2014 cio santa letters(1)
TRANSCRIPT
By Vince CiottiH.I.S. (not very) Professionals, LLC
At the risk of antagonizing the many HIS vendors who have cooperated in over a hundred “strenuous” system selection processes we put them through over the years, this year features another special series of Xmas letters.
To make your holiday a little merrier (and with some help from Joseph Snowden), we managed to get copies of the private letters sent to Santa from their client CIOs.
So make sure your iPhone is charged (there are 12 leading vendors), put your feet up on your keyboard, and enjoy these “punny” missives that reveal what it’s like to be a client of theirs, listed by order of revenue. Hope Yule like it!
(PS - our attorney can be reached at: 800/555-HELP)
Dear Santa,
Please give Cerner a copy of their
own billing system to generate their
invoice to us – it will give us many months
delay before receiving them (if ever), and
even more months before they can post our
payment.
Yours truly,
Cerner CIO
Dear Santa,
We’ve grown a bit tired
of Practicing with
McKesson’s Partner for
our “integrated” hospital &
ambulatory IDN. Can you
maybe get us the real thing
this year?
Dear Santa,
I’d like two things this year:
(1) thermal underwear for Epic’s user group
meetings, and
(2) (2) binoculars to see the stage.
I could pick them both up at their next
meeting near the north pole…
Yours truly,
Epic CIO
Santa,
For Xmas this year,
could you please give me
Paul Black’s phone #? I’m
not a Wall Street analyst,
so it’s been hard to get a
hold of him lately…
Sincerely,
Allscripts CIO
Dear Santa,
We replaced our old
Invision system you gave us
many years ago for a brand new
gift you gave us just last year
called Soarian, Could we maybe
swap it for another system this
year?
Sincerely,
Siemens CIO
Dear Santa,
It’s been getting
rather lonely at GE’s
hospital users group
meetings – could you send
some of your elves or
reindeer to liven things
up?
Sincerely,
Dear Santa,
We’ve been having
trouble with the gift you
gave us last year called
LSS: can’t seem to open
the package and get it to
work with other toys from
the same manufacturer. Can
you please send a new set
that all works together?
Dear Santa,
We just love the three wise men you
sent to our IDN:
- Opus for the hospital clinicals,
- Sphere for their financials, and
- NextGen for our physicians.
However, they don’t seem to talk very
well to each other. This year, could you
send us a translator?
NextGen CIO
Dear Santer,
We all just love the many CPSI gift
apps you gave us over the years – none
of my friends have so many, let alone
all wrapped in the exact same way.
However, they’re difficult to open and
once they’re opened, not really very
nice. Don’t mean to be fussy, but could
you send us just one or two really nice
apps this year?
Y’all have a merry one!
CPSI IT Director
Dear Santa,
That system you gave
us last year for our ED
was superb - many
thanks! However, the
one for the hospital was
only so-so… Any chance
we can get an equally
nice one for both
Santa San,
あなたは、米国の前に、今年東京で停止を確認してください ありがとうございました 親愛なるサンタ.
NTT Data CIO
Dear Santa,
Wow, that QuadraMed EHR that
you sent us last year was great – a
somewhat dated style, but real classy –
our RNs and MDs like it a lot. This
year, we’d like to spruce it up a bit to
look more modern – any chance?
Many thanks,
QuadraMed CIO
Dear Santa,
Sorry I couldn’t afford a first-
class stamp this year and I hope
this3rd class stamp gets my letter
there in time. As for a gift, we’d be
glad for anything this year.
Doesn’t have to be a Classic, nor
shipped via APS, just please
leave it in the Centriq under our
tree…
Dear Santa,
Please send Vince some
consulting business next year to
keep him out of my hair. I hoped
I was finally done with him when
he ended the HIS-tory series, but
he just never quits…
Fondest regards to you and the
Mrs,
Mr. HIS-talk