a brief saying that offers a moral lesson. a timeless truth about common experience. a practical word of advice for everyday life.

What’s a proverb?

A proverb is…A proverb is…

Can you think of some proverbs from our culture?

East, west, home is best．

Great trees are good for nothing but shade.

大树底下好乘凉。大树底下好乘凉。

金窝，银窝，不如自己的草窝。金窝，银窝，不如自己的草窝。

A bosom friend afar brings a distant land near.

海内存知己，天涯若比邻。海内存知己，天涯若比邻。

Caution is the parent of safety.

小心驶得万年船。小心驶得万年船。

Proverbs from other cultures ----Proverbs give insight into the values of a culture...

Be slow in choosing a friend, but slower in changing him.      Scottish Proverb

Don't speak unless you can improve on the silence.      Spanish Proverb

If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep.       Yiddish Proverb

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.   Malayan Proverb

The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.       German Proverb

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.       Persian Proverb

The hammer shatters glass but forges steel.      Russian Proverb

General Outline of the Book of Proverbs

Characteristics of the Book of Proverbs

Most proverbs are only two lines long and typically contrast opposite things or ideas.

Proverbs often overstate or oversimplify in order to make the intended point.

Proverbs typically use word pictures or images to make their point.

Parallelism in the Book of Proverbs

proverbs that contrast (the right way from the wrong way). They emphasize the importance of choosing correctly to avoid the fate of the fool. (Proverbs 3.33; 10.4 & 12.5)

proverbs that compare. These proverbs make comparisons using similes. (Proverbs 10.26 & 25.25)

proverbs that complete or clarify the point of the first line. (1.8 & 18.6)

Why read the Book of Proverbs?

Having “knowledge” is not the same thing as having “wisdom”.

What’s the difference?

Knowledge= the gathering of facts, figures, data…

Wisdom= the ability to see people, events, and situations as God sees them.

In the Book of Proverbs, Solomon reveals the mind of God in all kinds of everyday matters:

Personal Behavior, Parenting, Friendship, Politics, Revenge, Discipline, Ambition…

The search for wisdom

Wisdom Personified‘Wisdom cries out in the street; in the square she raises her voice’ (1:20)

Wisdom is the main character in the Book of Proverbs.

How do we ‘get’ wisdom (Proverbs 4:7)? ‘The Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding’ (Proverbs 2:6)

The Fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Prov 1:7

Fear of the Lord

The “Fear of the Lord" occurs at least 18 times in Proverbs (1:7, 29; 2:5; 3:7; 8:13; 9:10; 10:27; 14:2, 26-27; 15:16, 33; 16:6; 19:23; 22:4; 23:17; 24:21; 31:30).

3:7 Fear of the LORD is to depart from evil8:13 Fear of LORD is to hate evil9:10 Fear of LORD is beginning of wisdom10:27 Fear of LORD prolongs your life14:26-27 Fear of LORD is a fountain of life19:23 Fear of LORD leads to life

Wisdom regarding…

Marriage Money

Friendship Family

THE SELECTION OF A WIFE

A. The importance of making the right choice

B. Guidelines for finding a good wife

C. The virtuous wife

THE SELECTION OF A HUSBAND

A. Ways to learn about a man

B. Men to definitely avoid

C. The virtuous husband

Marriage

1. Much happiness in life depends upon making the right choice - Pro 12:4 a. A good choice greatly enhances the life of the husband b. But the wrong choice can destroy a man from the inside out! A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

2. It is folly to think that a mistake in this area can be easily corrected a. Many think divorce can be an easy solution b. But God hates divorce and remarriage may not be a viable option for the

disciple of Christ - cf. Mal 2:16; Mt 19:8-9

I. THE SELECTION OF A WIFE A. The importance of making the right choice

-- A man needs wisdom from God in choosing whom to marry!

I. THE SELECTION OF A WIFE B. Guidelines for finding a good wife

beauty

education

physical and mental health

morality

family commitment match

loyaltypersonality

B. GUIDELINES FOR FINDING A GOOD WIFE...

1. Seek help from God - Pro 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

2. Do not place priority on good looks alone - Pro 31:30 a. Beauty is skin-deep, temporary, to which we can easily grow

accustomed b. It is therefore a poor foundation upon which to build a life-long

relationship c. Sadly, many marriages are built on little more than physical attraction Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

3. Instead, look for these characteristics in a woman: a. The fear of the Lord - Pro 31:30 1) Such a woman possesses the beginning of wisdom - Pro 1:7 2) Having a wife who is a devout Christian should be the primary concern b. Discretion - Pro 11:22 1) This is the ability to do the right thing at the right time 2) Without this, beauty is worthless, and can even be the object of ridicule

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.

c. Wisdom - Pro 14:1 1) With this virtue in a woman, a good home can be built 2) Without it, efforts by the husband will be undermined by the wife! The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.

4. Avoid a woman who is quarrelsome a. Picturesque descriptions of such a woman (Pro

19:13; 27:15-16) A foolish son is his father’s ruin, And a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping

on a rainy day. Restraining her is like restraining the wind Or grasping oil with the hand.

b. It is better to be single and alone, than to be married to the wrong person! Pro 21:9,19

Better to live on a corner of the roof Than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Better to live in a desert Than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

C. THE VIRTUOUS WIFE

THE IDEAL WIFE... 1. Trustworthy - Pro 31:11 a. The husband can safely entrust her with his income b. She will not squander what he gives her, but use it in a manner that benefits them both

2. Filled with an enduring love - Pro 31:12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

3. Has practical skills - Pro 31:13-15,21-22 a. Such as sewing b. And cooking She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family.

4. Industrious - Pro 31:16,24 a. Makes investments (buys land and plants a vineyard) She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. b. Provides extra income (makes clothing and sells to merchants) She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.

5. Compassionate - Pro 31:20 a. Helping the poor b. Reaching out to the needy She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

6. Strong character - Pro 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

7. Speaks words of wisdom and kindness - Pro 31:26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

8. Diligently sees to her family’s need - Pro 31:27 Makes whatever preparation necessary - cf. Pro 31:15 So that her family does not go in want - cf. Pro 31:21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

9. Fears the Lord - Pro 31:29-30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

II. THE SELECTION OF A HUSBAND

A. THERE ARE WAYS TO LEARN ABOUT A MAN...

1. How does he treat animals? This reveals

a lot about his character - Pro 12:10 A righteous man cares for the needs of his

animal, but the kindest acts of the wicked are cruel.

2. Does he listen to the advice of others? That will tell you whether he is a fool, or a wise person - Pro 12:15

The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.

3. What type of company does he keep? You might be destroyed along with him - Pro 13:2 4. Is he quick-tempered? That reveals whether he is a person of understanding - Pro 14:29 A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.

5. How does he make money? You will suffer the consequences of his actions - Pro 15:27 A greedy man brings trouble to his family, but he who hates bribes will live.

6. Does he feel like he always has to put in his “two-cents” worth? If so, he lacks knowledge and a calm spirit - Pro 17:27-28

A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, And a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent and discerning if he holds his tongue.

7. Does he have compassion for the poor? If so, his prayers will be answered - Pro 21:13

If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor He too will cry out and not be answered.

B. MEN TO DEFINITELY AVOID...

1. A womanizer a. He will destroy himself and hurt all those involved - Pro 6:27-29 Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. b. If he flaunts God’s will before he is married, what assurance is there he will not

flaunt God’s will after he is married?

2. A quick-tempered man a. You will become like him and destroy yourself as well - Pro 22:24-25 b. Men are usually on their best behavior before marriage, think of what an angry man be like

after marriage! Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, Do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways, and get yourself ensnared.

3. A drinker Alcohol has destroyed many good men - Pro 23:29-30 Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has strife? Who has complaints? Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? Those who linger over wine.

C. THE VIRTUOUS HUSBAND

THE IDEAL HUSBAND... 1. Values his wife highly - Pro 18:22; 19:14 a. He realizes that she is a gift from God b. Especially when she proves to be prudent He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

2. Gives his wife her due - Pro 31:31 a. Allows his wife the opportunity to develop her own abilities b. Lets her reap the benefits of her own labors Give her reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

3. Praises his wife profusely - Pro 31:28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.

4. Trusts his wife implicitly - Pro 31:11 a. Demonstrates a willingness to trust her b. In such areas as her intelligence, her faithfulness, her abilities c. Is not jealous or suspicious Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.

5. Content with his wife’s love - Pro 5:15-21 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.

CONCLUSION

So much of the joy and meaning of life that God would have us enjoy is lost if there is not a good marriage!