14528149 dear lover large print

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DEAR LOVER

a womans guide to men, sex, and loves deepestbliss

ByDAVID DEIDA

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword by Marianne Williamson...............................................i

Introduction............................................................................v1: You Are Love.......................................................................1

2: Chocolate Love....................................................................4

3: Yearning Is the Key to Love...................................................9

4: The Gift of Making Love......................................................12

5: Spiritual Sexiness..............................................................18

6: Orgasmic Love..................................................................24

7: Love and Fear...................................................................318: Your Sexual Essence..........................................................38

9: Your True Heart and Its Shells.............................................43

10: Offering or Betraying Your Heart........................................55

11: The Two-Bodied Play of Love.............................................65

12: Loving Larger Than Fear...................................................72

13: Trusting Your Man to Open You..........................................78

14: You Attract Your Reciprocal................................................8215: Why Men Hold Back..........................................................88

16: Your Force of Attraction.....................................................98

17: Your Man Is Your Choice..................................................111

18: Expressing Pleasure and Hurt...........................................122

19: Masculine Insensitivity....................................................130

20: How to Stay Open..........................................................134

21: Opening Beyond an Impasse............................................14322: Ending Relationships and the Him-Shaped Void..................149

23: Three Stages of Loving...................................................157

24: Love Is a Living Art.........................................................167

25: Showing Your Hearts Light in Public..................................173

26: Choosing Abuse and Refusing Love...................................187

27: Wanting to Be Opened....................................................193


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28: A Summary of Trusting and Opening.................................197

29: Goodbye.......................................................................202

David Deida Resources.........................................................205

Finding God Through Sex......................................................206

Blue Truth...........................................................................207

Wild Nights.........................................................................208

Instant Enlightenment..........................................................209

The Enlightened Sex Manual..................................................210

Intimate Communion............................................................211

It's a Guy Thing...................................................................212

AUDIO................................................................................213

The Way of the Superior Man: The Teaching Sessions...............214

About the Author.................................................................215

Back Cover Material..............................................................217


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Foreword by Marianne Williamson

Like many women I know, romantic love is either allI want to talk about, or the last thing I want to talkabout, depending on the hour. When Im in the moodto discuss it, it seems huge and important. When Imnot in the mood, it seems almost neurotic. One thingremains constant, however, regardless of how I viewit: romantic love is a mystery.

While its many things to many people, rarely isromance the caricature we see portrayed in consumeradvertising. It is grittier and more potentially painfulthan a picture of lovers walking the beach wouldindicate. Romance is more than a melodramaticcontainer for alternating energies of bliss and despair,but to say what it is not is not the same thing assaying what it is. And that, perhaps, is because whatit is, is changing. Like everything else, it is finding itsspiritual element. It is rising up to meet us at thelevel of who we really are.

Viewed spiritually, romance is, in its divine essence,a temple space. It is one of Gods laboratories, a mode

of spiritual transformation. It is, when held this way,a sacred opportunity for souls to jump past theconfines of the narrow self, to take quantum leapsforward into new and uncharted emotional possibilities.There love corners us, putting a mirror up to our facesand demanding that we surrender: surrender the hurt,

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surrender the past, surrender the walls, surrenderthe blame, surrender the defenses, surrender the

limits, surrender the fear...

Love is not a game for sissies.

Most women I know are convinced by now, that

spiritual surrender is the portal to love. Yet knowing

that only goes so far. Surrender? we say. I getthe conceptbut show me how! For its not so easy

to surrender to love, when Daddy wasnt really there.

Its not so easy to surrender to love, when someone

we trusted abandoned or betrayed us. And its notso easy to surrender to love when the last relation-

ship left us psychically bleeding for months or even

years.

It can take a lot of emotional effort to learn how toopen the heart when the experience of life has shut

it down. What we had thought were merely temporary

protective mechanisms can become hardened overthe years into entrenched defensive patterns. And

we so grieve the ease and freedom of love.

We remember what we lost when we are readingShakespeares sonnets. We remember what we long

for, reading Elizabeth Barrett Brownings poems to

her beloved Robert. We remember the miracle we

most want in our lives, listening to our favorite music

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late at night, the heart yearning purely andexquisitely for what it most deeply wants.

That yearning itself is a prayer for the kind of wisdom

that David Deida imparts. He is one of our new ro-mantic shamans. Deida is outrageous and blunt and

sometimes over the top. He howls as well as whis-

pers; he confronts as well as comforts. The fire he

carries can either burn or enlighten, depending onour use of it. But if his fiery gift is a gift for you,

then I think that you will know it. You will feel the

parts of you that need his message, and you will feel

yourself eager to receive it. Your mind and heart willrespond to the idea that we can learn how to love in

a more meaningful way, delivering us from the pat-

terns of pain that have plagued our journey so far.

The journey to the heart of God is always the key toour deliverance, regardless of the source of our pain.

But seeing how to apply that understanding is not

always so easy when the pain strikes, the phone doesnot ring, the agreement is broken, or the hope is

shattered. I am a little bit closer to my own love

because I have listened to Deida and read this book.

My heart is freer; may yours be too.

Now sit back on a comfortable pillow. Dim the lights,

except around this book. Say a prayer perhaps, and

ask for the truth that lies beyond the veil. Pray to

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learn about men what you need to learn, that youmight learn to love them as you most long to do.

And then listen with me to the wizard of romance. He

speaks to us of a long lost promise. He speaks oftruth. He speaks of love.

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Introduction

Dear Reader,

I offer the following chapters to you as if you weremy lover. Although you may be single or married, Ioffer these words to you as I would to my beloved.We may never meet, but I want to give you the op-portunity to feel your heart through mine.

For years, I have taught workshops around the world,opening with women and men while they share theirdeepest hearts desires. It seems we often come toknow ourselves most deeply through the heart ofsomeone who loves us, who is willing to open and seeus as we truly are, who is willing to listen and feelour hearts yearning.

To give and receive love fullythis is our hearts truedesire, yours and mine. The yearning you feel in yourheart is the same yearning that everyone feels. Byfeeling your hearts yearning through mine, I hopeyou will come to know yourself more deeply throughthe many hearts that have opened together in trust

and allowed these words to emerge.

All hearts want to open to God, or the boundless flowof divine love. You may or may not be a religiousperson, and still your heart yearns to open withoutbounds, to be seen and to be offered without limits.

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This is what I mean by open to Godto open andfeel everything and everyones heart as a divine ex-

pression of love.

Sexuality is also a divine expression of loveor atleast it could be. As I would offer my heart to my

lover, the following chapters are offered to you so

your heart may open to God, whether you are alone

or in relationship, whether you are making tea ormaking love. My hope is that by feeling your heart

through these words, you will come to know more

deeply how divine love yearns to open through every-

ones heart.

And so, recognizing that our hearts flow open with

the same love, the following chapters are offered to

you as if you were my dear lover.

David Deida

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1

You Are LoveDear lover, when I look into your eyes, I feel yourhearts yearning. Nothing is more beautiful to methan your love. I want to drink your love and diveinto your heart and take you open to God. But Ineed to feel you wanting me to enter you. I wantto feel you let down your guard in trust, just alittle bit, so I can feel your hearts invitation.Please, open so I may claim your heart.

When you feel deep into your heart, you feel love.Most deeply, you are love.

This love shines as light, and so you want to be trulyseen.

This light flows as energy, and so you want to offeryourself completely.

Your heart wants to give and receive love fully. This

is your hearts deepest desire.

Love is openness. This same openness yearns at ev-erybodys heart. You are this love. You are alive aslove, and your entire body yearns to live open as love.Your heart wants nothing more than to live open as

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love, to give yourself totally as loveand to be seenas the love that you are. You long to be claimed,

taken open, surrendered blissfully, so that every

moment of your life is ablaze as the light of loves

passion, an offering of your hearts devotion, andadoration of loves radiant blessing.

In an effort to create safety and self-reliance in your

life and relationships, you may have built walls aroundyour heart and accumulated tension in your body.

Although sometimes these walls of protection are

useful, they can, over time, act like shells of fear that

block your true love. These shells can keep in the loveyou want to offer fully and keep out the love that

your heart yearns to receive deeply.

The secret to unfolding your hearts deepest bliss is

to give and receive love fully, with or without a man.Instead of depending on a man, and instead of

protecting your heart behind walls of accumulated

disappointment, you can learn to open your body asif it were a big heart, vulnerable and full of loves

radiant life-force. And it is this disposition of

openhearted radiance that will gift the world as well

as attract and keep a man capable of actually meetingyour hearts deepest desire.

Right now, is your breath textured as loveare you

inhaling and exhaling with the same open pleasure

you would if your lovers body were pressing against

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yours in delicate mergeror is your breath tense withfearful thoughts of self-survival as well as an

emotional sense of separation, desperation, or

loneliness?

Whether you are alone or in relationship, your spiritual

and sexual bliss require a daily allotment of

whole-body pleasure and deep heart offering, or else

your joy will shrivel like an unwatered plant.

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14528149 dear lover large print

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