinated on?
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
Know where you
stand before you have to take a stand…
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l
Learn more about creating AND keeping healthy boundaries: Register for The Healthy Boundaries Master Class
Learn to Create & Keep Healthy Boundaries: http://tinyurl.com/6vkj43l