10 things extraordinary people say every day

25
<img src="http://b.scorecardresearch.com/p? c1=2&c2=6916907&c3=&c4=&c5=&c6=&c15=&cj=1" /> Using a mobile device? Go to <a href="http://m.inc.com">m.inc.com</a> for our mobile version. CLO SE <a href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/mansueto.inc/runbiz;sz=1x1;po s=top;dcove=d;tile=1;dcopt=ist;lan=en;c_type=article;cms=inc46093; chn=runbiz;aut=jeff-haden;ord=123456789?" target="_blank"><img src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/mansueto.inc/runbiz;sz=1x1;pos=t op;dcove=d;tile=1;dcopt=ist;lan=en;c_type=article;cms=inc46093;chn =runbiz;aut=jeff-haden;ord=123456789?" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt=""/></a> FOLLOW INC. ON: Login or signup Welcome | Logout Home

Upload: alonso-lazarin-arias

Post on 12-May-2017

217 views

Category:

Documents


1 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

<img src="http://b.scorecardresearch.com/p?c1=2&c2=6916907&c3=&c4=&c5=&c6=&c15=&cj=1" />

Using a mobile device? Go to <a href="http://m.inc.com">m.inc.com</a> for our mobile version.

CLOSE

<a href="http://ad.doubleclick.net/jump/mansueto.inc/runbiz;sz=1x1;pos=top;dcove=d;tile=1;dcopt=ist;lan=en;c_type=article;cms=inc46093;chn=runbiz;aut=jeff-haden;ord=123456789?" target="_blank"><img src="http://ad.doubleclick.net/ad/mansueto.inc/runbiz;sz=1x1;pos=top;dcove=d;tile=1;dcopt=ist;lan=en;c_type=article;cms=inc46093;chn=runbiz;aut=jeff-haden;ord=123456789?" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt=""/></a>

FOLLOW INC. ON:

Login or signup

Welcome

| Logout

Home

Magazine

Tools & Research

How-to

Page 2: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Videos

Events

Newsletters

Inc. Advisor

Inc. Deals

Subscriptions

Principio del formulario

Final del formulario

STARTUP

Writing A Business Plan

Running A Home-Based Business

Naming a Business

How to Incorporate

Financing a Small Business

Buying a Small Business

partner-pub-9871 FORID:11 ISO-8859-1 Search Inc.com

Page 3: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Franchises

RUNNING A BUSINESS

How I Did It

Growth Strategies

Office and Operations

Legal Issues

Industries

Best of Inc 2012

FINANCE

Basic Accounting

Budgets

Pricing Strategy

Financing A Small Business

Business Taxes

Selling A Business

Insurance

Bookkeeping

Exit Strategies

Personal Finance

LEADERSHIP & MANAGING

Leadership

Strategy and Planning

Human Resources (HR)

Employee Benefits

SALES & MARKETING

Sales

Page 4: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Marketing

Branding

Online Marketing

Advertising

Customers

TECHNOLOGY

Internet and Online Business

Hardware

Business Software

Computer Security

Telecom and Wireless

Inc. Wire

INNOVATION

Managing Creativity

Research & Development

Intellectual Property

Bringing Innovation to Market

World's Coolest Offices

INC.500|5000

The 2012 Inc. 5000 List

The 2012 Top Lists

Inc. 500|5000 Conference

Honorees Resources

Topics > Running a Business >

OWNERS' MANUAL | Jeff Haden

Jan 9, 2013

Page 5: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

They're small things, but each has the power to dramatically change someone's day. Including yours.

Getty

1,547inShare

clipped

Connect with Evernote:

Please Login to Connect Your Account with Evernote

Want to make a huge difference in someone's life? Here are things you should say every day to your employees, colleagues, family members, friends, and everyone you care about:

"Here's what I'm thinking."

You're in charge, but that doesn't mean you're smarter, savvier, or more insightful than everyone else. Back up your statements and decisions. Give reasons. Justify with logic, not with position or authority.

Though taking the time to explain your decisions opens those decisions up to discussion or criticism, it also opens up your decisions to improvement.

Page 6: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Authority can make you "right," but collaboration makes everyone right--and makes everyone pull together.

"I was wrong."

I once came up with what I thought was an awesome plan to improve overall productivity by moving a crew to a different shift on an open production line. The inconvenience to the crew was considerable, but the payoff seemed worth it. On paper, it was perfect.

In practice, it wasn't.

So, a few weeks later, I met with the crew and said, "I know you didn't think this would work, and you were right. I was wrong. Let's move you back to your original shift."

I felt terrible. I felt stupid. I was sure I'd lost any respect they had for me.

It turns out I was wrong about that, too. Later one employee said, "I didn't really know you, but the fact you were willing to admit you were wrong told me everything I needed to know."

When you're wrong, say you're wrong. You won't lose respect--you'll gain it.

"That was awesome."

No one gets enough praise. No one. Pick someone--pick anyone--who does or did something well and say, "Wow, that was great how you..."

And feel free to go back in time. Saying "Earlier, I was thinking about how you handled that employee issue last month..." can make just as positive an impact today as it would have then. (It could even make a bigger impact, because it shows you still remember what happened last month, and you still think about it.)

Praise is a gift that costs the giver nothing but is priceless to the recipient. Start praising. The people around you will love you for it--and you'll like yourself a little better, too.

"You're welcome."

Think about a time you gave a gift and the recipient seemed uncomfortable or awkward. Their reaction took away a little of the fun for you, right?

The same thing can happen when you are thanked or complimented or praised. Don't spoil the moment or the fun for the other person. The spotlight may make you feel uneasy or insecure, but all you have to do is make eye contact and say, "Thank you." Or make eye contact and say, "You're welcome. I was glad to do it."

Don't let thanks, congratulations, or praise be all about you. Make it about the other person, too.

"Can you help me?"

Page 7: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

When you need help, regardless of the type of help you need or the person you need it from, just say, sincerely and humbly, "Can you help me?"

I promise you'll get help. And in the process you'll show vulnerability, respect, and a willingness to listen--which, by the way, are all qualities of a great leader.

And are all qualities of a great friend.

"I'm sorry."

We all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for: words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, show support...

Say you're sorry.

But never follow an apology with a disclaimer like "But I was really mad, because..." or "But I did think you were..." or any statement that in any way places even the smallest amount of blame back on the other person.

Say you're sorry, say why you're sorry, and take all the blame. No less. No more.

Then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts.

"Can you show me?"

Advice is temporary; knowledge is forever. Knowing what to do helps, but knowing how or why to do it means everything.

When you ask to be taught or shown, several things happen: You implicitly show you respect the person giving the advice; you show you trust his or her experience, skill, and insight; and you get to better assess the value of the advice.

Don't just ask for input. Ask to be taught or trained or shown.

Then you both win.

"Let me give you a hand."

Many people see asking for help as a sign of weakness. So, many people hesitate to ask for help.

But everyone needs help.

Don't just say, "Is there anything I can help you with?" Most people will give you a version of the reflexive "No, I'm just looking" reply to sales clerks and say, "No, I'm all right."

Be specific. Find something you can help with. Say "I've got a few minutes. Can I help you finish that?" Offer in a way that feels collaborative, not patronizing or gratuitous. Model the behavior you want your employees to display.

Page 8: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Then actually roll up your sleeves and help.

"I love you."

No, not at work, but everywhere you mean it--and every time you feel it.

Nothing.

Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. If you're upset, frustrated, or angry, stay quiet. You may think venting will make you feel better, but it never does.

That's especially true where your employees are concerned. Results come and go, but feelings are forever. Criticize an employee in a group setting and it will seem like he eventually got over it, but inside, he never will.

Before you speak, spend more time considering how employees will think and feel than you do evaluating whether the decision makes objective sense. You can easily recover from a mistake made because of faulty data or inaccurate projections.

You'll never recover from the damage you inflict on an employee's self-esteem.

Be quiet until you know exactly what to say--and exactly what affect your words will have.

Read more:

8 Things Wildly Successful People Do

An Unlikely Road to $1 Billion: Fisker

7 Ways to Be a Stress-Free Workaholic

Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. Everything else he picks up from ghostwriting books for some of the smartest leaders he knows in business. @jeff_haden

Page 9: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

POST TO: FACEBOOK TWITTER LINKEDIN

Ibanga Ibanga · Friday at 3:51am

Thanks Jeff. Really factual.

LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

Bakul Kaushik · Thursday at 4:05am

These are the things that we know, but didn't know actually when and where to use. Thank you Jeff !

LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

Amber King · Thursday at 12:41am

Another wonderful post Jeff. These are really simple words but its impact on people is amazing. Thank you for sharing this.

LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

Page 10: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

leandrepierre · Thursday at 12:32am

Good article, many different points for different scenarios, situation and circumstances. I have learned that been honest and humble is the best trait.

LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

jmuschamp55 · Wednesday at 6:00pm

Great reminder, Jeff. All too often we neglect the simple things which will be a huge help toward success and happiness. I actually listed your post in a '5 Tips' blog post of my own: http://www.lemonzestmarketing.com/zestyourlifeblog.php?s=improve-your-life-with-these-5-tips

LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

Max-Marc Fossouo · Wednesday at 4:03pm

I lke reading you Jeff and as usual nice post! What about please and thank you?

1 LIKES | LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

Katheren Sabuero · Thursday at 5:27pm

yes Jeff, how about these two words :-) i thought ii saw it on the list :-)

LIKE | REPLY

SHARE ON:

VIEW MORE COMMENTS

Special Report

30 Under 30: Accepting Applications Now

Page 11: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Are you a superstar entrepreneur younger than 30? Or know someone else who is? Apply today!

ADVERTISEMENT

Most Viewed

6 Things Really Productive People Do

Tony Hsieh: 'Hiring Mistakes Cost Zappos.com $100 Million'

Tony Hsieh Would Do One Thing Differently (Hire)

Tony Hsieh: 'I Fire Those Who Don't Fit Our Company Culture'

Freshii Founder's 5-Point Leadership Manifesto

12 Great Motivational Quotes for 2013

6 Habits of Remarkably Likeable People

9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier

9 Mistakes You're Making on LinkedIn

Deciding Whether Your Business Needs a Mobile App

5 Things That Really Smart People Do

Give Prospective Hires a Tryout

Become a Master Networker: 5 Quick Tips

8 Beliefs That Make You More Resilient

Super Charge Your Energy at Work: 10 Ways

15 Seconds to a Better Presentation

The No-Nonsense Guide to Successful Business Networking

5 Trends to Ignore in 2013

Top 5 Skills Every Leader Must Have

5 Ways to Prepare for an Amazing 2013

FROM OUR PARTNERS

Page 12: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Still recruiting with Excel & Outl... PCRecruiter is the logical next step, and the transition is easy. Try it today!

www.PCRecruiter.net

Buy a Link Now

ADVERTISEMENT

Select Services

Smarty Pants

Maryland – #1 in Innovation & Entrepreneurship

Deluxe

From websites to printing to marketing, our expertise at your command.

More On Inc.com

World's Coolest Offices

30 Under 30

Founders Forum

How I Did It

The Playbook

These brilliantly inspiring workplaces have sprawling rooftop gardens, bright atriums, and lots and lots of exposed brick.

Read more

Page 13: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

World's 20 Coolest Offices

Read more

Twitter Grows Up: Tour the New Office

Read more

Page 14: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

7 Creative Home Office Space Savers

Read more

Facebook's New Campus: Like or Dislike?

Read more

How Quid Built a Beautiful Start-up Office on a Dime

Read more

The 2012 list includes the founders of Pinterest, Spotify, and 28 other awesome, visionary outfits. You gotta meet them.

Read more

Page 15: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

The 30 Coolest Entrepreneurs Under 30

Read more

Watch Videos and Cast Your Vote!

Read more

Meet Inc.'s 30 Under 30, Class of 2012

Read more

30 Under 30 Alumni: Where Are They Now?

Page 16: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Read more

8 Best Apps From Inc.'s Coolest Young Entrepreneurs

Read more

Inside the minds of the world's great entrepreneurs.

Read more

Richard Branson: Knight of Big Ideas

Read more

Danny Meyer Talks About Employees, Investors, Competitors & His Dad

Read more

Page 17: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

David Tisch: How to Launch a Great Start-up

Read more

Naveen Jain Talks Innovation & Entrepreneurship

Read more

Fix Your Mistakes: Danny Meyer's 5-Step Plan

Read more

Top entrepreneurs reflect on the most decisive moment in their path to success.

Read more

Page 18: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Disaster on Everest: An Entrepreneur Learns Perseverance

Read more

When Gangsters Tried to Extort Brooklyn Brewery

Read more

Too Sexy? 'No VC Wanted to Touch Me With a Barge Pole'

Read more

How Education Entrepreneur Chris Whittle Disproved Skeptics

Read more

Emotional Story of Reddit's Start & Sale

Read more

Learn by doing--or from those who have done it before. Watch Inc.'s how-to videos.

Page 20: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Entertain Your Audience: 3 Essentials of Compelling Videos

Read more

Don't Delete Negative Comments. Say 'I'm Sorry'

Read more

Today on Inc.com

When Kickstarter Investors Want Their Money Back

Working Hard? Crank That Music

Page 21: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

An Absurdly Easy Negotiating Trick

One Huge Step Every Great Boss Takes

5 Seemingly-Small Secrets to Growing Your Business

Home

Magazine

Contact Us

About Us

Advertise

Events

Legal Disclaimers

Page 22: 10 Things Extraordinary People Say Every Day

Privacy Policies

Subscribe

Business Owners Council

Copyright © 2013 Mansueto Ventures LLC. All rights reserved.