11Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways.walk in his ways.

22You will eat the fruit of your labor; You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.blessings and prosperity will be yours.

Psalm 128Psalm 128

33Your wife will be like a fruitful vine Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.like olive shoots around your table.

44Thus is the man blessed who fears the Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.LORD.

55May the LORD bless you from Zion all May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem,prosperity of Jerusalem,

66and may you live to see your children's and may you live to see your children's children.children.

Peace be upon Israel.Peace be upon Israel.

HOW SHOULD A HUSBAND HOW SHOULD A HUSBAND LOVE HIS WIFE?LOVE HIS WIFE?

(Ephesians 5:25-33)(Ephesians 5:25-33)

……It was Emerson who wrote, “the whole world It was Emerson who wrote, “the whole world loves a story.” If this is true, and I think it is, loves a story.” If this is true, and I think it is, then the whole world really loves a then the whole world really loves a lovelove story. The greatest love story of all is the story. The greatest love story of all is the love of God our Father who gave His only love of God our Father who gave His only Son so that we might have everlasting life. Son so that we might have everlasting life.

God, not Romeo, is the God, not Romeo, is the greatestgreatest lover of all lover of all time.time.

……The Bible tells us that HUSBANDS The Bible tells us that HUSBANDS ought to reflect such a love for their ought to reflect such a love for their wives. A wife wives. A wife needsneeds to be deeply loved to be deeply loved by her husband, and a husband is by her husband, and a husband is designed to be her lover.designed to be her lover.

……We hear much about We hear much about lovelove in our day, in our day, but what does this love really look like? but what does this love really look like? Paul, in describing what it means to Paul, in describing what it means to walk with the Lord, unfolds in detail the walk with the Lord, unfolds in detail the role of the Christian husband. role of the Christian husband.

He is to He is to submitsubmit to his wife by loving to his wife by loving her.her.

A FOURFOLD DESCRIPTION A FOURFOLD DESCRIPTION UNFOLDING THE LOVE THAT UNFOLDING THE LOVE THAT YOU, AS A HUSBAND, MUST YOU, AS A HUSBAND, MUST

HAVE FOR YOUR WIFE.HAVE FOR YOUR WIFE.

……For your primary role to her is not For your primary role to her is not to be the leader, but to be her lover! to be the leader, but to be her lover! She will flourish if you love her as She will flourish if you love her as

such.such.

I.I. You Must Love Her With You Must Love Her With A A SacrificialSacrificial Love. Love.

(v. 25)(v. 25)

A.A. Your love must not be the Your love must not be the domineering kind of love, but one of domineering kind of love, but one of self-sacrifice.self-sacrifice.

B.B. JesusJesus is our example in this. The is our example in this. The Lord Jesus loved the church, and Lord Jesus loved the church, and demonstrated this love by giving demonstrated this love by giving Himself in death for her.Himself in death for her.

……1 John 3:16 “By this we know love, 1 John 3:16 “By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.”because He laid down His life for us.”

……A husband’s sacrificial love is A husband’s sacrificial love is described as: not for what she can described as: not for what she can dodo for him, but what he can do for her. for him, but what he can do for her. This is the love of Christ. It is self-This is the love of Christ. It is self-denying.denying.

C.C. Remember, love is not a Remember, love is not a feelingfeeling, it is , it is an act of the will. Here’s the proof, an act of the will. Here’s the proof, God commands husbands to love. God commands husbands to love.

C.C. God is calling husbands to a God is calling husbands to a deliberate, deliberate, voluntaryvoluntary love, not a love, not a feeling they have no control over. feeling they have no control over.

Every husband Every husband owesowes his wife love, his his wife love, his commitment to her welfare.commitment to her welfare.

……For a husband to protest, “I can’t love For a husband to protest, “I can’t love my wife,” is sheer my wife,” is sheer rebellionrebellion against against God’s command.God’s command.

……It is not a question of deserving. Love It is not a question of deserving. Love is is notnot earned. We did not deserve earned. We did not deserve Christ’s love… Christ’s love…

D.D. Peter adds (1 Peter 3:7) that a Peter adds (1 Peter 3:7) that a husband’s love for his wife needs to husband’s love for his wife needs to be: be: considerateconsiderate, chivalrous, and with , chivalrous, and with sweet communion. (Song of Sol 5:16) sweet communion. (Song of Sol 5:16) “This is my beloved, my friend.” “This is my beloved, my friend.”

II.II. You Must Love Her With You Must Love Her With A Purifying Love.A Purifying Love.

(vv. 26-27)(vv. 26-27)

A.A. The love husbands are commanded to The love husbands are commanded to show their wives is a love that seeks show their wives is a love that seeks and and protectsprotects the purity of its object. the purity of its object. “love protects”“love protects”

B.B. Jesus’ love for the church Jesus’ love for the church drivesdrives Him Him to make her pure. (v. 26) to make her pure. (v. 26)

He is making her without stain and He is making her without stain and without without flawflaw. PURE!!!!. PURE!!!!

C.C. ““When a man love his wife, her purity When a man love his wife, her purity should be his supreme concern.” should be his supreme concern.” (MacArthur) No one ever desired to (MacArthur) No one ever desired to defiledefile a person whom he really loved. a person whom he really loved.

……A young man who says he loves his A young man who says he loves his fiancée but wants her to have sex with fiancée but wants her to have sex with him before marriage is not driven by him before marriage is not driven by love at all, it is love at all, it is lustlust. Love honors and . Love honors and protects the purity of its object.protects the purity of its object.

……Husbands, don’t do Husbands, don’t do anythinganything that that would defile your wives…includes would defile your wives…includes sexual filth, don’t embitter her so that sexual filth, don’t embitter her so that she falls to the temptation of she falls to the temptation of angeranger, , etc. You should be an example of etc. You should be an example of purity…purity…

……Most of all, men, Most of all, men, exposeexpose your wife to your wife to the Word of God. the Word of God.

Such will cleanse and Such will cleanse and keepkeep clean… clean…

III.III. You Must Love Her With You Must Love Her With A A CaringCaring Love. Love.

(vv. 28-30)(vv. 28-30)

A.A. You must love her as you already love You must love her as you already love your your ownown body. (v. 28) What does it body. (v. 28) What does it mean to love your own body?mean to love your own body?

It means to It means to carecare for it. If it is hungry, for it. If it is hungry, you feed it. If it is thirsty, you give it a you feed it. If it is thirsty, you give it a drink. drink.

If it is sick, you put it in If it is sick, you put it in bedbed, etc., etc.

B.B. Just as you are preoccupied with Just as you are preoccupied with meeting your own needs, so meet the meeting your own needs, so meet the needsneeds of your wife. of your wife.

……for you are now “one flesh.” So now for you are now “one flesh.” So now her needs are her needs are yoursyours. She needs to be . She needs to be cared for.cared for.

IV.IV. You Must Love Her With A You Must Love Her With A Permanent-Enduring Love. Permanent-Enduring Love.

(5:31ff)(5:31ff)

A.A. Just as Christ’s love for us is Just as Christ’s love for us is unbreakable, so your love for her unbreakable, so your love for her must be must be withoutwithout end. end.

B.B. God has designed marriage to God has designed marriage to involve: “leaving and cleaving.”involve: “leaving and cleaving.”

1.1. ““leaving” is an intense verb leaving” is an intense verb meaning to leave behind or meaning to leave behind or utterlyutterly abandon. This is vital…abandon. This is vital…

2.2. ““cleaving” means to be joined cleaving” means to be joined together or ‘together or ‘gluedglued.’ This new union is .’ This new union is supposed to be unbreakable. supposed to be unbreakable.

It is the It is the picturepicture of Christ and His of Christ and His bride, the church.bride, the church.

Practical Ways For A Practical Ways For A Husband To Love His WifeHusband To Love His Wife

……Dr EggerichsDr Eggerichs

I.I. Your wife feels close to you Your wife feels close to you when:when:……you hold her handyou hold her hand……you hug heryou hug her……you are affectionate without sexual you are affectionate without sexual intentionsintentions……you are with her alone so you can you are with her alone so you can focus on each other and laugh focus on each other and laugh togethertogether

……you do anything that results in you do anything that results in togetherness…go for a walk, jog…togetherness…go for a walk, jog…

……you seek her out…set up a dateyou seek her out…set up a date

……you make it a priority to spend time you make it a priority to spend time with herwith her

……you suggest the unexpectedyou suggest the unexpected

II.II. Your wife feels you are open with her Your wife feels you are open with her when:when:

……when you share your feelings, when you share your feelings, telling about your day and difficultiestelling about your day and difficulties

……when your face shows you want to when your face shows you want to talk, good eye contact is a musttalk, good eye contact is a must

……when you pray with herwhen you pray with her

……when you say, “let’s talk,” asking her when you say, “let’s talk,” asking her what she is feeling, ask for her what she is feeling, ask for her opinionsopinions

……when you give her your full when you give her your full attention…no grunting responses while attention…no grunting responses while reading or watching TVreading or watching TV

III.III. Your wife feel you’re trying to Your wife feel you’re trying to understand her when:understand her when:

……when you listen, and don’t try to fix when you listen, and don’t try to fix her problemsher problems

……when you never dismiss her when you never dismiss her feelingsfeelings

……when you don’t interrupt her when when you don’t interrupt her when she is telling you how she feelsshe is telling you how she feels

……when you apologize and admit you when you apologize and admit you were wrongwere wrong

……when you pray with her and for herwhen you pray with her and for her

……when you express appreciation for all when you express appreciation for all she does, “Honey, I could never do she does, “Honey, I could never do your job.”your job.”

IV.IV. Your wife will feel at peace with you Your wife will feel at peace with you when:when:

……when you let her vent her when you let her vent her frustrations and hurts and don’t get frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her offangry and close her off

……when you apologize and ask for when you apologize and ask for her forgivenessher forgiveness

……when you try to keep your when you try to keep your relationship up-to-date, resolving the relationship up-to-date, resolving the unresolved and never say “forget it”unresolved and never say “forget it”……when you forgive her for any wrongs when you forgive her for any wrongs she confessesshe confesses……when you never nurse bitterness and when you never nurse bitterness and always assure her of you lovealways assure her of you love……when you pray with her after a hurtful when you pray with her after a hurtful timetime

V.V. Your wife will be assured of your Your wife will be assured of your loyalty when:loyalty when:

……when you speak highly of her in when you speak highly of her in front of othersfront of others

……when you are involved in things when you are involved in things important to herimportant to her

……when you don’t look lustfully at when you don’t look lustfully at other womenother women

……when you make her and your when you make her and your marriage a prioritymarriage a priority

……when you call her and let her know when you call her and let her know your plansyour plans

VI.VI. Your wife will feel esteemed when:Your wife will feel esteemed when:

……when you open the door for herwhen you open the door for her

……when you say, “I am so proud of when you say, “I am so proud of the way you handled that.”the way you handled that.”

……when you try something new with when you try something new with herher

……when you give her encouragement or when you give her encouragement or praise with kindness and enthusiasmpraise with kindness and enthusiasm

……when you notice something different when you notice something different about her hair or clothesabout her hair or clothes

……when you are physically affectionate when you are physically affectionate with her in publicwith her in public

……when you teach your children to when you teach your children to show her and others respectshow her and others respect

……when you make her feel first in when you make her feel first in importanceimportance

……when you are proud of her and all when you are proud of her and all she doesshe does