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English as a Global Language

By Don L. F. Nilsen

(pictures from www.engrish.com )

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Global Business English

• Japanese Hotel Room: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

• Paris Hotel Elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

• Tokyo Hotel: It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do do such a thing is please not read this notice.

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• Leipzig Elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

• Athens Hotel: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

• Belgrade Elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.

• Tokyo Shop: Our nylons cost more than common but they are better for the long run.

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• Sarajevo Hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

• Moscow Hotel: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

• Swiss Menu: Our wines leaving you nothing to hope for.

• Norwegian Lounge: Ladies are required not to have children in the bar.

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• Hong Kong Tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

• Bangkok Dry Cleaners: Drop your trousers here for best results.

• Paris Dress Shop: Dress for street walking.

• Rhodes tailor Shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

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• Rome Laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

• Copenhagen Airline: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

• Moscow Hotel: If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it.

• Acapulco Hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

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A Vegetable

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Asian Rear

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Baby’s Fanny Mushrooms

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Bottled Water

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Crap your Hands

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Crippie and Gravid

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Dogs Sauce

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Dying

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Getting Off

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Hard Times

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HO ENTRANCE

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Robster

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Starbutts

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!Tinkling Heart

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!!Turd Baby

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!!!Very Suspicious Supermarket

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References:

Rhode, Michael, and John A. Lent. “Comic Art, 2005-2009: A Global Bibliography.” Special Issue of International Journal of Comic Art 11.3 (Winter, 2009): 1-626.