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CM 220College Composition II

Unit 9: Presenting Your “Big Idea” to the World

Instructor Ciccarone

General Education, CompositionKaplan University

ReadingInvention LabThe Final Project

Assignments

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Unit 9 Reading

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• The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing, ch. 14 (196-204) and ch. 17

• Review the website for Food, Inc.

• Review the selected Writing Center resources (see the Extra, Extra! tab for links)

Invention Lab

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• Describe a common editing concern you have (passive voice, apostrophes, commas, fragments) and how the selection from The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing or the Writing Center helped clarify any questions you had.  

• Discuss any other challenges you face as you revise and edit your portfolio this week and prepare the multi-modal component of your final project.

• Respond to two classmates. Note resources that might help your classmate address the challenges mentioned in the post and mention any questions you still have about your classmate’s big idea.

The Final Project Portfolio

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• 5-7 page revision of draft (unit 6)• Revision of letter to editor (unit 5

invention lab)• Revision of tech presentation (unit 7

invention lab)• Responses to reflection questions

Reminders

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• The 5-7 length is just for the essay; this does not include the title and references page, letter to editor, presentation, or reflection questions.

• The letter to the editor will be approximately ½ to 1 page, as will the responses to the reflection questions.

• Put all components in one Word document unless you need to post a separate file for the presentation (such as a Power Point). If you have an external link, include that in the Word document. See the sample posted in the unit 9 folder of Doc Sharing.

• Review the grading rubric and assignment instructions carefully! See the correct rubric in Doc Sharing (unit 9 folder).

Guidelines for Essay

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• Essay must be a SUBSTANTIAL revision of the draft you wrote in unit 6. Simply adding a few sentences is not sufficient.

• Arguments should be defended-remember that the goal in persuasion is to convince your audience of the value of your position.

• Consider and respond to counter arguments

• Aim for strong, clear, readable sentences.

Guidelines for Letter to Editor

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• You will revise the letter to the editor (or formal message to another audience) you wrote for the unit 5 invention lab.

• Take into account questions raised by your instructor and classmates as you revise the message. How can you make it more compelling for your audience?

Guidelines for Multi-Modal/Tech Presentation

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• The audience for this presentation of your ideas is WIDER than the audience of your actual paper.

• How will this affect the presentation of information?• Remember to take into account the suggestions you

received in unit 7. • Have at least 5 specific facts/ideas supported with

evidence.• Be sure to cite sources. You can have those listed on your

main References page.

Reflection Questions

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• What did you learn about yourself as a writer? As a thinker?

• What did you learn about the process of writing?

• What skills did you develop that might help you in the future?

• What did you take from the larger conversation with others?

• How did your feedback from peers and your instructor affect the revision of your blueprint, letter to the editor, and presentation?

• Write responses in paragraph form.

Food, Inc.

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• Analyze the audience and purpose of this presentation of information.

• What is the purpose and how is it accomplished?

• How is the audience addressed?• How does the METHOD of presentation

affect how this information is given to the audience?

The Paramedic MethodSeven Steps for Revision

Editing Sentences

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Paramedic Revision

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• Paramedic Revision is a sentence level revision strategy that helps to make writing more clear and concise.

• It revives tired, wordy, and awkward sentences and makes them more readable

Steps

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• Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)

• Draw a box around the "is" verb forms• Ask, "Where's the action?"• Change the "action" into a simple verb• Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking

whom)• Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups• Eliminate any redundancies. (“Paramedic

Revision,” 2010).

An Example

• Who is doing the acting? What is the action?

• Are there any unnecessary phrases?

• Could any prepositional phrases be more concise?

• Actor: Employees • Action: Need • Direct object: manager

The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money.

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Revision

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•This company’s employees need a better money manager.

Try revising this. . .

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• After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures.

Seven Steps (The Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing, pp. 196-204)

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1. Choose verbs carefully--they convey the action in your paper and should be vivid and compelling.

Highlight being verbs (am, is, are, was, be, etc.). Try to eliminate as many as possible since they are considered "weak" verbs.

Highlight "to have" verbs (has, have, had). Again, try to remove those.

Try to choose active, vigorous verbs whenever possible.

Seven Steps

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2. Take out unnecessary prepositions.

3. Make sure sentence lengths vary. You don't want too many very long or very short sentences.

4. Make sure all pronouns (it, they, everyone, etc.) have a clear reference.

Seven Steps

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5. Try to limit the use of pronouns who, which, and that.

6. Limit the use of "qualifier" words like really, every, very.

7. Take out cliches (children are our future, etc.)

Editing

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Let’s try revising sent-ences from your drafts

• Try out this quiz for eliminating wordiness:

• http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/quizzes/nova/nova8.htm

Questions?

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• Let’s open the seminar up to any questions you may have about the final project requirements.

• Remember that there is NO seminar in unit 10, but we will have a final chance to share projects and discuss the Big Ideas you have all proposed this term!