14035035 praising and criticizing

7/30/2019 14035035 Praising and Criticizing

1/26

Praising andCriticizing


2/26

People like to be praised, and hate to be

criticized

Its important to appreciate, how to give and

receive praise, compliment and criticism


3/26

Giving Criticism

Reactions to criticism:

Acceptance

Partial acceptance

Failure to take responsibilities

denial


4/26

Criticizing Effectively

Ask Permission:

Ask the persons permission to talk to them dont just

hit them with the bad news

Be Constructive:

Criticism without offering advice or an alternative way

to do things is called destructive.

You may not have to offer advice may be but

always try to point out what they can do.


5/26


Be effective:

Do not criticize someone when they arent listening

Do not criticize if they arent prepared to hear it

Do not criticize if you are not in the right motive


6/26


Be Factual:

Separate them from their behavior

Criticize them in a way that criticizes their behaviors -

what they have done, not who they are.

Never say you are messy or you are thoughtless, they

arent criticism


7/26


Be Focused:

Do not criticize a whole load of things in one fell swoop

Deal with one matter at a time if possible

Raising too much at once is overwhelming

Be Honest:

Do not exaggerating tell it like it is


8/26


Be Open:

Dont tell or ask people to change as we cant make

theme

Just ask them to do things differently, be open to their

efforts

Be Positive:

Balanced view: what they did wrong and what they didright

This can avoid any defensiveness and rejection to our

criticism


9/26


Be Prepared:

Prepare a little script of what to say if necessary

Be Private:

Never criticize people in front of others

Be Realistic

Be realistic to what we expect, do not expect them to

response to our criticism overnight


10/26


Be Receptive:

Let the other person have a saycriticism neednt (and

shouldnt) one - sided

Be Specific:

Tell exactly what is wrongif people dont understand

exactly what is wrong, they are lee likely to be able to put

things right


11/26


Be Sympathetic but Firm:

Listen to the other person but stick to our gun if criticism is

jus justified

Be Timely:

Do not wait too long before dealing with issues. Waiting too

long trivializes the matter and may be forgotten already


12/26

Receiving Criticism

Acceptance:

If criticism is founded in fact and you are responsible, then

accept it graciously

Partial Acceptance:

If part of criticism is fair and founded in fact, accept that

part only and make it clear to you that you dont accept the

rest


13/26

Receiving Criticism

Failure to take responsibilities:

If the criticism is something that isnt your fault, but was

caused by another party, you have the option to take the

responsibilities yourself an deal with the other personafterwards or not to take any responsibilities.

Denial:

If the criticism in untrue of the facts are wrong, say so.There is no need to argue, just state the truth calmly and

logically.


14/26

Dealing with Criticism you accept

Be balanced:

If criticism is founded in fact and you are responsible, then

accept it graciously

Be Calm:

Try to stay calm, so you can discuss things rationally and

not emotionally


15/26


Be Receptive:

You should welcome constructive criticism as a means of

finding out how you can improve.

Be Specific:

You are being criticised for what youve done and not for

who you are


16/26


Deal with exaggeration:

If the criticism is founded in fact but has been

exaggerated, ignore the exaggeration. Exaggeration

may lead to end less argumentation.

Acknowledge and accept the truth and ignore the

exaggeration.


17/26


Dont get defensive:

Being defensive and snapping back at someone usually

leads to an argument and that isnt sensible way to

achieve anything.


18/26


Dont be submissive:

Dont just give in and accept criticism . If its unfounded

or incorrect or unfair, say so. Say you disagree.

No need to start an argument, just state your own side

of things clearly, calmly.


19/26


Use Facts, not emotions:

Dont get emotional or talk in emotional term. This

will help other not to get emotional, either, and keep

things on an even keel.


20/26


Question if necessary

If you dont understand what is being raised, say so.

Ask for clarification.

If you dont see where the criticism comes from, ask for

specific example.

If the criticism seems very personal, ask why the

comments are being made.


21/26


Thank Them

This is HARD but VERY IMPORTANT thanks the

person for pointing out the things they have raised.

It lets them know you are approachable.


22/26

GIVING PRAISE AND COMPLIMENTS

Be Honest

People will sense a false compliment and it will causefriction.

Only give genuine praise and complimentdont fib.

Be Specific

you did really well is nice but sound insincere does nothelp the person know exactly why and how they did well.

Say I like the why you did xxxx instead.


23/26

GIVING PRAISE AND COMPLIMENTS

Dont put yourself down.

Dont talk about yourself and the person you arecomplimenting at the same time. Give them the complimentin their own right, not as measure of how they compare

with you

Keep your tone light

Compliment sounds insincere if they are said too

enthusiastically.

Just state the compliment clearly and nicelydont over doit.


24/26

RECEIVING PRAISE AND COMPLIMENTS

Dont argue

If someone compliments you, dont argue with them. Its

easy to say NO, this short comment just makes thecomplimenter feel silly and discourage.

Dont question them.

Questioning them is rude and makes them feel bad. They

dont have to justify saying something good.


25/26

RECEIVING PRAISE AND COMPLIMENTS

If you are suspicious, question

If you have that sneaking suspicion that the person is notreally serious, but is making a point, ask them what theymean.

If they are devious it will become apparent

If they are genuine, just accept gracefully.

Thank them

Just say thank you after the compliment, no need to satanything else.


26/26

14035035 praising and criticizing

Documents