2006 bateman christmas newsletter

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  • 8/14/2019 2006 Bateman Christmas Newsletter

    1/6

    B

    2006

    SCRAPBOOK

    All photos 100% real. We never, never forget to take pictures.

  • 8/14/2019 2006 Bateman Christmas Newsletter

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    Zoe ran away from

    home this summer.

    When found by her

    parents several weeks

    ater, it wasdiscovered that she

    had joined the Manti

    Temple Pageant and

    fallen victim to the

    seedy world of

    portraying angels andtownspeople. Her

    eventual rescue

    required great

    sacrifice on the part

    of her loving parents,

    who were forced to

    drive her all the

    flippin way to Manti three times a stupid week.

    Having finally been successfully deprogrammed from the

    brainwashing she received at the hands of one of

    Sanpetes many dangerous cults, she returned to hernormal life of trumpet playing, book reading, baby sitting,

    food eating, Sam smacking, good grade getting normalcy.

    We were so proud of her recovery that we sent her to

    Michigan, which was just fine.

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    Sam was proud and delighted to be

    nvited to join his Grandpa C. and his

    uncles on the annual rock-climbing 4-

    wheelin trip in Moab this fall. Brent

    was not invited due to the certainty of

    death involved. However, Sam was

    gladly sacrificed.

    Sam had a wonderful time. He

    reported that every moment filled

    him with unexpressible emotion

    especially during those magical

    times just prior to tumbling,

    plummeting, or conflagrating.

    The boys enjoyed many marvelous

    adventures, as shown here in these

    ive photos actually taken at the

    scene. Sam eagerly anticipates next

    years trip, and sincerely hopes that he

    can set all of his affairs in order and

    prepare an estate plan prior to

    embarking.

    Sam 4-wheelin in his uncles truck.

    Sam has fun while wheelin.

    The boys hit a snag.

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    Jeffrey, after many years of eager anticipation, finallygot the opportunity to play competitive sports this

    year. Although the sportwas soccer, which did notgive him the longed-for

    opportunity to wield a bat,stick, or other club-likeobject, Jeffrey finallyfound a way to show hissportsmanlike side.Although he did discovermany things about

    himself, such as his ability to inflict injury bykicking, he took great pride in being able toleave it on the field, and did not constantlyhound and harass his family members to justplay with him please for five measly minutes.

    Daisy joined a local choir this year, which resulted in many wonderful experiences. Her favoritewas during the annual Halloween

    concert, which scared the holybezeebus out of her. Trooperthat she is, she managed toing through her tears ofterror. Undaunted, she activelyeeks other outlets for hercreative passions, such asconstantly asking her parentshow to spell every single wordever spoken, forgetting to tellwhere she is going, and climbingon home teachers.

    Daisy enjoys her choir Halloween concert

    Jeff greets his opponents in his usual

    friendly manner.

    Jeff during one of his many

    indoor practice sessions.

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    Terri once again enjoyed success inher fifth career teaching young

    people how to invent stuff.Those that receive BYU Magazin

    will see on page 9 of the latest issuean article in which she is prominen

    featured. She does outstanding worand is amazing at her job.

    She also continues to do well in herother four jobs; child-rearer, ebay

    seller, jewelry/card/stamp/foodmaker, and primary presidency

    member.

    Brent is now, officially, half the man he used to be.

    Terri teaches her engineering students how to recognize a screwdriver

    After

    Before

  • 8/14/2019 2006 Bateman Christmas Newsletter

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    1. Everything in this poem really happened. No kidding.

    2. Final Season Record: 1-14. The one victory is due to the other team not having enough players. Nevertheless, we went ahead and

    played them with our full team against their seven guys, and we lost something like 36-4.3. This is slow-pitch softball, people.

    4. This was one of my best players. Give the man a break. He had never played softball before. In fact he had never watched softball

    before. He once ran out to play center field without a glove.

    5. How is this possible? The next stanza explains.

    6. The throw home hit the ump dead center in the chest, while the catcher calmly watched from less than a foot away.

    7. Except for the very last game, that rule was invoked every single time we played.

    8. On the last game, we literally had to beg people off the street to play with us. However, that wasnt a bad thing. See the previous

    footnote.

    9. Not kidding. We would have lost to the Bad News Bears. We would have lost to the Berenstain Bears. We would have lost to flippin

    Yogi and Boo Boo.

    Team by Brent1

    think that I shall never seeA softball team quite as stinky;2

    A team where strikeouts often last;because the pitch is thrown too fast;3

    And if a hit flies like a bird,The batter runs straight toward third;4

    Opposing hitters can all four bases roundThough their hit doesnt make it to the mound;5

    And watch the ball to the outfield goWhen to a base we try to throw;

    A team whose catcher often roamsAnd thinks the umpires covering home;6

    A team that really thinks its cool

    That theres a ten-run mercy rule.7

    The faithful players all talent lack,but players that can do not come back.8

    Only teams coached by fools like meCould be the worst in history.9

    Brents team attempts to field a popup.