20 copywriting disasters (and how to avoid them)

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20 21 Copywriting Disasters (And how to avoid them)

Ian Lurie

CEO & Founder

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Our secret lair

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portent.co/20copy

yes, like this, no ‘m’

Tweet your questions with #portentu

5 5

We’ve all been there.

6 6

by golly, ian, this copy is

perfect!!!

The copy’s perfect

Our Philsophy: Smart, Efficient, Quick Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Did I men)on how efficient we are? Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

7 7

The client loves it

we love it!!


8 8

and then…

9 9

boom.

ian, you suck.


10 10

20 disasters haunt us all.

11 11

I’ve been in every one.

12 12

But you can avoid them, sometimes.

They’ve inevitable. They hit all of us.

13 13

Learn from my pain.

14 14

Three disaster classifications

embarrassing: no permanent consequences

bad: you may get fired

gods preserve us (gpu): I don’t know you

15 15

Here we go.

16 16

Disaster 1: The Great Philsophy Massacre

17 17

Uh-huh

What’s wrong with this picture?


18 18

Cost: $5,000

Classification: Bad


19 19

Use a #$@&%*! spell checker

Avoidable


20 20

Read it backwards

Avoidable


21 21

Have someone else read it?

Avoidable


22 22

Disaster 2: The incomplete headline

23 23

Egads.

Teacher, Student in Fertility Experiment

24 24

Egads.


Teacher, Student Research Bee Fertility

25 25

Really, really embarrassing

Classification: Embarrassing


26 26

But, like I always say…

27 27

When life gives you lemons…

28 28

Supreme Court Tries Sodomy

Laugh at someone else.

29 29

The Blank Sheet of Paper Test

Avoidable


30 30


Avoidable

Supreme Court Tries Sodomy Case

31 31

The blank sheet of paper test


If I write this headline on a blank sheet of paper and show it to a stranger, will they know what I’m talking about? Correctly?

32 32

Disaster 3: Search term avoidance

33 33

Wedding garment

Bridesmaid dress?

34 34

Destination formalwear

Bridesmaid dress?

35 35

Destination dress

Bridesmaid dress?

36 36

Failure to use audience’s lexicon

Classification: Bad

37 37

Have a brain

Avoidable

38 38

Use WordStream

Avoidable

39 39

Use SEMRush

Avoidable

40 40

Use Surveys

Avoidable

41 41

USE ANYTHING BUT GUESSING!!!

Avoidable

42 42

Disaster 4: Baffle ‘em with

43 43

I am ashamed

I wrote this

We create extant systems by adapting legacy infrastructure to current interprative mechanisms, thereby building longer time-to-obsolescence.

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Drives away customers like the plague. Sounds like I sneezed repeatedly on the page.

Classification: Bad

We create extant systems by adapting legacy infrastructure to current interprative mechanisms, thereby building longer time-to-obsolescence.

45 45

Knowledge of a word does not require its use.

Avoidable

46 46

Also: The Blank Sheet of Paper Test

Avoidable

47 47



If I write this headline on a blank sheet of paper and show it to a stranger, will they know what I’m talking about? Correctly?

We create extant systems by adapting legacy blah blah blah blah blah mumble blah

48 48



Not even if I gave them a dictionary.

We create extant systems by adapting legacy blah blah blah blah blah mumble blah

49 49



Better. Not great. But better.

Our products extend the life of existing enterprise software by connecting it to modern, more usable interfaces.

50 50

Disaster 5: The poop sandwich

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Yummy on the outside IAN LURIE // JAN 7 2013

How to Create an Online Experience

for Humans

Marketers Dying By A Thousand Data

Points

What Project Managers Actually Do Announcing RainGage

One-Trick Ponies Get Shot: Doing

Digital Strategy Right

Research: Site Speed Is Hurting Your

Everyone’s Revenue

Advertising should

Marketing is what we do. Advertising is what we often make as a result. It sounds very

fulfilling. Alas, the process usually looks something like this:

1. The marketing team builds out brilliant messaging and brand story.

2. They brainstorm some nifty ideas.

3. Then, they pull together a completely incomprehensible collection of marketing

platitudes creative brief around the ideas, which they pitch over the wall to

management.

4. Every yahoo who thinks they know anything about marketingAll stakeholders

review the brief. All draw their own conclusions. None of those conclusions agree.

5. Armed with these insights, the creative team staggers into a separate room to

spawn beautiful but confusing creative that complies with corporate branding

guidelines.

6. Stakeholders review the creative and say “This is great!”

7. The marketing team reviews the creative and says “This won’t convert!” Then they

pout.

8. In response, the creative team adds a ‘click here’ button.

9. It goes live.

10. Everyone gets drunk. I have a Diet Coke.

11. Congrats! It’s advertising!

The result is an utter turd that converts about as well as opening your office window and

yelling “BUY MY STUFF.” But by then the process has sucked out your will to live. You

crawl across the finish line, then go hunting for chocolate.

Yes, I’m prone to exaggeration. It isn’t always this bad. Once in awhile everything falls into place. But I’m stuck in a middle seat ona 7-hour flight. So I’m grumpy. Er. More grumpy.

Why? Please, tell me why?Why does this happen over and over?

I could name all the usual suspects: Poor communications, lack of organizational clarity,

no sense of vision, no accountability, blah blah blah. But I think it comes down to

discipline: We all know what we need to do. Getting everyone to do it every time, day

after day is something else entirely.

Consistency is a butt-kicker. Anyone who’s tried to get their teen-ager to carry his

damned dishes to the dishwasher and actually put them in after each of his 9 daily

meals knows whereof I speak. We repeat the same mistakes, over and over. And over.

When it comes to creating great marketing, we’re teenagers.

Somehow, we have to keep the real goal of marketing and advertising front-of-mind,

even when deadlines, political squabbles and turf wars drive us all nuts. My solution: A

USB-capable work monitor and kidney-puncher. But I’ve been told that’s not practical.

The better way: #AdvertisingShouldFortunately, the folks at Copacino & Fujikado came up with a much better idea. They’ve

started advertisingshould.com.

It’s a Twitter-based scrapbook of ads wisdom. You can contribute to and learn from the

yummy advertising goodness within by doing 3 simple things:

1. Bookmark it, and check back every day for a nice reminder what we should be

doing.

2. Keep an eye on the #advertisingshould hashtag on Twitter.

3. And contribute: Tweet how you think advertising should work, and use the hashtag

#advertisingshould. Keep it going and it’ll keep us all on our toes. And, see your

name in the dim light of my d-list celebrity status! I’m going to do a list of my

favorites in a few weeks.

This may seem like a little thing. But it’s the little things that make projects successful,

and marketing great: A little reminder now and then goes a long way. And it’s better

than USB-administered corporal punishment. So go contribute your ideas to

#advertisingshould.

Ian LurieCEO

Ian Lurie is CEO and founder of Portent Inc. He is co-author of the 2nd

edition of the Web Marketing All-In-One for Dummies and wrote the

sections on SEO, blogging, social media and web analytics. He's

recorded training for Lynda.com, writes regularly for the Portent Blog and

has been published on AllThingsD, Forbes.com and TechCrunch. And,

Ian speaks at conferences around the world, including SearchLove,

MozCon, SIC and ad:Tech. Read More

Related Articles

2 Comments

JUSTIN MARKETING ONLINE // JAN 8 2013, 00:08:06

Hey Ian,

Love the tips (and of course the creative graphics) You make a great distinction between marketing/

advertising and one i have for sales vs. marketing is marketing gets the horse to the lake. Sales make the

horse drink the water. Look forward to more of your posts happy 2013

BEN // JAN 15 2013, 14:53:27

This is the neatest idea! I can’t wait to follow this trend on Twitter. Thanks so much for sharing.

Comments are closed.

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Yummy on the outside

Puke-inducing on the inside

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That one’s not going in the portfolio


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Sorry, I got nothing.

Inevitable

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(except don’t rush to publish)

Inevitable

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Disaster 6: Writer’s block

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You’re screwed.

Classification: GPU

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Free writing

Google

Enigma.io

Mitigate

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Step. Away. From the desk.

Mitigate

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Read something inspiring.

Mitigate

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Disaster 7: The stolen idea (intentional)

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I was desperate!!!!

Hey, look

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Just own it


Stolen blatantly from Walter Chen and everyone else who’s used it

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It’s OK

Inevitable


65 65

If you own it

Inevitable


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Disaster 8: Plagiarism

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…was in 4th grade.

Last time I did this…

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Classification: GPU

69 69

Classification: GPU

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Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Because you suck.

Classification: GPU

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Using a scraper doesn’t make it OK.

Classification: GPU

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It is a bad thing. It is not the sincerest form of flattery.

Avoidable

73 73

Get permission! It’s not that hard!

Avoidable

74 74

Add value. Analyze. Summarize. Expand.

Avoidable

75 75

Disaster 9: Plagiarism (second-hand)

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…but really, what are the odds

Never done this one (as far as I know)

78 78

You could really get into trouble

Classification: GPU I’m being generous here.

Because you’re so young

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A desperate copywriter. That’s what happened.

What happened?

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You could really get into trouble.

Classification: GPU

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For example, someone could call you out in a webinar that’s recorded and placed on Slideshare for all time.

Classification: GPU

82 82

Use the Googles!

Avoidable

83 83

Disaster 10: Telepathy

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…was last week.


85 85

…was last week.


85 85

I… am a loser.


87 87

Disaster 11: The bad comma

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This was me.

Yep.

Best-in-class restroom flight attendant and food service.

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This was me.

Yep.

Best-in-class restroom, flight attendant and food service.

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Oy.

Classification: Bad

Best-in-class restroom flight attendant and food service.

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Maybe read it before you send it

Avoidable

Best-in-class restroom, flight attendant and food service.

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Disaster 12: Autocorrect

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Now you can do it on Twitter, too!

It’s not just for SMS any more

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And potentially stock market-trashing

Classification: Bad

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Read before you send

Avoidable

96 96

Disaster 13: The unsafe structure

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Enjoy a challenge

No, readers do not

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor i

98 98

Just stupid. I shouldn’t get paid.

Classification: Bad

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor i

99 99

No paragraph longer than 6 lines

Avoidable

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in

100 100

No more than 3 paragraphs w/o a break

Avoidable

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Subheading here Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitaCon ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

101 101

How about (useful) images?

Avoidable


102 102

10-15 words/line

Avoidable


103 103

Learn a little typography

Avoidable

104 104

Pearsonified’s Golden Ratio Typography Calculator

105 105

Disaster 14: Giving offense

106 106

This wasn’t me

Actually

107 107

whoa.

Still,

108 108

Just think about whether you want the result you’ll get.

Avoidable?

109 109

And be aware of your cultural context.

Avoidable?

110 110

Also, don’t be an asshole.

Avoidable?

Also, don’t be an asshole.

111 111

Disaster 15: Going passive

112 112

If I get paid by the word

Nice

With our tires, customers will ride with fewer flat tires.

113 113

It’s like I’m talking to you but facing the other way

Classification: Bad


114 114

Use active voice. Talk to the reader.

Easily avoided

Our bicycle tires help you ride with fewer flats.


115 115

Use active voice. Talk to the reader.

Easily avoided

Avoid the plague words

“indeed”

“regardless”

116 116

Disaster 16: Writing angry, or drunk, or whatever

117 117

I don’t think I’ll be hearing from them any time soon

Yikes

118 118

May cause other disasters

Classification: Bad, maybe GPU

119 119

Walk away for a minute

Avoidable

120 120

Disaster 17: Getting your facts wrong

121 121

Sigh.

Let’s just play that back, shall we?

122 122

Ignorance at 500 decibels is still ignorance

Classification: Bad, maybe GPU

123 123

Immediately own up. Fix it. Apologize.

Mitigate

124 124

Mitigate

125 125

Don’t just delete it, unless asked or legally required.

Mitigate

126 126

Disaster 18: Treating your customer like an algorithm

127 127

I won’t believe you.

Don’t tell me you haven’t done this

This great wedding dress uses white chiffon for a dress that’s stylish at any wedding. You won’t find a better wedding dress anywhere else!

128 128

Painful, actually

Classification: Bad

This great wedding dress uses white chiffon for a dress that’s stylish at any wedding. You won’t find a better wedding dress anywhere else!

129 129

It doesn’t work anyway. Give it up.

Avoidable

seriously, I've seen it

before

130 130

Disaster 19: Being mealy-mouthed

131 131

Who am I, Michael Dukakis? Donald Rummesfeld?

Oh, just say it!!!!

I think that, and this is just my opinion, tablets are just a fad.

132 132

What the hell, man.


I think that, and this is just my opinion, tablets are just a fad.

133 133

Just listen to Ogilvy

Avoidable

“Swing for the fences”

134 134

If you don’t smile when you read it, do it again

Avoidable

Tablets are the Apple Newton of 2003.

135 135

If you don’t grimace when you read it, do it again

Avoidable

Tablets are the stupidest idea ever.

136 136

This isn’t trolling. It’s not writing angry. It’s making a statement.

Avoidable

137 137

Disaster 20: Creating a checklist

138 138

before it spreads too far.

We have to stop it

1.  Write 400 words 2.  Use the key phrase 10 times 3.  Make the headline 70 characters 4.  Use one image 5.  Use one list 6.  Write happy! 7.  Smile! Be creative!

139 139

Kind of stupid, really.

Classification: Bad

1.  Write 400 words 2.  Use the key phrase 10 times 3.  Make the headline 70 characters 4.  Use one image 5.  Use one list 6.  Write happy! 7.  Smile! Be creative!

140 140

You need something.

Mitigate

1. When you’re done, read it backwards 2. Make sure at least 1 colleague reads it 3. Wait 1 hour. Reread 4. Publish

141 141

Make repeatable stuff into a checklist.

Mitigate

1. When you’re done, read it backwards 2. Make sure at least 1 colleague reads it 3. Wait 1 hour. Reread 4. Publish

142 142

Disaster 21: Going for perfect

143 143

is waiting for the ‘perfect’ topic

Everything I’ve never written

144 144

is waiting for the ‘perfect’ story


145 145

is waiting for the ‘perfect’ idea


146 146

Get out there and write

147

Created by Ian Lurie, CEO & Founder of Portent, Inc.

Find him @portentint or www.slideshare.net/wrttnwrd

Find his company at www.portent.com

Q&A time!!!

portent.co/20copy

http://portent.co/20copy

http://slideshare.net/wrttnwrd

http://www.twitter.com/portentint

http://portent.co/20copy

148 148

Other presentations by Ian

http://www.slideshare.net/wrttnwrd/one-trick-ponies-get-shot-doing-digital-marketing-right

http://www.slideshare.net/wrttnwrd/weird-usefulsignificant