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20 Hilarious

Kids’ Blunders

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We was playing futbol and we fell and we started to have a fit. It was not a bad fit but the teacher tolled us of.

( Footballers get into a fight, not a fit! )

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The scool hell is being painted. So we had assembly in our classroom

( Is the school hall a ‘Hell’ for many? )

4

When PC Handley visited he had a helmet and a smart white shit.

( The PC must be really smelly with shit on him! )

5

Today I painted an octopuss with big eyes and eight purple testicles.

(‘ Have the tentacles of the octopus changed…?’)

6

I luv J. K. Rolling , she is my heroin.( When has J.K. Rowling, the heroine to

many, become the addictive drug heroin? )

7

The driver flashed at me so I decided to cross the road.

( ‘Flashing the headlights is one thing…but a flasher commits a sexual offence!’ )

8

You can get from Dover to France on a train or you can go on a fairy.

( In Fantasy Land, you don’t need a ferry to cross the sea…a fairy does the job! )

9

People tot the earth was fat but it’s round. It is shaped like a spear.

( ‘fat’ for ‘flat’, ‘spear’ for ‘sphere’…how amusing! )

10

Children in Africa are staring to death. They only get a little groin to eat. I would not like to eat the groin.

( If you are starving, would you eat ‘groin’ if there’s no grain? )

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Africa…I would like to see the wild breasts roaming the place.

( Ho! Ho! There’s a world of difference between ‘breasts’ and ‘beasts’! )

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I would like to be an accountant but you have to know a lot about moths.

( Ha! Will knowing about moths help you to improve your maths? )

13

In the 1930s you could get some money by going to the porn shop. The man at the porn shop had 3 balls

hanging over his entrance.( When you mix up ‘pawn’ and ‘porn’

the result is hilarious! )

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Florence nitingale was known as the lady with the lump.( Wouldn’t Florence need a ‘lamp’

to see her ‘lump’? )

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It was peek season when we went to the beach; there were ladles in bikinis everywhere.

Men would love ‘peek’ rather than peak seasons to watch ladies in bikinis ( not ladles! )

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Monks are men who give their life to God and marry nuns. They live in a monstery.

( ‘Marriage fun’ for monks? They know they have None! ( Not Nun! ) )

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Every living thing is an orgasm, from the smallest cell to the whole mammal; there are orgasms everywhere.

( Omitting the ‘n’ and ‘i’ in organism is a blunder that can be most embarrassing! )

18

All our family love sweats. My mum loves bras of chocolate. She had three chocolate bras

on Friday evening last week.( Sweats to eat? We have seen bars

but not bras of chocolate. )

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We went to visit my dad’s boss this holiday. He lives in a big hose.

( Do you wonder what’s it like to live in a hose? )

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My uncle is impotent. He is the boss of a big factory.

Many would want to be important but to be impotent is nothing to be proud of.

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I would like to be a signtist and I would like to work in a lavatory.

( Have you heard of any scientist who likes to work in a Lavatory rather than a Laboratory. )

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The EndMay you all try your very bestto get into less and less mess!

With Metta,Bro. Oh Teik Bin