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    Pesalo

    Publications

    Presents100

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    : () : :

    : :

    : :

    : Copyright 2009 Pesalo Bhikkhu

    : ( )

    : [email protected]

    : /

    : ---Dhammaintrend

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    100 Collected (No) Secret StoriesCollected: Pesalo BhikkhuTranslations (Thai / English): Preeyaporn CharoenbutraPraichon Intanucitta, Puttaporn Suvannakul,S.JungsuttiwongDesign: Manaee MeemuaCover Design & Illustration: Neo CaravadaEnglish Edited: Bhikkhu ZFirst printed: May 2009Edition: 1,000 copies

    Copyright 2009 Pesalo BhikkhuAll rights reserved. Any reproduction, in whole or part,In any form, for sale, prot or gain, is prohibited.However, copies of this book, or permission to reprintFor free distribution, may be obtained upon notication

    from: Pesalo Bhikkhu, E-mail: [email protected]

    Printed by Pornpatsin Ltd., Part.Bangkok, Thailand.Tel. 0-2330-9005-6

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    !

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    Its light but exciting.There are a few things that lead me

    to pick up a Dhamma bookfor the rst time to read.

    These are: it is light, the title inviting,and the cover eye-catching.

    But, so often that thin book containslong stories and difcult words.

    Sometimes, I go back to my textbooks

    to search for translation,and when I come to the end,Ive forgetten what was in there

    that applied to my life.

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    About 100; it is a cute little Dhamma book,Its short sentences give us spaceto examine and enjoy their meaning.100 is suitable for fast-paced livesof all ages. School children can readone chapter a day, while working peoplecan read on the bus in to work.There might be a chapterthat catches their heart, prompting review

    and reection, on the way back.And perhaps one or two might help usget through one of those daywhere were stuck in our lives.

    Puttaporn Suvannakul.March 2009 / Sydney Australia.

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    (Tea Time ..) ?

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    /

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    There is no secret in here.A lay person once asked me, which topics

    monks normally talk aboutat their daily tea time.

    I replied, New monks talk about old stuffwhile the old monks talk about

    the new stuff.

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    Most of the stories in this book werecollected from conversations which tookplace at various tea times. It is an hour inwhich monastics come together for anafternoon drink in a relaxed environmentand share stories and experiences withtheir friends. Experiences of each personare told as if fresh and new, perhapsa scary story or one so funny that you

    laugh to tears. If we relate these stories tothe practice of Dhamma, they cansometimes be quite insightful or inspiring.That is why I have made the effort to putthese stories together as an experiment.

    Pesalo BhikkhuFebruary 2009 / Chonburi Province, Thailand

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    ...

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    I dedicate this book to my nephewsand nieces who just arrive in this world.

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    ?

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    Thai students always feel very embarrassedand stunned when asked by students fromdifferent countries, this question: What doBuddhists believe in?

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    Its become a wide-spread fashion amongstGerman phys ics s tudents , to referto philosophies of Buddhism in their thesis. Itmakes a statement about their high-level ofintellect.

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    Life insurance companies will reduceinsurance premiums for people who canprove that they are prayed for, or wishedwell on a regular basis. There is evidencefrom research indicating that people whoreceive these good wishes have a lesserchance to get in an accident or suffer illnessthan those who never receive such prayersfrom anyone.

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    During the campaign for the US presidentialelection period, there was a man who askedthe Dalai Lama, Who will win the campaign?He answered that the person with more purityof moral conduct will be the true victor.

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    !!

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    A novice from a western country had therm opinion that Both heaven and hell trulyexist only in the mind. Now, having ordainedas a monk and practiced the Dhamma formany years, his opinion has changed. Henow believes that both places certainlyexist!!

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    The Tao of Pooh*

    *Winnie The Pooh Benjamin Hoff.

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    An English monk received his early inspirationregarding Buddhism from the book named,The Tao of Pooh, which his mother gavehim on his birthday. She had thought that itwas just a cartoon book for kids.

    *The book on Taoism was written by BenjaminHoff. The characters in this book come fromWinnie the Pooh (a book by A.A. Milne,

    and Disney cartoon).

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    *

    * - (..)

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    This monk started to learn Suttas* when hewas 11 years old. One day his mother lockedhim in the house because she did not wanthim to practice meditation. When he was 18,he decided to run away from home to stayat a vipassana retreat center.

    *Sutta-pitaka: the Basket of Discourses fromthe Buddha

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    An American man once called the policeto inform them of an Asian alien-laborerwho had been abandoned. This alien hadno shoes and no clothes, and he waswrapped in a tablecloth. He was now walkingaround on the street, asking for food. Thepolice quickly came to investigate the case.Those who understood the situation had toexplain to the police that this was a mistake.

    The person was a Buddhist monk collectingalms food.

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    :

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    New denition: A home is the place we storeour things, while we go out looking for morethings.

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    : ?:

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    Lay person asked: Are you happy everyday?Monk answered: Im sometimes happyand sometimes unhappy. However, thehappiness is increasing and the unhappinessdecreasing.

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    If you seen an Indian man riding a newmotorcycle, it could mean that he has atleast 100,000 Baht in his bank account. Butif you see a Thai man driving a new car, itcould mean that he owes the bank at least100,000 Baht.

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    Thai people cast an image of the Buddha tosend to Uganda, Africa, with the face lookinglike that of the local people of Africa.

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    ? ?

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    Someone asked the Dalai Lama what is theeasiest way to practice that will give thequickest results. The Dalai Lama was quieta moment, then he wept for some time.Finally he said with a voice full of compassion,There is no idea worse than this.

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    Nibbana is a word which, in ancient times,Indian people used in daily life. It meant tocool down. For example, Wait until the foodnibbanas rst and then we can eat.

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    : ?:

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    Lay person asked: What is the denition ofNibbana?Ajahn answered: There is no denition forNibbana.

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    : ?:

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    Monk Noi: Where are you going after thevassa?Monk Nid: There is no one going and no onecoming.

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    An erce-looking, well built young man wentto visit his friend, a monk at a forest-monastery in Northeast Thailand. While hewas walking to his hut, he was bitten by manymosquitoes and surrounded by many ies.He mumbled to himself that he wouldnt beable to become a monk because there weretoo many mosquitoes in the forest-monastery.

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    Two monks just came back from a pilgrimage.Together they told that they sometimes gotlost on their way, but almost always got lostin their emotions.

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    Lay person: I will try to stay healthy so thatI can live for 120 years.Ajahn: If so, you may have to come to myfuneral.

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    Albert Einstein was a famous physicsprofessor, yet he remained so humble. If astranger were to ask about his career, hewould say that he was a student of physics.

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    : ?:

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    Monk Noi: Ive seen ghosts and angels.Would you like to see them too?Monk Nid: Id like to see my own mindconstantly and unceasingly.

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    Two monks went for a pilgrimage. In themornings they would go for alms in thevillage for their meal, and then would packtheir things to continue travelling. At night,their would nd places to put up a glot torest. They had a simple daily life. The mostexciting occurrence was when one of theirslippers fell off in the river and floatedaway.

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    () ?

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    One of Ajahn Chahs western students tooka picture of Ajahn Chah to be enlarged ata photo shop in his home country. When hewent to pick up the picture, the owner askedhim, Who is the person in this picture? I wasso busy all day but every time I looked atthis person I felt so peaceful.

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    : ?:

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    Monk Noi: If you make the determination tobe a Bodhisattva, you will then be able togo to heaven. If you persevere in thedevelopment of loving kindness you will beable to go to heaven of a higher level. Areyou interested?Monk Nid: Im interested in the present.

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    In the past, there were less opportunities forwomen to get an education, than for men.The oldest evidence of women getting agood opportunity in education and theinheritence of knowledge can be foundwithin the Pali Canon in The Therigatha.(Verses of the Women Elders found in theKhuddaka Nikaya)

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    : ?:

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    Lay person asked: Will you continue to bea monk and not disrobe?Monk answered: I dont think Ill disrobetoday; I have to sweep the monastery thisafternoon.

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    ?

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    A car was driving past one of the homes ofa hill tribe family. The father was carryingsome re wood while smoking. The motherwas following him, with her baby wrappedin a blanket. The city boy who was in the carasked his mother, Can we come and livelike this?

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    ?

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    The International forest-monastery inUbonratchathani province, Thailand, hasmonks and novices of various nationalities.This group includes a German monk livingtogether with a Jewish monk. When askedhow they feel about one another, theGerman monk said, We understand eachother well.

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    : ? : :

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    Ajahn 1: Have you ever read the Tipitaka?If not, do it before practicing Dhamma.Ajahn 2: You dont have to read the Tipitaka.Start practicing now. In a short time theknowledge will arise in your own mind.Ajahn 3: You may review the Tipitaka a little,but you dont have to study it to the level ofbecoming a master. Know enough to freeyourself from dukkha should be enough.

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    A foreign monk reported to his Ajahn thatattending the group chanting and sitting fortwo hours each morning stirred up hisimagination for four hours during each day.

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    ... ?

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    Somewhere in IndiaA female practitioner of vipassana wassexually harassed by a drunkard. Fortunately,someone saw the incident and came to herrescue. Later on, she went to see her masterand asked for advice on how to prepare forsuch an incident should it happened again.The master replied, Fill your heart withcompassion. Then hit him on the head with

    your umbrella.

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    iPod

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    On his way to collect alms, a young monkwas enjoying a Dhamma talk from aniPod (plugged into his ears). After a longwhile, realizing he had left his alms bowl atthe sala, he rushed back to get it.

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    : : ?:

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    Ajahn: Find yourself some good friends inDhamma so that you may seek their advicein time of trouble.Junior monk: Sir, I thought one shouldalways rely on oneself?Ajahn: The only truly reliable self, is the selfwhose training is nished.

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    An old Tibetan monk was imprisoned by theChinese military police. He endurednumerous forms of torture and was forcedto sleep on a cold, hard cement oor. Hewas not released until several years later.A news reporter once asked if he had everfeared death during his imprisonment. Hereplied, I feared not death but a hatefulheart that might have turned into vengeance.

    I was afraid my loving-kindness would diefrom my heart should such hatred takeform.

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    : ?: ......?

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    Monk Noi: Is the Bodhisattva a male or afemale?Monk Nid: Hmm, if I dont know the answer,will that prevent me from attainingenlightenment?

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    ( )

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    Bhodhiyana Monastery in Perth, Australia isa monastery in the tradition of Ajahn Chah ofWat Nong Pa Pong, UbonratchathaniProvince, Thailand. There are severalforeigners who wish to become monks there,but there are not enough kut is toaccommodate all of them. Those determinedto learn Dhamma will have to be on a longwaitlist. (Usually space will not be available

    until the next year. One who wishes to beordained has to make a reservation monthsahead of time.)

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    A junior monk who has been in monkhoodfor just 5 vassas was known for his inclinationto give highbrow Dhamma talks. One day,an old master monk said to him, You cankeep teaching other monks and novices howto obtain Nibbana. I myself will teach themhow to clean their alms bowls.

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    Buddhism explores dukkha, or suffering, butall Buddha images wear a little smile.

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    ...: ? : : :

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    Somewhere in HollandLayperson: Sir, what would you like to eat?I will go buy it for you.Monk: Whatever you think suits me.Layperson: Thats not quite right. We arehuman beings, and we are entitled tochoose.Monk: All right then, Ill choose not tochoose.

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    The Human Side

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    An American monk once told us that hegave passages from Albert Einsteins TheHuman Side that praised Buddhism to hismother to read, so that he could obtain herpermission to travel to Thailand to becomea monk.

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    A Theravada monk from Thailand asked asenior Vajarayana monk from Tibet that, asare were several Tibetan Buddhist schoolsof thought each with their different teachings,how could one know which teaching wasthe correct one? The senior monk said Anyschool which refers to the Four Noble Truthsis the correct one.

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    One fortuneteller predicted for his son Youwill pass your university exams. When theson heard this, he went out for parties andnever studied for the examinations. In theend, the outcome was the opposite to theprediction.

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    A timid young monk had thought that afterhis ofcial ordination he could escape intothe woods and avoid meeting many people.As it turned out, the longer he was inmonkhood, the more he would have to havecontact with the public.

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    An Aussie father asked his young son if hewould kill an enemy who aimed a gun at hismother, ready to pull the trigger. The sonsaid he could not kill anyone. The fatherwas furious at his weak-minded son. Lateron, the son went to Thailand and becamea Buddhist monk. Years later, the fathervisited his monk son and learned from theforest-monastery lifestyle and Buddhist

    teachings. Then he understood thingsbetter.

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    : ?:

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    A little novice: Will the spirit of the deadbody we saw at the hospital follow us toour kuti?A monk: We shall see tonight.

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    A foreigner monk confessed if he had to bereborn, he wished to be born a buffaloherder in Northeast Thailand so that he couldhear Dhamma teachings and be close tomonks from an early age.

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    A father and a mother took their son to learnhow to sh at a reservoir near a forest-monastery, hoping that this would help tostrengthen their relationship.

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    A laywoman observed that a young monkwore dental braces. She greeted the youngmonk good-humoredly, Already a monk,but still worries about looks.

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    !

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    One summer day, a junior monk announceddeantly amid the blazing sun, Master, ifyou dont allow me to disrobe, Ill havemangoes for dinner!

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    A supervising monk saw that a junior monkhad a tattoo of cabalistic writing all over hisback. He asked the junior monk, Why inheaven did you decide to have cabalisticwriting tattooed on your back? The juniormonk answered, I just want to have somemeans of protection.

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    A little novice complained, These almscollecting walks have given me crackedheels. I should never have become anovice!

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    Quite a number of foreign monks confessthat sometimes they are lonely being faraway from home.

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    A kind-hearted lay donor gave a little stuffedelephant as a New Years gift to a twelve-year-old novice.

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    A fierce-looking guy came to a forest-monastery for his Dhamma practice. Amonghis belongings was a large pillow. He saidhe could not go to sleep without it. This hadbeen his habit since he was young.

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    A foreign monk told his fellow local monks,Thai monks are attached to worldlyhappiness. A few years later, the foreignmonk wrote a letter criticizing at length thefaulty conducts of the monks at the hosttemple. Then, he disrobed.

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    A French businessman was interested inbecoming a monk but could not stopwondering if the warmth from a communityof monks could replace the love and warmthof a family.

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    A junior monk climbed to the rooftop to dorepair work and fell off. After some time,the monks father called and said, Dontleave the monkhood yet. It is an inauspicioustime for that at the moment. If you disrobenow, you are doomed.

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    : ?:

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    Laywoman: Last night a big storm came.Were you scared being all by yourself upon the mountain?Ajahn: In sleep, there is no fear.

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    In one Indonesian family, the father is aChristian, the mother a Muslim and the sonis a Buddhist monk.

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    A junior monk had been appointed as anabbot despite his mere 4 vassas of ordination.He worked so hard for the monastery thathe could not go to sleep.

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    A young hippie, upon reaching the age fortemporary ordination as a monk (a Thaitraditional way of showing lial gratitude);decided to buy his mother a new refrigeratorinstead of taking ordination.

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    ()

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    Another hippie stepped on a nail at his work.He yelled out, Luckily, I wear this amulet.The cut could have been deeper.

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    A junior monk appeared before his teacherto ask for the permission to disrobe. Theauspicious time recommended to him tomake this request happened to fall on thevery same time that all the monks includingthe master and the laypeople were havingtheir morning chant. The master, thus, saidto him, What auspicious time? Its all notauspicious. Its not convenient for me, and

    its not convenient for them either.

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    A senior monk: Hows it going? Are you ableto keep up attendance at the morning andevening chanting with the other monks?A junior monk: No, sir. But on those occasionswhen my body cannot make it, I let my noblemind go to the chanting.

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    %

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    Upon collection of sufcient payment fortheir service, more than 50% of missionarymonks will then disrobe.

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    : : ! !

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    A young abbot: Recently, I have beenresponsible for lots of work, been contactingwith many kinds of people. Im so confusedand overwhelmed and really want to ndsome time to be alone, away from thishassle.Luang Por: No need! Cut it now!

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    Many young monks agreed that studyingonly the Scriptures and other scholarly workshad made them feel like being back in acollege. This did not penetrate into the soulof Buddhism like practicing did.

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    Almost all of the Thai temples abroad mainlyserve to promote Thai culture. Those whichteach the local communities how to freethemselves from suffering mostly have aforeign monk as their abbot.

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    : :

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    Monk Nid: The layperson who has just leftsaid he felt calm after a two-week stay atour temple.Monk Noi: When they become monks, theyall complain they cant nd peace.

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    A foreign monk once told us that he watchedboth a live broadcast of a football matchand the lm Harry Potter during his visit to hishome country, but it was not the same funthat it used to be.

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    In the United States, the budget allocatedfor administrating detention centers is muchbigger than that for educational affairs.

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    : YO!WHATS UP? ?: ?

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    A Thai Monk: If a Thai teenager comes tothe monastery and greets, YO! WHATS UP?,what would you say to him?A foreign monk: Have you paid yourrespects to the Buddha Image yet?

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    : ?:

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    Layman: May I publish your teachings anddistribute the copies as a gift of Dhamma forothers?Luang Por: Why publish them? Books willturn into trash in no time.

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    Some Sri Lankans and Nepalis still believein their caste systems even after they havebecome Buddhist monks. Oftentimes, thesemonks quarrel because the more seniormonks happen to come from a lowercaste.

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    : :

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    Old monk: You surely have a guardianangel. Thats why no poison can harm you.Young monk: But some food can reallyupset my stomach, sir.

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    ( % % )

    :

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    A novice came up with an idea that monksand novices who indulged themselves insleeping would become Koala bears in theirnext lives (Koalas spend 90% of their lifetime sleeping, and the rest is spared foreating, excreting and reproducing).

    NB: In Australia, a person who sees a Koalaopen its eyes is said to be in for a lucky

    day.

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    ( ) ... Good morning Cup of tea

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    Ajahn Chah had Thai and foreign disciplesfrom every corner of the world. Despite thefact that he could speak very little EnglishGood morning and cup of tea being twoamong the few phrases that he knew.

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    In Sri Lanka, Buddhist Sinhalese greet eachother with Terawan sara naya which meansMay you have refuge in the Triple-gem.

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    The monk teacher was sitting with his eyesclosed, practicing loving-kindness meditation.When he opened his eyes, he noticed a littlegirl was trying to climb on his lap. The motherof that little girl screamed out loud, ran topick up the girl and then ran away.

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    A Thai monk was enjoying the scenery whilewalking around Berkley University in theUnited States. Then up came a Western ladywho grabbed at his robe and exclaimed,I really like this colour.

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    One Western man, having been ordainedas a monk not long, wanted to showeverybody that he didnt cling to traditions;therefore he put a slipper on the top of hishead while he was chanting.

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    In Western countries, if you want to go fora meditation retreat, it is necessary to ll outan enrollment form to help in arranging theaccommodations. The most important thingthey want to know is whether or not yousnore.

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    Most of the regular students who know thatthey snore bring their own tent so that theycan sleep away from the others.

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    !

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    Because of the limited accommodation ata certain retreat center, they have to putfour people in one room. One time, in themiddle of the night, one of the students wastalking in their sleep and yelled out, KillIt!

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    ?

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    A reporter interviewed one of the best knownhistorians of the world. The question was,What was the most important thing thathappened in the 20th century? Thathistologist took a while to think before hesaid, Its when Buddhism spread to theWestern world.

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    One American couple came to visit their sonwho had become a monk in a forest-monastery in Thailand. The couple hadbecome more interested in Buddhism sincetheir son had become a monk. The fathertold his son before they left that he has tobe a Buddhist monk for at least 5 vassas.

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    !

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    A French lady believes that the power ofmeditation can be transferred to anotherperson through a sexual relationship!

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    ...: ?: : ?:

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    Somewhere in cyber spaceA girl: What are you doing?A monk: Im looking at picture of deadbody.A girl: Why?A monk: It help me not to fall in love witha woman.

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    ( ) ? % %

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    After meeting with a Western monk who hadlistened to Dhamma from Ajahn Chah,recorded in the Isaan language; a curiousThai monk asked, What percentage of theDhamma Talks can you understand? Theforeign monk replied, May be 40%...but the satisfaction that comes from listeningis almost 100%

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    ...!

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    A young American couple were visitingThailand, and both had an interest inBuddhism and meditation. The guy could notdecide if he wanted to stay at the monasteryor continue to travel with his girlfriend. Theydecided to toss a coin, if it lands a head,hell become a monk. If its tails, hell leavewith his girlfriend. The result was heads, vetimes in a row!

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    () ...: ?:

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    A young Western Abbot was conding withhis teacher:Abbot: Yesterday was a Buddhist holy day.There were a lot of people who came to thetemple to determine moral precepts, andlisten to Dhamma teachings. The nextmorning I went out for alms and saw thepeople from the previous night, and theywere there catching fish. Why does this

    happen?Teacher: Buffalo are always playing inmuddy places, can you make them stay inthe nest like chickens?

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    ?

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    A Japanese man was thinking about gettingold and what kind of old man hell be whenhe grows old. He had not yet seen anyonewho could be an idol for him so he decidedto travel around the world searching for thatold-man idol. Finally, he found his idol whenhe came to Wat Nong Pah Pong in theprovince of Ubonratchathani,Thailand.

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    Dhamma can be translated in many ways,such as The Teaching of the Buddha, Nature,Truth, The Law of Nature, Universal Truth,Supreme Truth, The way things are Howeverthe only one word which covers all meaningsis Dhamma.

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    Once the Thai governments policy ofeducation was; knowledge comes togetherwith morality. Then the next governmentchanged the policy to be morality leads toknowledge.

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    A Buddhist monk was gived his ordainedname by his Ajahn when he rst entered themonastic order. The name was a verybeautiful name, meaning one with a purespirit. After a short period of time, he leftthe Buddhist order. Later he was back againat the same place and his Ajahn gave himthe same ordained name. Later on, he leftagain. The third time he came back to ordain,

    he was given a new name, meaning, onewho achieves completion.

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    Albert Einstein was working very hard on anexperiment in a laboratory. Afterward, thenew theory and solution of very a complicatedproblem just came to his mind during thetime that he was out taking a walk.

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    ? ?

    ...

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    A senior monk was telling a story about whenhe was a young boy. He told that his fatherasked him to chose a puppy and train it tobe a hunting dog. His father suggestedchoosing the one that was violent andaggressive. He asked his father, How do Iknow which one is the aggressive one? Hisfather said that you have to observe thepuppy during the time when the mother dog

    is feeding, the strongest puppy will be ontop of the others, or, when you pick up theaggressive one, he will bark and try to biteyou. Finally the senior monk said, Its thesame with the novices, I can tell which ones

    are going to be good monks and goodleaders in the community. Then a youngmonk asked, What about me, can I be agood leader? The senior monk replied,

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    Hmmmmm.. its possible, but it will takequite a long time!

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    : :

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    Layman: There are a bunch of bears in thisjungle; you should have a gun if you wantto live here safely.Monk: I can protect myself and live heresafely by meditating and spreading lovingkindness to all beings. If I die with a mind ofcompassion, I will go on to a place ofparadise.

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    ? ...

    ? ! ...! ?

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    One day, a priest came to visit his best friendwho was a monk. The priest brought apregnant dog along with him to give to hisfriend, because he knew his friend wouldlike it. Afterward, the dog delivered puppies,and the priest came to visit his best friendagain. He asked Are these puppies Christianor Buddhist? The monk answered; They areChristian. The priest was smiling and satised

    with that answer. Three months later, thepriest came to visit his best friend again, andhe saw that the dogs were running aroundand playing. He asked the monk, How arethey doing? The monk said Now all of them

    have changed to be Buddhist dogs. Thepriest asked, perplexed, How is that? Themonk replied with a smile, Because theireyes are opened now.

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    GLOSSARY

    Ajahn (Thai):teacher, from the Pali acariya.

    Dhamma; Dhamma-Vinaya:The teaching and monastic discipline laid

    down by the Buddha. Or, the truth of the waythings are and the code of virtue and

    morality in accord with that truth.

    dukkha:suffering, unsatisfactoriness, instability.

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    glot (Thai):a monks umbrella, which when opened

    and suspended from a line allows for amosquito net to be hung from it, givingprotection from insects.

    Isaan (Thai):

    the north-east region of Thailand.

    kuti:a small cabin or hut

    Luang Por (Thai):Venerable Father, a title used for highly

    respected monks.

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    sutta:discourse of the Buddha recorded in the

    Pali scriptures.

    Tipitaga:the Pali Canon

    Triple-gem:the Buddha, the Dhamma, the Sangha

    vassa:the monastic rainy-season retreat, a

    period of 3 months between the full moonof July and October. See also pansa.

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    Pesalo

    Publications

    Presents100

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