©2015 lincoln national corporation comfort with ambiguity comfort with ambiguity what the most...

©2015 Lincoln National CorporationComfort With Ambiguity

COMFORT WITH AMBIGUITYWhat the most influential do differently

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Comfort With Ambiguity

Communication + Trust =COMFORT in gray areas


The power of making people feel heard

4Comfort With Ambiguity

5 = Good job

4 = Not that good

3 = Less than not that good

2 = Bad

1 = Really bad


Your behavior will always betray your skill.

If people don’t like your behavior, they will look for reasons not to trust you or agree with you.


Expertise is often viewed as a gray area…behavior is not.


"The only way to create value for yourself is to create it for others first"


• Issue: problem •Action: solution • Impact: why it's important

The clarity formula


How can you contribute valuable insights on issues outside your own area of expertise?


So even if you are new and massively mediocre (no offense to those of you who are, in fact, mediocre), you are measurably better than nothing! There is no escaping your basic value.

You have to accept the fact that if someone needs the services of an actuary, and that person is not an actuary, you are totally valuable.


• You are not a spreadsheet; you are not a number puncher … you are a thinker.

• You are a human who possesses the ability to think outside of any finite structure.

• You are not limited to one style or deliverable.


YOU ARE NOT CARRIE UNDERWOOD …

YOU ARE LADY GAGA


Gathering is a primary skill. It has been used throughout history, from cavemen (and by using the word cavemen I am including cavewomen and avoiding the term “cave people,” which seems almost retroactively racist) who gathered food … to actuaries who can take data of any kind and boil it down to get the answers they need if they have good relationships with the people they’re getting the answers from.

As a human, you have hereditarily inherited the history of insight. Even if you lack experience in life, you can at least borrow some from your ancestors.


We all have common knowledge we have learned as a species.

• People are more likely to trust people they like.

• You can’t get good data if a person does not trust you.

• If you make people feel valuable, they are more likely to see your value.

• People who have nothing to gain are often not motivated to help.

• You miss 100% of the shots you never take.

• Never let anyone who rides a motorcycle and who does not have a car borrow your car because the person will wreck it!

• You possess common knowledge you can apply in different ways.


Uncommon knowledge• The person asking questions is always in control of the

conversation.

• The law of randomness: If you succeed at the highest possible level on Day 1, the least likely thing to happen would be to do it again on Day 2.

• Overall, crime in the U.S. has dropped 40% since 1980. (Murder has dropped 50% in the past 24 years.)

• If you give someone a report you created, they expect you to be able to answer questions about that report immediately (not go back and research all their questions first).


If you combine your common knowledge with

uncommon knowledge, you can create insight.

What you did that helped one team (which was

common knowledge) will help another. They don’t

always want all the details; they want to know what’s

important to them in that moment.


You don’t have to be an expert to have value.

You just have to be willing to give up some detailed accuracy in your explanation so they can grasp the concept of the solution.


It’s like the Uber app. I don’t want see how lost (on the app map) my driver is or hear about how he only does this part time because he is developing a robotic life partner.

I just want a ride to the bar to meet a real girl.


Your unique action

If your communication has been clear and consistent, you should understand how your knowledge applies to their situation.


Your unique action

Experience + Common Knowledge + What You’ve Learned = Value .


If the devil is in the details … the salvation is in the simplification of those details in order to gain clarity.


TAKING RISK:Being unafraid of making mistakes in uncharted territory

Your broad knowledge and experience of various industries can lead you to the right answer


The stereotype of an actuary is a loner mathlete who didn’t make friends at computer camp … Is that reality?

Get comfortable with the people — Comfort comes from asking the questions, getting the information and being prepared.

Trust your answers that are based on what you already know because that has been beneficial in similar situations.

Your basic knowledge of insurance polices, pension plans and financial strategies will help you.

Ask questions based your experience and knowledge


The easiest way to be social and connect with people is to ask questions and listen. You don’t have to be dynamic or interesting to get people to tell you their story


• It is OK not to know.• It is not OK not to ask.

Find out where the resources come from — Not knowing the answer is where the risk resides.


• Not knowing = lack of knowledge• Not asking = lack of effort• Asking questions is how the risk is greatly reduced.• Reducing risk sometimes requires that you assume the

risk of letting your manager or leader know what you don’t know.

• Those who ask get, and those who do not ask do not get so much.

• Resources come from the industry and from your teams.• People like to feel heard and feel like you care. Asking

questions proves you are doing both of those things.


Knowledge of human behavior, strong analytic skills and critical thinking, matched with communication, will reduce the fear of making a mistake.


When you are in uncharted territory, it means there is no map, no GPS.

What do you do if you are lost and your phone is dead? You ask for directions!

And then you borrow their phone … and look through their text messages.


• Preparation + Experience + Insight = Confidence

• Energy + Focus + Belief = Projected Confidence

• No one will ever perceive you as confident unless you project it!

Delivering your findings with perceived/projected confidence


Acting like you are valuable is just as valuable as being valuable.

If you know what others believe is valuable and believe in your own value, it’s a lot easier to provide your opinion.


It’s OK to provide an opinion or data point with the qualification that you are not 100% sure of your answer. Don’t second-guess yourself out loud or give “dude answers.”

“So, like, dude, this not exactly right, but it’s like impossible for me to be really right, dude, so don’t, like, judge me if it turns out to be totally wrong.”

Do your best and then stand up for your best. Trust what you have learned


• You won’t always have the best information.

• Your experience and training allow you to make contributions to a decision without full details.

• Ask yourself: What worked last time?

Being comfortable making decisions with incomplete information


That means you may have to actually call them … on your phone … and talk to them … or actually walk (on your legs) to their area and ask a question.

Asking better questions


• Email and text are only as effective as your writing skills and the other person’s reading skills.

• What historical proof do we have that calling has more influence than the written word?

• Answer: If it’s really important and emotional, you call. If you really want to find out how someone feels, you call.

• How many of you just text your mom on her birthday and don’t call?

• How many people need me to prove this point any further?

Phone vs. email and text


Knowledge of the industry is critical if you want to ask good questions.

Picking up the phone is much easier when you know what questions you are going to ask.


• Prepared in advance (don’t shoot from the hip too often).

• As short as you can make them.

• Extremely clear.

• Asked as soon as possible.

• Not meant to feel like an interrogation.

Good questions are —


You are working on a project where you have very little experience (create the scenario). What are the three most important questions you need to ask?

Developing good questions:The exercise


• If you know people pretty well, they are a lot easier to work with (even if you don’t like them).

• We learn as much (or more) from other people as we do from formal education.

• Relationships allow you to gain insight in areas that others may have expertise in that you do not.

Relationships = Insights


• Life in general is full of gray areas. (All humans are not the same.)• In your job, you deal with things that you (and

society) view as black and white.• But gray areas are where many projects start.

Better decisions in gray areas


The facts about gray areasThere is a lot we know … There is a lot more that we don’t know!

Emotion has more power than fact: People are more

motivated by how they feel than they are by facts.


• You know you should not eat three cupcakes, but you feel like you want to.

• That feeling (emotion) is more powerful than what you know is right.

• Three cupcakes = prescription pants • If you don’t eat those cupcakes, you need something now.

Maybe new shoes. Or maybe just some angry tweets about how cupcakes are evil. Or maybe 5 hours of video games!

• Is risk assessment an exact science? • Is math perfect? • Is time real? • We invented the modern assessment process, math and time.


If you are an actuary and the people you are dealing with are not, your gray area may appear black and white to them.

When you do not know the exact answer, you have to work with the information you possess.

Without all the data and facts, what are the basic trends that have some level of consistency? How is waiting to make a decision better? Do you get more and better data? If you don’t, does waiting hurt you?

You check your data, ask questions, look at similar situations, check other outside factors and conditions … and make your decision.


•We have learned throughout history to live with risk and fear (not be controlled by it).• Stress is a perception. • People jump out of airplanes for fun … but are

hospitalized because of worry!

Most studies show that 75% of all thoughts are negative: The power of negative thinking


The riskiest thing you can ever do is to prove to those around you that you will let circumstances decide outcomes before you will take action.

The big grayish factoid


Shifting priorities with changing business needs Basic priorities for mankind

Money — If you are not helping make it or keep it, then you have to ask yourself: What are you doing?

Loyalty — You need to be supportive in order to be supported. What can you do effectively without allies?

Scheduling/timing — Do you know what to do within a certain time frame? A good job a day late is very often not a good job.


How not being able to prioritize causes stress

The leading cause of stress is knowing exactly what you are supposed to be doing and consistently doing something else.


You have 1,440 minutes a day to spend as you choose.

• Figure out what is not important and remove it from your day.

• Be prepared to be flexible: Do you have a plan?


Making sure people feel valuable

• If the people you work with feel you value them, it’s a lot easier to tell them you are going to shift away from their project for a while.

• The key is to make sure you seem calm and not overwhelmed so they feel you can handle their needs as you help others.


You need to make sure you are providing insight and your team is confident that you can handle your workload (so they will be supportive of you working on other projects).


Overcoming the fear of looking stupid

• If you spend all your time trying to convince others that you’re smart, you don’t have time to be flexible and do a good job.

• It is the downfall of many seemingly competent people.

• When you are new, you will always have to learn. Needing to learn does not make you look stupid.

• Pretending you know … does.


• If you are going to shift priorities, you will have learning curves.

• You may lose a piece of information.

• You may make a big mistake.

• But if you are not so worried about how others view your actions, it’s possible to move forward quickly, learn and benefit from the experience.


DON’T BLAME OTHERS:

If things are always someone else’s fault, you can’t learn anything about yourself.


Delivering likeable results • The information gathered lowers the level of risk.• You present it in a format that explains how this was

accomplished.• But when you are shifting priorities, you need your

results and insights to be very likable.• Sometimes the likability of your answer is as important

as the content.• It can be tough to meet new business needs if your

team thinks you were distracted.


I am not saying you have to make things seem better than they are; you just need to be mindful that it’s a lot easier to shift priorities when you are confident that your efforts are well received.


It’s how you frame things

• Do you know why we call it life insurance? Because it was really hard to sell when they called it what it really is….

• Death insurance.


How can you consistently shift priorities and make yourself and others like it?


Your brain is awesome! It does not need experience or more data to provide basic insight.


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©2015 lincoln national corporation comfort with ambiguity comfort with ambiguity what the most...

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